AKeinick

"Maybe they go for the - get them young and the possibilities are endless...? After all, there are some very young shooting kids in USA too - 9 years old: ...but that did not come with the ideological barrage of fanatic religious views like kill all nonbelievers." To be fair, the US is one of the more religious nation states on the planet, George W Bush is on record using his god as a justification to invade Iraq and its not uncommon for young American Christian soldiers to engage in the exact same sort of insane, sadistic behaviour that members of ISIS do, its just not reported as frequently in the west. I'm not defending ISIS and the despicable things they tell their gun wielding young ones, I'm just saying the USA is no different, its just a different god, and a more expensive gun.

Thank you for your kind and concerned reply Dylan. You are correct in that my concern is that my son will now pay some kind of price over and above what he deals with on a daily basis. He already gets grounded from his favorite things constantly for minor missteps on the incredibly loaded mine field of his mother's volatile emotional states and she always yells, calls names and generally shirks responsibility for her actions onto others. She spanked him a few times when he was much younger but we had it out over that and she doesn't do that anymore. I guess I'm mostly worried that since the conversation ended so abruptly and she was clearly so upset when she walked away, my son got to deal with the aftermath wherein her fuse was already blown and now he's walking on eggshells. Im supposed to have a 15 minute window to call him on Mondays and Wednesdays so hopefully she doesn't ignore the call and allows me to talk to him. I definitely feel now that I was right in telling him the truth and wrong in telling his mom that I told him the truth. He actually suggested that 'we' should keep it a secret from her but I didn't think it really fit with the whole 'truth and honesty' theme of the experience that he and I had when I told him the truth, and I don't know if its appropriate for me to encourage a child to lie to or keep secrets from their parents in general. I'm definitely questioninv this last reason now though as I said. And its not like we haven't had to keep a secret or two from her before either. Its true she made me feel small and have control over me when she blew her lid, its sick, but her controlling vindictive ways are actually part of what attracted me to her in the first place 9 years ago long before I grew any amount of self esteem, she's just like my mother... I honestly didn't think she would react like that this time though, its been a while since she has, but then again its been a while since I've talked to her about anything she disagrees with, I didn't think it through enough, I was to busy enjoying time with me son, not planning out how I was gonna give his mom the 'bad news'. I can't simply have it out with her though, meaning I can't piss her off with logic and reason. If it were ANYONE else, I could, but she has cut access unilaterally for months at a time in the past when I've held my ground on something. In fact my son expressed concern that she would do so again if I told her that I told him. I failed to heed his wise words and now it seems he had an extremely valid concern. I think from now on I should not try to intervene when it comes to his relationship with his mom as he seems to have had the right of this one and she's not doing anything illegal to him. He seems to have a pretty good handle over how best to corral the beast, far better than I ever had at east. That said, if she does cut access again, I won't pay child support until she reinstates it, I work a min wage job so its not a massive payment, but she's on welfare so its enough to affect her decisions for sure, I've tried court proceedings and they did not work, money is the only thing that seems to work with her. Anyways as I said I'll let you know whether I get through to him tomorrow and how the conversation goes. Again thanks for your empathy, it actually brought a tear to my eye on the first read of it. Its nice to get some helpful input, not just the usual "What a bitch!" that my foo gives me.

