Elias

I meant to hint to the fact that we are the same kind of thinkers. I asked her "what do you like to think about on long drives" and from that sprung a conversation about atheism. Just like most relationships in its infancy, ours also started out as a "crush" meaning it's hard to explain why we want to see each other all the time, but we do in fact give up both time and money just to see each other. I don't drink, I don't do drugs or anything like that, so when she broke these news to me I was of course disappointed and what I would like to know is if there is a way to help encourage her to get her life under control - she is clearly uncomfortable with her lifestyle, but I think she might need help getting out + I want her to get out of it too.

Ok, well she is kind, she is an atheist which is a pretty fundamental thing that we have in common (a coincident that's not very common down in the American south), she is attractive and she thinks the same things about me. Though this would be the third time in a row that I have found myself in a relationship where I feel like my significant other views me almost as a role model. One was an athlete whose dad coached her since she was a kid where their relationship was very one-sided and authoritarian from his part, the other one never met her dad and had a step-dad who the mother married only for financial security, and now I'm dating this girl.. It's as if these people have grown up with bad male role models, which I guess they feel like I make up for as a "good and caring" male role model. I don't know why it is that I am drawn to them though. Any thoughts? thanks guys! You're already helping me out with great approaches to this!!

This pretty much describes me too. My brother (at least one of them) is really ambitious, and at least in his case I'd say it's innate in his personality. I just hate doing more than I need to get by, and it feels like adderall would be insanely good for increasing my productivity. I'm one of those people who lay in the bed hungry when I don't have hw or anything like that to do, just because I don't think it's worth hopping on my bike and ride it to dinner a few blocks away, because I am so easily content with my situation, whatever it is.

What if someone needs to call you (1st in the rotation) when Bob (3rd in the rotation) has the phone?

I'm in college and I'm seeing this very sweet girl, that's unfortunately (for both herself and for me) hooked on the sorority life of excessive drinking, partying and even drug abuse. I have only known her for a short period of time, so our relationship is not that serious yet, but I would like it to be if she could straighten herself out. She has self-esteem issues and it seems like she is constantly afraid of being rejected because of her issues. So she has a history of resorting to casual sex and rejecting commitment preemptively just to avoid the risk of being dumped first. She finds a life without alcohol and drugs appealing (she hates drinking), but she's afraid of what's going to happen with her relationship with her sorority friends if she abandons even parts of this destructive lifestyle. She also seems a lot more comfortable expressing attachment when she is drunk, but gets really reluctant whenever we speak of commitment. Should I intervene? If so, how!? Should I leave her and let her figure it out herself? oh and she has some daddy issues (I THINK the daddy might be absent) and I think she feels like her mother is not really proud of who she is and her accomplishments..