I am not a parent, but I work with kids in their homes and I witness different styles of parenting. One of the biggest problems, in my opinion, is that parents fail to delineate the difference between
- Immoral behavior: hitting, stealing
- Unaesthetic behavior: screaming, lying, rudeness, dirtiness, etc.
- Parent's particular preferences: I don't want you watching TV during these hours, I want you to eat your vegetables, take your shoes off in the house, we pray towards Mecca 5 times a day, etc.
Obviously there is some overlap between some of these; for example lying about stealing something is more in the category if immoral behavior. Watching 10 hours of TV a day or eating nothing but candy, is objectively unhealthy and not aesthetic. But I think it's important that we know the difference, and that our children know the difference. Otherwise things tend to devolve into the helicopter parent model of just constantly barking orders at a kid "do this, don't do that, etc.", (very similar to how, when we abandon principles of a limited constitutional republic, things devolve into a constantly growing list of unknowable regulations).
Immoral behavior are things which are binding on everyone, Universally Preferable Behavior. Aesthetics are things which are objectively in the child's best interest, as far as physical, mental, emotional, and social health. Preferences are just things that you prefer. So each one requires a different kind of argument. The catch is, that your child now has the ability to mirror these arguments back at you. So if you hold your child to certain moral rules and aesthetic behaviors, they can hold you to them in return. And if you argue for certain preferences, your child can assert their preferences as well. If you do not respond positively when your child does this (which most parents do not), you are doing harm to your child's ability to think critically and respond to authority. If reason and negotiation apply only to a child, but not an adult, then they are a scam, just a manipulative tool to control those with less power than you. So peaceful parenting requires a kind of humility and self knowledge and integrity which most people simply do not have at this moment in time.
Those are just my thoughts on the subject, I hope that helps.