DaVinci

I certainly recognize the differences, but, if you were pointing that comment at me, I wouldn't say I'm bitter about it. Why are men the overwhelming majority of people who rob banks, stores, and gas stations? Couldn't it be argued that there is a biological drive for men to acquire resources, and that in some cases this drive is coming from the earlier developed parts of the brain that tend to act that drive out in a violent or aggressive manner? Isn't part of the issue now that it is not okay (by law) for men to just take what they want? 10,000 years ago if you wanted a shelter and the best boulder on the street you would just walk into your neighbors hut and smash his head open. You would get the resources , the woman, and make babies. Now that is frowned upon. Yet people still do it. Why? People commit crimes for resources, go to jail, get out, and go right back to committing crimes for resources. There must be a biological reason why. If suddenly basic makeup cost hundreds or thousands of dollars and we locked it up in vaults and heavily monitored areas, would women risk as much as men do to steal it? I think if you compare makeup for women to resources from men historically to currently, resources have gotten much harder to obtain and makeup has gotten easier to obtain. Couldn't it be argued that this is slowly destroying men, and thus (potential) fathers, and thus (potential) families?

I thought someone might bring up cars, but isn't that the conundrum? If you get a car then you don't need to get a car to show you have resources. But you can't just "go get a car" like you can go buy a tube of lipstick. You don't just walk down the BMW aisle and get a couple different colored BMW's for $20.

If men are primarily attracted to youth and beauty, and women are primarily attracted to resources/money then why do women get an entire department geared towards looking young and beautiful, but there is no "resources aisle" for men? I can't go into Walmart and pick up a tube of glossy green money. ...Well, I can, but that's called "theft". It seems like for men to get money, and thus resources, they have to work much harder comparable to the money and application time cost of makeup. Granted, some might say "every aisle is the resources aisle" or "men have it waaaayyyyy easier" but do they? I'd like to hear some thoughts on this. I haven't got my mind completely wrapped around these ideas and would like to hear some other perspectives.

I think what I'm looking for is some kind of an upward climb. A savings account that grows. Money to be able to invest. My own house that I owe no money on and isn't bound to any other person. etc. A forward momentum rather than just sort of staying afloat but never really gaining traction. I look back on past decisions that at the time I thought would give me that momentum, but they didn't and so I find myself basically in the same space. So in this case I think a "right move" would have probably been doing the thing which would have made me more independent and successful way sooner.

Thanks for the response! Some of those choices, like going to school, I was confident about. I saw people no smarter than me getting much better jobs than me because they had a degree. Not even a specialized degree. Just the fact that they had a degree put them above everyone else because a degree essentially meant you were responsible, intelligent etc. So that's something I didn't waver on. I didn't see a future in dead-end retail jobs or grueling work for low pay. The problem there is I look back and it hasn't paid off, in part because of how much college is government subsidized which has de-valued it tremendously. I would have been better off working my butt off and investing my money in gold. Maybe even panning for gold! Other choices I wasn't so confident about. Moving away from home was a scary prospect for me at 18. I wouldn't have known what to do. Not that I act completely irresponsible, but I do have a tendency to procrastinate on simple stuff and then make hasty decisions. I had a hard time paying bills when I was younger. I would get a bill and then just throw it in a pile of papers and eventually whatever it was would get sent to collections, even though I generally had the money to pay the bill, even if it took me down to zero. Something about paying the bill made me freeze up. I think I thought "well, if I pay this bill and drop to zero I can't do anything else. I can't have fun. I can't buy something I want. I can't improve my life. I can't save up. Nothing." There was a period where I was working to pay bills to get to work to pay bills, and I hated it. Looking back I think living at home after 18 enabled me to end up in that kind of a cycle. Though the alternative at the time with my lack of skills and education was 'get multiple jobs' to support my own place, but I might have become more independent quicker, even though I still would have been working to pay bills to get to work to pay bills in that scenario, which is why I look back on that decision (to stay at home) with more regret. I might have gained much more self confidence and independence in my abilities much sooner if I took the plunge to leave. Essentially I look back at all of my decisions and whether I was confident in them or not, none of my decisions seem to have payed off yet. It's like I can't see a direct correlation between making a decision and success. Or making a decision with a clear cut gain. I paid 5 dollars and got back 20. It's more like I'm just betting on black and hoping the wheel stops in my favor. There aren't any "right" or "correct" decisions. Just guesses and chance.