I am a dad who gets to see my son for the day once a week. He is seven, grade two, and, up until today, he believed in Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. I don't remember what we were talking about when he seemingly randomly said to me "Santa isn't real.". I haven't talked about Santa with him for years after learning more about ethics, I did somewhat indulge the fantasy when he was about three, but I swore to myself that I wouldn't lie to him about anything including this. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want to provoke his mother or teachers so I didn't outright tell him either. Today while we were playing Lego together he told me "Santa isn't real". I responded with the truth and we had a long talk about many different things including lying, trust, whether its possible for a human to eat a billion cookies in one night, whether its possible for a human to visit 40+ houses a minute for 12 hours solid, and many other things. He was hurt that he was lied to by others, like his mom, and hurt that I lied through omission by not simply telling him the truth earlier. I promised him that I'll never lie to him again and apologised sincerely and we had an incredibly emotionally intimate bonding experience where we talked about things like what dreams are, why people tell kids Santa is real even though he isn't how I want him to feel like he would choose me to be his dad if he had a choice because of the fact that he didnt. Much more memorable time than the usual video game fest we have. When I dropped him off back at his moms later in the day (a woman I never should have dated to begin with, highly volatile personality) I told her that he told me Santa isn't real and that I confirmed his suspicion. She was pissed. She basically yelled at me for 5 minutes about "There's reasons you should lie about these things" and "Do you have any idea how much I put into Santa for him", all within earshot of Aidan, the window was open, as I stuttered around her assault attempting to explain myself but failing miserably. I am now worried that she is going to use our son as an emotional pin cushion for her to attempt to manage her anger and I am questioning whether it was correct to tell him the truth in this situation. Hindsight is supposed to be 20/20, yet the only conclusion I can derive from this latest eruption is that I never should have dated such a mess of control issues of a woman. However, that conclusion doesn't seem to have much to offer in terms of best dealing with the hole I dug for my son BY creating him with this woman, and possibly by being honest with him when his mom prefers a lie. I should also mention that she mentioned in her tirade that I should have called her when he made the proposition. What do you think? Honesty is the first virtue is it not? I understand that there are some things you don't tell kids like the ISIS beheadings, that's not a lie if you don't talk about it, which is similar to how I've approached the Santa thing in the past, but where do you draw the line when you know your child CAN understand all the ins and outs of the situation and is actively seeking the truth of if, yet his emotionally abusive mom is emotionally attached to the idea of him remaining blissfully, or not so blissfully, ignorant? I thought that telling her up front what happened was the best idea, 'soften the blow' so to speak, but now I'm questioning whether I should have maybe told my son the truth but to keep it a secret from his mom, or if I should have simply gone along with the crazy lady and continued to 'lie by omission' as I have before. Now that I've written this post I'm thinking that I did the right thing by telling him the truth and apologising for not doing so earlier. Now A) He knows the truth. and B) He knows I respect him enough to tell him the truth. Anyway if anyone has any insight into anything I might have missed here I would love to get your thoughts. Also if anyone has any similar stories and how they dealt with them I would love to hear about that too. Thanks again for reading and thanks in advance for any responses.

I wrote the following journal entry today, I thought I'd post it here to see what anyone might have to say about it: Currently at bus stop to go to the internet cafe because I'm bored. Finished the work history portion of my resume, spent 20 dollars, more than I can afford, on a tasty but small Vietnamese meal. Currently feeling anxiety about going to the internet cafe to play my favourite computer game "LoL". I'm currently ranked silver 2 in LoL, highest rank I've ever been, I recently came off an in game suspension for verbal abuse which also said 'Only Warning' as i have a tendency to get frusterated with my team mates mis steps, mis plays, or other actions they take which i may disagree with and i often get downright abusive in my interactions with them, especially if they initiate abusive speech towards me, i act like oh this time they ASKED for it. I rocketed up the rankings immediately after the ban mostly due to increased care while playing and renewed excitement about the game, while also refraining from 'rageing' at other players which destroys team play and actually causes more losses statistically than skill deficiencies. The anxiety is REAL. I feel like there is other stuff I should be doing instead and that my anxiety will impede my progress in the game. I am also worried that I will stay too late and fail to get a good enough sleep before picking up my son for the day tomorrow. I NEED to get a better job because I need to better support my son, who I have limited access to, haven't seen a doctor in years, or a dentist, and I need therapy. I should thus be finishing my resume instead of going to the internet cafe.... Two seconds after writing that last statement, the bus pulled up and I got on it anyway. Now I'm on my way to the heroin shop (metaphor for video games instead of doing what needs to be done. I think the anxiety feels less so since the decision is made but, of course, it is still there in the background. The part I can't really figure out is that I am ostensibly going there so I can attempt to increase my rank in the game to gold (currently ranked silver), but its very competitive and I feel like the state I'm in actually makes it far more likely that I will decrease in rank as a result of playing. Especially if I slide back into the abusive pre suspension behaviour which earned said suspension and has kept me down in the ranks in general. 6 hours later, I just got home, I lost almost every game I played and fell in the ranks as predicted, got less than nothing done and am now up slightly later than is optimal though its not as late as I worried it might end up being. I don't feel the anxiety as much as earlier, though its still there a bit. If anyone actually took the time to read this, thank you a ton. Please let me know what kind of feelings you may have felt while, or after reading it, maybe they will give me some insight into mine. Any questions or propositions are most welcome. I'll check back tomorrow. Thanks again

