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This is what I especially struggled with with my first son. I was terrified that if I allowed him to just cry in his room, all alone and in the dark, that it would totally scar him and flood his brain with all sorts of stress hormones and set off a domino cascade of negative reactions. I was a baby-wearing, constant contact, exceedingly tactile mom to my infant, and he was probably smothered with my insecurity and anxiety to nurture the crap out of him. The constant nagging anxiety of searching the internet for more information about what is good or what is harmful for your kid, and always helicoptering around them in the hopes that you will prevent them from feeling pain for from feeling scared of abandoned, it a dead-end street. I think a strict aversion to letting them cry it out at night is part of that hovering. If you can find a more gentle, easy way to do it, then yes! Do that! But maybe - for many different reasons - that doesn't work. I believe that this is where intuition and a good parent-baby bond is very helpful. Only the caregiver can really know if the baby is crying because it is scared, hungry, uncomfortable, or because it is angry and upset that the routine has changed. Sternness, coupled with an intact intuition and empathy, will allow the caregiver to make mature, well-formed decisions about whether or not letting their child cry it out at night is harmful or beneficial. I think I had created a cycle where he quite literally could not fall asleep unless I was actively bouncing, nursing, or rocking him. This made it so that he would wake up every 2 hours (the average length of a baby's sleep cycle), and he was unable to get rest unless I was doing all the work for him. This made me and my son extremely exhausted. Try living or almost a year with only 2 hours of sleep at a time, and in between those 2 hour "naps," you spend usually a minimum of 30 minutes awake, working to help get everyone asleep again. I was almost unable to function, and my son was quite tire,d too, because he did not get good, consistent, solid sleep. I think the lack of sleep made me struggle with some depression, because I remember, one afternoon, my son cried about something insignificant, and I felt absolutely nothing for him. At best, I felt indifferent in that moment. I was too tired to play, and I just sort of stumbled through my day hoping to catch a small amount of sleep before the torture would start all over again. One night I snapped and just didn't get him. He cried - really hard at first - and then he cried really hard the next night. And then he cried less and less each night and in about a week he sleep from 7 pm -7 am, and he would wake up happy, smiling, and feeling good, and I was happy to see him and felt able to play, talk with, cuddle, and spend my energy and time with him because I actually had energy. My affection for him skyrocketed through the roof and I felt incredibly in love with him, and he was bubbly, engaged, and so enjoyable and fun to be around. It was really good for both of us. Families are ecosystems. My job as the mother is to take care of the children. It does not do the children any favors if I am so spent and exhausted that I am literally fighting depression and antipathy. I can't sacrifice my own well-being 100% to others. I absolutely have to take care of myself. I'm not talking about taking care of myself as an excuse to be lavish or frivolous or lazy. I'm saying that I must give myself the same courtesy of care that I would give to others. It is only right and fair to me, and I cannot be a good person if I am constantly, systematically neglecting my most basic needs.

This is what I kind of thought as well. And the reason why he never seemed to have covered it in depth might be, cause he felt he could not justify the sleep training from an ethical and philosophical stand point.

Thanks, no thanks. This is the reason why I prefer not to engage with you : E:dit