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Sorry if I'm just kind of jumping in with things that were already discussed, but once all the text block quoting started, it got hard on my eyes to try to follow everything so I'm jumping in............. 1. Have you read the book "Real-Time Relationships" by Stef? (or "On Truth"?) If so, have you shared RTR with your husband and discussed it together? 2. I am relistening to older shows and currently just finished 1106, which was a group discussion about striving for total honesty (with the self, primarily. With others as they can be trusted.) Now, if you've read Real-Time Relationships, you would understand I am talking about honesty of your feelings in the moment, not 'speaking your mind' in sense of dispensing conclusions at people, which are usually a way of acting out one's emotions instead of honestly expressing them. That would also include not censoring yourself. i.e. if you want to say something, but decide to remain silent, you are not practicing RTR, or honesty in the moment. So with that in mind.....what percentage of your time interacting with your husband would you say you are being honest in expressing yourself openly and actively in the moment? (Or being curious in the achievement of his own honest expression) What percentage of the time would you say you are being honest with yourself? i.e. do you catch yourself in an emotion and become curious about it instead of forming conclusions and acting out or suppressing? P.S. Real-time Relationshis is free adiobook: https://freedomainradio.com/free/ I could also direct you to some podcasts from when it was released that would help you discuss it in depth with your husband and understand the challenges and some techniques or methods to get past them.