Existing Alternatives

I have not completely given up on Hollywood. I found the trick to be to actively watch the movies with the child and have an ongoing discussion about what is happening on the screen. Some of the questionable scenarios portrayed on the screen allow us to discuss and understand that, for example, violence is clearly is not the solution, that magic is not real, etc. Hollywood imagery is everywhere, so you can’t completely shelter the child from it, it is more productive to take it head on with a proper narrative. As far as more mainstream recommendations go, I would go with Shrek – lessons on self-reliance, judging the book by its cover and authority-defiance.

This makes sense, so the criteria for interference is more along the lines of age and whether or not violence is present, right. So, which age are you thinking? And also, at some point kids will be able to defend themselves against violence as well. For example, if a 15-year old is assaulted by another 15-yo and is more than capable to defend himself, should the parents interfere? I hear your point on friends and bosses, but what about other people who come to one's life uninvited, such as bullies? Also, could there be ways to toughen them up without being an a-hole yourself? Once again, your input is appreciated. I guess, I just don't know what that signal would be. As far as allowing to run to mommy - I agree the communication channels should always be open, but at some point the child should be encouraged to resolve their own problems and not rely on parents even for the most trivial of problems. And this problems could range from one kid accidentally stepping on another's foot to clear bully situations... December 2013 FDR22561 He definitely is not. To be fair, it was more of a smart-ass off-the-cuff remark that did not really go anywhere. But somehow it clicked with me and is really gnawing on my mind.

Fraud is theft. Without theft it would be just lying. It is nothing but a special case of theft. If we contrast the following two examples: Someone sticks a gun to your ribs and you hand over your wallet in full consent. You could, however, resist if you possess some super-crazy kung-fu skills. Someone lies to you (says, they are from UNICEF) and you hand over your wallet in full consent. You could resist if you are super-crazy smart and can see through their lies. Both situations result in the assailing party gaining your property. In both cases you make a choice whether to resist or hand over the wallet. The only difference is the weapon used and whether or not you immediately realise that you’ve been robbed.

This question actually comes from a recent interview Stefan did with Adam Kokesh. In which Adam issued a challenge, that peaceful parenting may end up in “weakening” the children (I am para-phrasing). But it struck me as a real possibility that a peaceful child may end up unprepared to deal with the horrors of the real world. Bullies come in all shapes and forms and are as destructive at the age of 5 as at 50. It feels like we are missing an opportunity to “toughen” them up somehow. Not sure if that is the same thing, but I am trying to “draw the line” between parental interference (not authority) and child’s independence (i.e. absence of interference).

His main feeling was about being unjust: Everybody heard something he did not say. Nobody laughs at him at home, so it was a new experience. He was not hurt or anxious or fearful. I think I understand his feelings as we did talked quite a bit about it. Although, I will delve more into the experience, as you suggest. My concern now is the next step: what to do if this happens again...

I appreciate your concern. The reason for multiple questions is that new thoughts come to mind as I process this. I don't think he is primed or targeted yet, but at the same time I do want to pre-empt his possible victimization. The question that I struggle here is when is "such time", or how do you determine such time...

Fraud is theft by lying. Failure on a contract could be caused by whole slew of reasons.

When I was growing up, “running to mommy” (i.e. complain, rat, etc.) was perhaps the deadliest of the sins on the playground. As a parent, I do recognize that there is room for a reference to authorities in children’s interactions. For example, if a 15 year old bully harasses a bunch of 5 year olds – that should clearly result in a call for parents. However, I feel that a lot of times kids should be left to themselves to figure out their differences. And, hopefully learn to figure them out. I don’t want to have my 20 year old kid to expect me to solve his a-hole boss problems. My struggle is, where I draw that line. Are there any clear guideposts?

Fraud, in my understanding, is “lying with benefits,” with lying being the main part. Not fully understanding the transaction or not going out of one’s way to explain the transaction is one thing, but deliberately misleading the other side is something completely different. For example, including pages upon pages of fine print into the contract to make it less understandable is not savory (and one should never enter a contract they don’t fully understand). However, stating on the front page in huge font, “YOU WILL GET YOUR MONEY TOMORROW” and having never repay is lying and is fraud. The value of anything is subjective. The bracelet is clearly worth less than $20 to the first guy. But it could be worth $1,000s to the broker.

Awesome! Thank you.

