FreedomFanBoy

We have a 3 year old little girl and one of the ways I connect with her is to ask her about her dreams. Almost every day I'll ask. I think it's important to show curiosity, show we each of different experiences and connect over them.

Parent Effectiveness Training

Asking for a button to stop a baby from crying is like pushing a button to stop pain somewhere in your body. If you push it and don't treat the cause of the pain, you are doing your body a disservice and not treating the root cause, which could make the matters worse. The crying is your baby's only way to communicate, learn the language. He's yelling at you for not understanding his needs.

Thank you very much! That's really nice to hear.

I remember what it was like to realize that Santa wasn't real. I felt like I was a fool, that my parents and older brother were just tricking me and treating me like I was stupid for still thinking that there was a Santa. I was genuinely hurt that they kept the stories and lies going. Years later, I found a letter I wrote to Santa, and it re-awoke my anger. I can't do that to my child, lie to them, trick them for the sake of going to bed early. To tell them that an illogical man, they've never met, will sneak into their home, where they find comfort, and give them goodies based on a behaviors, something subjective like whether a stranger thinks they are "good" or "bad". And, when you think about it, Santa must love rich kids more than poor kids, no matter how "good" poor kids behave in a year. It's insulting to the intelligence of a child.

Is it not possible to pump some breast milk and have some ready and waiting for times like these? From an non-Professional (unless you think being a parent is the most important job in the world, then I would have been in this career for two years now) I would say that it would be important to comfort him as his cries are a plea for help. He probably is thinking "the big person with the sometimes scratchy face doesn't know what he's doing! He is stopping the big person with booby food from getting here, and I need to yell so she can hear me!" Try to have a bottle set aside in case of emergencies and comfort with slow left to right swings. Alternate, walk around, lay him on his belly in your arms, etc. I would be concerned if the up and down "anti-grav" thing would be too jerky, but I'm not there and can't see, obviously. Oh! And Congratulations! It's an amazing experience, being a father.

That sounds really nice. I like the idea of giving gifts to neighbors, seems like a good way to build a relationship with them. How did you explain holidays, or your lack of participation? We don't want our daughter to be "shunned" by her friends as the weird "Jeahovas Witness" type. Did jealously ever become an issue with your children and the perceived riches their friends received?

As enlightened, peaceful parents, how you do handle holidays? We are constantly asked "What are you dressing your daughter up as for Halloween?", "What is Santa getting her for Christmas?". etc. We don't do Halloween for 2 main reasons, #1, she's only 2 years old. She doesn't eat candy. It's bad for her. We have diabetes in our family history. and #2, she's only 2 years old! She doesn't understand that it's kinda weird to dress up in some commercialized cartoon character (we don't watch tv), go to neighbor's houses we've never met, begging for something that not good for you, for reasons we can't explain other than "tradition and culture". When it comes to Christmas, we don't talk about Santa because he's not real. She already has everything she wants, because she's 2, and "tradition and culture" again. It's an arbitrary religious day. Do we give her the gifts that her cousins and grandparents sent her? Yes. But it's not a big deal in our house. What are your thoughts? What do you do in your homes for the Holidays? For full disclosure, we do cook a big meal for Thanksgivings, but that's because we love food.

Sums it up nicely.

I just private messaged the CNN Opinion article (http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/22/opinion/mackenzie-spanking-effects/index.html?hpt=hp_t4) to my High School friend, then started to read it. This quote stood out to me: "Changing people's minds about something they care about by presenting data is a tough thing to do, particularly around something so emotionally laden as spanking" Hopefully she gets that far into it without dismissing it.

I used to cry watching them. Now I feel disgust at the abandonment of the child and the glory searching and youtube view counts they put at a higher priority than spending the childhood with the child. This behavior is worshiped and praised and the child comes out damaged and alone because of it.

Brian, I do regularly share photos. Constantly and probably annoyingly. She and I are friends on both Facebook and Instagram so she definitely sees what kind of amazing child that had come into our life.

I like to think that the "seed" I planted that day was the knowledge that it's not alright. That people can give reasoned arguments as to why either the apathy, ignorance or willful abuse is wrong.

Your niece sounds a lot like my daughter in respect to her language skills. How old? 2?

I live 1000 miles away from where I grew up. It had a lot to do with why my wife and I are peaceful parents. I can imagine how hard it would be to try to raise a child peacefully when your parents or siblings are around spoiling your self-knowledge and commitment to peace. Luckily we only see family once a year, if that and for only a weekend. I will follow up with her as she gets further along in the pregnancy. I just ordered P.E.T. and plan on reading through that. Once done with that, I'll recommend it to her. I just can't imagine waiting your whole life to meet your child, be there when she/he is born, look them in the eye and promise to protect them and in a few short years feel like you have the right to physically assault them. It's sick. By the way, I came across this in the FDR Facebook group and donated right away. If you have chance, please look it over and consider the same http://stopspanking.org/