I know that it is easy to look back with clarity after the fact, but I find myself reflecting on the overwhelming majority of my big life decisions and thinking about how none of them were the right move. I should have moved out the day I turned 18 rather than waiting a few years. I should have gone to college earlier, or I shouldn't have gone at all. I should have distanced myself from my family much sooner than I did. etc. I certainly don't think anything is wrong with being critical of myself and my behavior, but I'm struggling with the sense of loss that is coming from looking back and realizing how far off my ideal path I wandered. Granted, I spent the first 18 years of my life with parents who didn't care and effectively drove me down a bad path that I have to correct for, but in that correcting it seems like I've made every terrible choice possible. Am I being too harsh on myself? I'm obviously still trying to get my life going in the direction I want, but is there a way to not get set into the "freeze" mindset because I now want to second guess every big decision? Does anyone else look back on their big decisions and think the same things as me? If not, how did you determine "That path I chose was the right one"?

What about something more basic or general, like describing someone as "happy"? If someone is smiling and laughing at a comedy t.v. show or something, wouldn't it be reasonable to say "they are happy"? Even if it is a conclusion, isn't it also sense data? Isn't it sense data that I can line up with my own knowledge of how those particular behaviors are expressed?

For example, if you describe someone as being "cynical" or "passive" then you are attempting to describe the behavior of someone else, but how do you know? Maybe a person described as passive is a little sleepy. Maybe a person described as cynical is just uninterested. Obviously you can ask, "Are you being cynical?", but then you are relying on that person to self report. If they are self reporting how can you gauge the accuracy of that? Are descriptions of behavior only for self reporting? Can you describe the behavior of someone else and ever be 100% correct in your description? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated!

Yeah, apparently those who want to challenge him go the front, most wait, and some never make it on.

Should the main measure of your relationship really be Stef or FDR, or You Tube videos? If she watches all the videos and goes "wow that Stef guy is awesome" but then isn't there for you when you need her to be, well, then sitting down to watch the videos together doesn't mean much does it? You described her as honest and courageous, etc. She either is or isn't those things. If she isn't those things then you don't need to sit down and try to get her to watch Stef videos. You just need to break up with her, right? Explain what the goal is to get her to watch these videos with you, or at all. If she goes "Yeah, those videos aren't for me" is that going to be a deal breaker?

Why did you bring that up? ------------------------------ @LeeGarrison I have no idea how good of a relationship you are in with this girl, even based on what you wrote here, but as for Stefan, I would recommend forgetting about him. He says things that are true, but he is just a guy, just like you are, and just like I am. I could say all the things Stef is saying and it wouldn't change the information. All that is important is the information. Your relationship with this girl is either good or it isn't. Spend the time you are spending listening to Stef with her instead. The Stef videos will still be here in a month or two months or six months. They aren't going anywhere. You aren't obligated to listen to them the moment they get posted. If she is really how you describe, courageous, honest, etc then why wouldn't you want to spend as much time with her as you could? Do you really think you should see her dislike of Stef as the ultimate measure of her? I dislike lots of things. It doesn't make me a bad person not worth being in a relationship with. Perhaps if you back off from the Stef videos for a while she will open up to you a bit more. No one can be open when they are backed into a corner.

Thanks for all the replies! @Wuzzums, i had never heard of loss aversion before. i'll keep that in mind @claiforniacoaster, same thing, I'll keep that in mind. That makes sense. @twinklingwinter I have done what you described before. Made a small game myself, then brought people in to play/develop it further. They bailed on me. I'm beginning to think what wuzzums said makes a lot of sense. Get a financial commitment up front so when people bail you at least get some sort of compensation. I'm tired of wasting precious time in collaborative projects with nothing to show for it. @aviet There are skills I have and things I can do, but I'm not sure how fruitful they will be right now. Maybe my skills will lead me to fortune. Maybe I'll be stuck in the same place. I think this is what is pushing me to do more than just one thing. I don't mind taking risks and going in full force on something, but I also know from past mistakes that I often have no safety net, or fall back plan. I'm usually betting it all on black. So far I've lost almost every bet I've made. Most of that is my mistake, as I've either headed projects with unreliable people, or involved myself in the projects of unreliable people. In either case, it's not like I have something monetarily going on in the background while feeling out those projects and if they fail I'm still good. A loss for me is huge. @scribbles I always try not to let my projects interfere too much with my relationships. If anything I see them as tools to make my relationships better. @cilantro I'm certainly not giving up and I am working towards a goal at the moment, but as I described above I'm frustrated that wrapping myself up entirely in a project, whether it is the head of that project, or as one team member, or possible even by myself, doesn't ever have a positive outcome. It's always this all or nothing scenario with no parachute, no net, and no safe landing. This will either work, or you will have wasted a ton of time and money and go back to zero. Granted that gives me a bit more drive to pick up and go again, but as I get older time is becoming more precious.