Hmmm well thanks a ton Kevin thats definitely a step in the right direction, I can use the link you provided to VIEW all the gold, silver and bronze content (titles, descriptions)... So I click the latest gold podcast and it takes me to a section where I can see comments on the podcast, and there's a "download" link which I click and my browser then brings up a download dialogue for a split second before it says "Download Failed". It might just be my phone though, I don't get very good reception at all where I currently am so I bookmarked the link and I'll try it again when I fight a better area. Also just wondering, slightly off topic so sorry about that, is there any other content above gold level donator status? ie: Platinum podcasts?

Here's something that will make all other problems in this thread seem small, I dont have access to ANY of the premium content... because I don't know where it is After donating, Stef sent me a message indicating I could log in and there would be a link near the top of the page, but I don't see it. I'm sure I'm just missing something here... Can anyone help me out on this? I tried searching the term "premium" in the podcast search area thing and the only one that came up was the You Are Full of Treasure Podcast. Also, not sure if it matters but ALL my internet browsings are done on a Nexus 5 android phone so maybe the layout for the site is just different. Either way I have no idea how to access the gold, silver and bronze stuff. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for the thouhts thus far. I should clarify since I didn't in the first post that the idea is to quit getting drunk, not to quit drinking. I'm not opposed to having a beer or two (no more) with friends on occasion and things like that. A glass of wine at dinner is good for you, two neither good nor bad, three... not so good. Pot on the otger hand is far more tempting to me for various reasons. I definately need to keep my distance from it. I really like the idea of keeping the pot I have to remind myself, its a tiny amount so no risk of jail, and I live in Canada so the swat teams won't be running any US style midnight raids anytime soon, it may also help in a situation where its offered to me and I wont feel sentimental since I could have gone back any time between now and then of my own accord. I also like the idea of understanding WHY I was into these things... I think the alcohol is largely a thing of social and familial pressure considering the alcoholics in my family and the career in kitchens. The pot was has a lot of social and familial pressures but it also has a more immediately pleasing effect without the TOTAL idiocy that results from over use not to mention the hangover leading to much more regular use than alcohol. I definitely want to do some therapy but I can't afford it at the moment which is part of why I'm quitting these things so that I can stop procrastinating on getting a real job. The substances have nothing to do with my ex 'limiting' our father son time though, but that's a whole other can of worms, basically she tried to take him to England and marry a guy she barely knew so she could get pregnant and leave me in the dust, she wants to raise him as a baptist, she spanked him when he was three, we couldn't have more opposite views of how to raise him. She yells and screams to resolve conflict and her emotions, I don't, the list goes on. Suffice it to say I dated and impregnated her about about 2-3 years before I became acquainted with philosophy and peaceful parenting and holy shit has there been a lot of growth since then but I digress. Anyways thanks again a TON for the thoughts thus far. Please keep them coming. Day two complete! Tomorrow is my weekly day with my son so no chance of relapse then! See ya in a day or two y'all

