You are right. I wonder if I figure out how to do it right I can avoid these dangers?
I've got an example. I was sitting around with in a friendly group of 8 after a tennis match. I sat politely listening to a woman describing her International Women's Day breakfast, and then she got onto the subject of women's football (which is the latest phenomenon in Melbourne). She asked everyone what they thought of womens football, I said "Women have magic bellies. Maybe they'll be injured while they're playing and lose that magic". She was dumb founded and went right off her head. Everyone else stayed silent, and meekly took her side to defuse her and changed the topic. On the way home my friend asked why I said it. I asked him what she found offensive about it? There isn't anything offensive about it unless she chose to be offended. He laughed and he said "when you put it like that it's funny, but at the time it wasn't, and no one got it."
When I got home I told my wife and she said "I've got a magic belly? Awww that sounds cute".
I've read that parts link. Very interesting stuff! Are you saying the best way to influence someone irrational to look at their beliefs, is to appeal to the managers and avoid the firefighters and exiles. To avoid the firefighter you use the Socratic method and avoid trying to reason.