For example, I have about a dozen video game ideas that could be made into iPhone/android games, but I have no skills with programming, I don't anyone who knows how to code, and I don't have the money to pay anyone to code, and absolutely no one will work for free in the now for future rewards. It's not that I've never been part of a collaborative project, but every one I've ever been in ends the same way. People don't show up. Someone tries to "seize power". Someone becomes incredibly difficult to work with. Some people actively sabotage progress. People say they are onboard and then randomly quit. etc. I actually look at crowd funded projects and wonder "How did they get all those people to collaborate?" I've never been in a successful collaboration. Not once. The alternative seems to be clear. Do everything myself. In one sense, I'm cool with that, but that also seems to be a big risk as I can't be great at everything I want to do. Not that I have to do everything I want to do, but everything I could potentially do is going untapped. So even if I pour everything into something I can achieve by myself, and even if I succeed at that one thing, it seems like I'll never reach anything close to my full potential, and that is incredibly frustrating to me. Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, what did you do about it?

If nothing can be considered emotionally does that apply to everyone? If so, then even those on the left can't actually be considering things emotionally. So then what are they doing? Not doing a great job of rationally considering something? Also, isn't curiosity an emotion? Isn't curiosity the pre-cursor to rational consideration?

There has been a big focus from Stef on IQ, but I don't think IQ by itself is the most worthwhile thing to try to gauge when dealing with people.

I think the problem with You Tube is it is getting so big that it is getting harder for anyone to get noticed. At the same time there is so much content to choose from that if they don't try and figure out who is watching what and likes what then there will be no way to effectively monetize videos. Add to that the "problem" with "controversial topics", and companies not wanting to advertise their products in front of certain people and you have a recipe for disaster. I think You Tube has passed the peak of its height. At this point it is becoming an outdated model. I think in the next five years you will see people moving back to having their own independent websites for their content. Like geocities back in the day, but with much higher production values.

Thanks for the replies! If MGTOW allows someone to downsize their costs, and take more risks, then won't that risk taking either a.) payoff and be attractive to women who like risk taking men thus potentially moving you out of the MGTOW lifestyle, or b.) not pay off and keep you in the MGTOW lifestyle? Could MGTOW be a "reset button" for those who are looking for a romantic partner? If so, then why do so many see it as an end in itself, or as an escape from women?

From my own experience in this realm it seems unsustainable. In the same way that a division of labor creates more wealth it seems that the MGTOW lifestyle is the opposite. You have to do everything yourself, or at the very least accept that you can't do everything yourself and not even bother with certain activities like making your own food everyday, keeping your house clean, etc. Granted if you are rich, it might not be a problem, but for the already poor I think MGTOW compounds the problems that come with being poor. Does anyone else have some experience in this realm, or some thoughts on if MGTOW is something that actually works in the long term?

I'm fascinated by the subject and still trying to get a grasp on it so I'm going to watch potholer54's videos. What he said about Stefan in the video in the OP was irrelevant to me.

How do you know what company is a "free-market" company and what is a "crony" company if sometimes it could be either one? It seems like defaulting to saying "That's not necessarily the free market" isn't going to have much of an impact. Especially given the largely theoretical nature of how a free market now, or in the future would work.

I'm not seriously expecting you guys to create a dating website. Though I do find it interesting that you are getting all these e-mails from people who can't find a quality man. I think if I met a woman in real life who said "Yeah, I'm listening to these philosophy podcasts" that would certainly grab my attention.

And you aren't forwarding them to all us of why? Maybe we need a "Dating site" on FDR?

That's possible even when talking to people in person. If someone wants to "morally position" themselves I don't see how the medium changes anything.

If people aren't open to considering what you are saying then why would that change in person?