chewit

After picking apart many of my childhood films, I too have been thinking on what films may be useful for my son, and others' children instead of the parade of morally perverted drivel that comes out of many a film studio's doors... I find it best to steer away from most disney films, but only because they perpetuate sexual stereotpyes, inequality, gender-abuse etc, etc... I am also mindful of films that have a covert boy-meets-girl things tagged on the end, as well as strongly expressed moral dialogues smothered with cuteness, humour and princessification. And most sequels are even more full of manipulative and propagandised bullsh*t than the original. There are no doubt many other ways to determine what may be good for my child at his/her stage of life... your child/ren will no doubt be very different at all the stages in their life and a film that may hold a great moral quality at one age could go right over their heads if shown to them in other stages. I find that (As long as I know enough of the issue explored in the film myself) discussing a film with my son afterwards is very important. So many parents just pop a DVD on and leave their kids to it. Actively watching films with your children and discussing it to a degree is a very responsible thing to do. It teaches them that firstly, their opinion is important and valued, and it also helps them cultivate their own critical thought processes so they too can understand 'why the Queen is doing that' or 'why the King is going to war' etc etc... Stef has covered many films and the idea of fantasty. Fantasy is something that I am still exploring, so I'm not certain on this yet, but it may be useful to show children films that are relevant to their lives at whatever stage they find themselves. Erasing certain types of fantasy (or atleast shelving them for now) could be a useful differentiation. Films that I think can be very valuable to children; easy to understand (without hollywood or product placement, gender programming etc) include: Ernest & Celestine (Great one for tolerance and freindship) The Secret of Kells (Creativity, authority, perseverance) Terry Pratchetts Hogfather & Going Postal There are many, many more, I will add more as I remember them!

I am of the mind that we are seperated from our parents in many ways too early in life... so a little co-sleeping does no harm - in general. But if you've already established a rule of no co-sleeping then it is probably this that you may need to address with her. I can understand that if she is in a new house with a new bedroom, new noises etc... that as long as you help her understand that it is because of these factors that you are happy for her to jump into bed with her, and that it won't happen all the time, then she will be fine. Seeing as this post is a while old, how did the situation develop, OP?

My 11 year old son and I were discussing aggression and anger the other day. It was a long talk and to cut a long story short he tells me that when they argue (We have been seperated for over 9 years) she often shouts him down (I and others have noticed her over-enthusiasm in this regard), and he tells me that she also grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him very hard, and sometimes when she does this, that she throws him down onto the sofa. He tells me she doesn't spank or beat him. He is an honest boy and he tells the truth, after careful questioning, I am 100% that he is telling the truth on this. My quandry is how in the hell do I approach her about this? We (me and his mother) have had our differences over the years (and still do!) but we have gotten to a space where we can communicate well enough to a degree to be effective parents, I have him a fair amount of the time and I really don't want to upset the balance we - and more on point, our son - are currently enoying. I understand a fair amount about her, I can see the emotionally abusive behaviours she acts out on him and various other things, although questions about her may be answered if relevant, I am really looking to ask how do I approach this with her directly? She can be quite flighty and as soon as she is being held responsible for something, the tables are flipped in order to deflect this responsibility. In short, she is mostly unreasonable. Any ideas?