adaywillcome

When I read his post I understood Tree Frog to be talking about this thing out in the culture where people, particularly rich and successful people, talk about giving back when they had to do a lot of negotiating and mutually beneficial thing to get to their position. I think taking issue with that sort of giving back sentiment is very different from not wanting to give back to the FDR community. I will say this particular topic is interesting coming from an apparent non-donator though.

RHR: You Are What Your Bacteria Eat: The Importance of Feeding Your Microbiome – With Jeff Leach http://chriskresser.com/you-are-what-your-bacteria-eat-the-importance-of-feeding-your-microbiome-with-jeff-leach

Elite Daily? The same site that released this feminist gem... http://elitedaily.com/women/ifiwereaboy-12-women-share-theyd-differently-mans-perspective/695478/

That's not enough. We still have fingers, toes, and tongues then. It's about existence.

This is an excellent point. I've learned a lot recently of the shit James has to put up with in modding. Deanonymizing the reputation system now opens everyone who reps + or - to the quite negative consequences of modding. People who never asked to be mods become reluctant to rate posts and then the whole system crumbles and then modding just gets harder again.A follow-up question for Ron (for you to ponder on your own or with friends, given James's post above): Why do you mistrust the members of this community so much?

Do you donate to FDR, Ron? This doesn't invalidate what you're saying necessarily, but if you care about the FDR community donating even $5/mo is the least you could do to show your support of the community. If you're not doing that, I, for one, am not particularly interested in what you have to say on the matter. It's about credibility.

Oh, sweet. I had this back in the day.

At the top of the boards is that supposed to be Tues, Aug 12th or Sun, Aug 10?

Rape culture is just another example of women getting to be all cryptic and mysterious while the man is expected to doltishly fumble around until he somehow stumbles on the secret.

Thank you for your commitment to quality.

Thank you Phuein!

"What they found was that the brains of those with the compulsive sexual behaviors “lit up” in a different way from those without such compulsions. Interestingly, the patterns of brain activation in these people mirrored those seen in the brains of drug addicts when they were exposed to drugs. Moreover, the three particular regions that lit up more in sex addicts’ brains – the ventral striatum, dorsal anterior cingulate and amygdala – are regions known to be involved in reward, motivation and craving." http://yourbrainonporn.com/cambridge-university-brain-scans-find-porn-addiction

I do not tolerate shit-talkers in my home. If I allow shit-talkers in my home I am at least partially responsible for the experience of any reasonable people in my home.

Intactivists tend to be anti-spanking, attachment, breastfeeding, anti- cry it out, etc. Intactivists FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/254678391381679/

Do you / did you donate to FDR? I thought I remembered you having PK on the old board.

Have you seen the "I Am Adam Lanza's Therapist" vid?"RAD children were not born RAD. They were born to love and be loved. Every child I ever met with a propensity for violence was the natural product of extremely painful treatment, usually beginning with being left in daycare too young (perhaps as newborns) and too long (daily, throughout their first years). It was so painful the child drew a conclusion that they were alone in the world, and they gave up on the deepest drive and hope of all, love. They gave up on loving and being loved and cherished. They were not loveable. They decided they were on their own and there was no adult in the world they could trust. They decided never to be vulnerable again, because it hurts too much. We all know adults who feel that way. This is why. However, our injuries were small compared to Adam’s, Dylan’s, Eric’s, Jared’s and Seung-Hui’s. It’s relative.Sometimes a three-month-old draws this conclusion. I have seen it. The infant will arch her back and push away. If the parent tries to make eye contact or talk tenderly, she will wriggle or point to the corner in the ceiling to “change the subject”. Sometimes a two-year-old draws the same conclusion. It is a decision a child forms before the age of three when the seeds of extreme violence are set. By the same token, the seeds of resilient mental health are set before the age of five, the optimal year to let them leave home for a while. It all stems from how they are treated in the beginning years of life. It’s a decision the child makes that can be unmade, with the right intervention. Everyone wants to love and be loved if it’s safe, only if it’s safe."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3l_e_paeIA It's the opposite of parenting though.

I have one and love it! Don't even have a phone plan on it. It's just that useful. When I do therapy I can just put the appointment straight in my phone and don't have to carry around the appointment card and enter it in later. I can read books on my Kindle app. Listen to podcasts. Use a calculator. Write journal entries. I get so much use out of it!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/FDRMeetupOrganizers/

I found BOTH families distressing to say the least.

"Is it okay to have compartmentalized relationships?" Are you honest with yourself about those relationships?

I won't take it personally if you distort, but I will take it personally that you told me not to take it personally. Why did you hang up on your brother? I'm asking this one again. Have there been prior conversations with your brother that didn't go well that factored into your shortness with him? How were you misled? Have you told them you didn't want to talk to them before -- so calling on your grandfather's phone becomes a deception? Why do you fear not answering for your grandfather? Do you need him to cosign further loans? What's going on there? Do you think it's fair to say that you are still frozen? On my end it feels like pulling teeth, like you are giving me the bare minimum factual answers to my questions. Do you not want to dig into this stuff?

I am skeptical it's lack of energy keeping you from these things. I have gone through several phases of up and downs in doing healthy things and doing unhealthy things. Every time I started doing healthy activities, my energy very quickly caught back up. There's a part of myself that very much doesn't like when I do get back into healthy behaviors though and tries to sabotage the healthy stuff.How old are you? Do you live with your parents? What do your parents do for a living? What would you like to do with your life? I just listened to this podcast this morning, I think you might find it relevant to your situation. http://www.fdrpodcasts.com/#/1326/ambition-success-terror-stagnation-convo

Why did you hang up on your brother? Do you think it was manipulative crying?How did you justify it? You're free to answer if you want, right?

Thanks, Lians. This was a nice boost in getting motivated to move again.

THIS!!! What were chores like for you growing up? Did you go to public school? What about sports, theater, clubs? Were you raised with religion?