Tried to post this yesterday (so its actually day two now) but connection was poor so I'll post it now: Just got through podcasts 830-833 and a quote really resonated with me when Stef speaks about a listener who criticises Christina's (spelling?) general stance against using drugs and alcohol. Stef basically says "She's into people living in reality and drugs distort your relationship to reality.". Until today my routine has been to get off work, go home, smoke a bowl, play video games, go to bed. I dont drink as often as many people I know which is probably a higher amount of people than most considering I work in the bar industry and alcoholism runs in my family, some times ill just have beer or two but the times I drink to get drunk, I get drunk fast, i become even more socially akward, i throw up and fail to remember things the next day while also feeling like absolute shit. I also dont have very much fun usually when Im drinking because, as Stef says in the podcasts mentioned above, it kinda hollows you out and nothing substantial can really be discussed or related to especially considering the people your with are probably not exactly philosophers. I'm always tired and I RARELY do anything productive. I have a shitty job. My house is a mess. I never have any money and there is a list a mile long of things I need to do but keep putting off, mostly because I have no money and its just easier to go home and get high and play video games. The list goes on. I'm twenty eight and I have a son whos mother is very controlling and strictly limits my time with my son which is exteremely hard on him as she has him in a catholic school and absolutely uses him as an emotional sponge but here I am doing nothing useful to fight it short of attempting to teach him about love and logic when he's with me for a few hours on the weekold. Anyways I could go on for hours about this but the point is that today I decided to forgo the weed. It was so tempting and I haven't thrown it in the garbage yet... It seems like a waste and I thought maybe I would give the leftovers to a friend but I should probably just flush it down the toilet... Anyways today is day one. Instead of going home to wallow in my sorrows I went to see a movie with my two little brothers, 13 and 15 years old respectively, hung out with them a bit and told them that I'm on day one of no drugs no alchoh, and then I went home, stared at the weed a bit but kept true to not smoking it, instead I downloaded the recent rogan/molyneux podcast I've been meaning to listen to, I shaved for the first time in three weeks and now I'm writing this post. I'll try to keep you posted but of course if I relapse (so to speak) I probably won't keep you posted... Anyways please wish me luck! Any advice or comments or criticisms of any kind are most welcome! Please be honest as fuck with me and don't pull any punches, my sons future may well depend on it.

Wow that was unexpected. I continued working after that last post and the conversation continued. I basically tried to quietly kill the topic but it persisted due to both of us and I basically said that we can't even agree on how to determine truth or what the definition of government is so we can scarcely hope to further explore the intricacies of government policies, programs and problems. He said there is no absolute truth ('its all opinion' type thing) and we explored the self defeating nature of that statement, being as it proposes absolutely that nothing is absolute. I mentioned the world is round absolutely. Gravity exists absolutely. Etc. This conversation was far more palatable to me than the previous predictable back and forth about governments and opinions so I continued with it. I had mentioned a few times throughout our our shift that principles need to be consistent which was spurred by an analysis of and assertion that had been made that people have the ability to, through democracy, give others the right to initiate force against others which results in a situation where two diametrically opposed individuals could both be granted the right to aggress against eachother if two separate groups elect as such (Israel/Palestine anyone?). The chat had died down a little, much more amicably so than usual during the only semi-amicable and seemingly predictable back and forth that happens when an AnCap talks politics with a decidedly statist police/politician lover (always wanted to be a cop, dreams of being a politician). I mentioned how the laws of logic dictate that a proposition which contradicts itself is false by definition. He's a learned fellow with a sharp memory so I assumed he knew what empiricism was but he didn't. I explained it as best I could, basically that its verifiable objective truth which exists and persists independent from human perception. I was surprised he hasn't heard of it and he almost seemed embarrassed himself for not having known. Heres the exciting part: Almost out of no where he started admitting that he was undereducated in the area of philosophy and was basically having trouble keeping up with the conversation as a result (so to speak, my words not his) and that it was hard for him to say as much because, as I said he is usually very self assured and confident in his ability to engage the 'higher' planes of knowledge like politics, books, science, religion and other things (again, all my words not his, my memory is foggy). I assured him that I respect the everliving hell outta him for being so honest about that. He basically asked me how I learned about this stuff and I told him the main place I do my research is FreedomainRadio and casually mentioned that its the largest philosophy conversation in the world and that there's actually a specific series of free podcasts on the site which are actually called "Introduction to Philosophy". He made sure to get me to send him a link so I did to both the main site and the Intro to Philo series. How's that for a seeming grind of "Two TVs pointing at each other" turning into something positive! Omygosh what if he sees this thread! It would be worth it Enjoy the new listener Stef. Zeus knows you deserve it.

If I didn't fear for my job I might just tell him honestly and openly that this is what's going on. He has me on Facebook so he knows that I'm into this stuff and he loves to 'debate' about it but its not a real debate, he changes his story anytime I expose a contradiction in his statements. He's interested in the conclusion with little respect for any kind of methodology. I don't want to dignify the sophistry by engaging it but I don't want to lose my job... Anyway back to work for now

I havent spoken to my dad in almost a year and thus neither has my nearly 7 year old year old son. The three of us used to spend a lot of time together. I havent spoken to my son about it really at all and Im just wondering how and what some of you might comminicate to him about it.