Thank you all for responses and support. Just to clarify, this was not a bully-type of situation – everyone thought he said something funny, which apparently he did not, and laughed. Interestingly enough, over the last two years in public school (no more!) he never had any issues with bullying, which I partially attribute to the fact that he has a sturdy safety net at home. We are all out peaceful parents and there is plenty of support and empathy. My question is more along the lines of what’s next. What is he supposed to do, when everyone’s laughing, how to react? Personally, as an adult, I don’t know what to do in such a situation. The point on making mistakes and acknowledging them is well taken and will be worked on. As far as destructive environment is concerned, I don’t think it is quite the case. For that matter, we have specifically selected this school to be as close to freedom ideas as possible. Clearly not as perfect as home schooling, but very well balanced. We are in the process of meeting all the parents and seeing no red flags.

Huge co-sleeping fan here! Worst thing we ever did was to “train” our 18 month old to sleep in his own room. Then we discovered all the benefits of co-sleeping (and none for the alternative) and never looked back. He is now 5. He slept in his own room for a short period around 4.5, but always came back in the middle of night. He says he will move to his room at 6.

A child comes home from school (first grade) all upset because he “said something wrong and kids were laughing at him”. What do you do as a parent? How do you manage it? My old self would have said, “go for the knees”, but we don’t do violence. What is the proper approach?

Came across these two interesting articles on the subject. The comment section is even better than the article itself. http://wasioabbasi.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/never-force-left-handed-child-to-be-right-handed/ http://www.anythinglefthanded.co.uk/children/changing-left-to-right.html

This is brilliant. Although, in some of his podcasts on feminism I would not be surprised if this is accurate.

This is horrible! Sorry to hear you went through this. Hopefully in today's world keyboard typing normalises some of this pain...

A lighter perspective on the subject from Cracked (one of my most favourite non-philosophical websites). Interestingly enough, the lefties are much likelier to have schizophrenia (among many other negative things), which apparently is caused by “confusion between the two halves of the brain.” Now, what happens when that “confusion” is further confused by “the correction procedure.”

This is excellent! So, there is still hope. Clearly, I try to create as positive example for my child as possible. If I understand your point correctly, not everyone who was aggressed against becomes a libertarian, so many who was not aggressed against may become one.

The kids for sure will be more mentally free than their parents. But the parents are still authority. They might not be "bad" authority, but authority nonetheless. Perhaps, in the same way a dentist is an authority as far as teeth are concern. The concern is for all the authority to be perceived as a rational and not expect the proverbial "gun in the room"

Just for jokes type this into Google: Tax Police Russia ...and you thought an audit by IRS was stressful...

I am making my way through Stef’s old podcasts. I think I heard him say something along the lines that the main reason why many of us are libertarians is our early experience with the authority (i.e. parents) and resulting mistrust towards authority. I could be misconstruing something, but if this is true, what is going to happen to our kids? We create this very rational environment for them, where they are very comfortable with authority. Wouldn't that steer them away from libertarianism as the result? How do we ensure that they “stay their parents’ course”? What are your thoughts?

So, what happens in the direct democracy structure when 51% of the voters decide to enslave the remaining 49%? What would preclude them from doing that?

You already have very good advice above. But I wanted to add something from the perspective of someone who was in the situation like yours and did nothing about it… You can’t underestimate the value of enthusiasm in a workplace. The moment it starts slipping, it will reflect everywhere and eventually be your undoing. If you feel that you should be doing something bigger and better (like your own business), you will never be as enthusiastic about your job as you should be. If you do not take the plunge and continue your “unenthusiastic” course, you will be out of the job very soon. Worse, if you wait longer, you may be getting involved in a relationship and have kids. At that point, starting a business will be a lot harder, given the amount of financial, time and mental sacrifice it will require. If you do take the plunge, and (likely) fail, three years later you will walk right back into your old job, and maybe on a higher level, given your newly acquired experience. Good luck!

The biggest challenge for most parents is the finances. If you have means to do this – you owe it to your future self! For that matter, if you don’t have the means, it may be even advantageous to borrow to take the time off. It sounds like you are in a situation where this can be done with very little impact on your career. Most companies will be willing to afford you a sabbatical of sorts or a leave of absence after 14 years of service with your job waiting for you when you get back. It sounds like you are burning out and need a break anyhow. So, this will be worth it on more than one level. While you are thinking about this, it would be worth it approaching your boss or HR department and inquire about sabbatical / LOA policies. The main value, of course is your ability to play in immediate role in your kids’ foundational years. You simply can’t put a price on that. What’s your career worth 20 years down the road, if you don’t have a meaningful relationship with your kids? Best of luck!

What I mean by this is this... When I engage my friends on these topics, I sometimes recommend some further reading, be it Stefan, Rand, Browne, or what have you. If you were to do the same, what would you recommend to your friends? This is not an argument, just a question. I actually would like to be able to both share it with my Russian-speaking friends, and perhaps read it myself, especially if it is home-grown.