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prolix

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Posts posted by prolix

  1. I think the art of communication itself is just as important as any of the subjects we communicate about. RTR and NVC are powerful starting points, but it really comes home when you have a good amount of self-knowledge in practice. To me I just keep focused on win-lose vs. win-win ways of framing ideas for communication. Calling someone a "dick" or calling their behavior "crap" are win-lose from an emotional point of view. Regardless of what they are really doing they lose if they submit to this kind of criticism. However calling someones behavior "unproductive" and other neutral terms is more win-win because everyone wins if we recognize and correct unproductive behavior. Heh, food for thought I guess...

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  2. I think these boards could use some more directness instead of this under-the-table kicking that often goes on under the guise of rational discourse. I could use more flowery terms and project a sense of maturity or civility but that would give a false impression; In truth, his repetition and persistent lack of awareness is beginning to grate on me, and the long-winded denials and deftly-executed logical manuevering is exhausting to read. I would prefer overt aggression to the sublimated hostility in his posts...

    I actually agree 100%. I am actually surprised that our roles are not reversed given here both of our post histories. Normally I take the position you have. But I do respect the counterpoints I get that go something like this. "Yes, be direct, but you can be nice while doing it".....

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  3. I gotta say. I have had very similar interactions with dsayers; A simple disagreement became very personal very quick. This appears to be a pattern for him. In my instance I called dsayers out for various inconsistencies and he went and made a separate thread about it which basically was a passive-aggressive attack. That said...

     

    "His sarcastic statements are crap, and he was being a dick to Kevin. I'm not going to sugarcoat it."

     

    No need to sugar coat it, yes. But is there a less confrontational way to express your experience? I think so...

  4. Take the money and have gay sex in their bed when they are at church...

    Can anyone explain to me why I got 2 negs and no counterpoints for this post? It was a joke. The joke being an extreme summary without context in contrast to my previous post which was, er, quite verbose on the subject. So somebody just came and dropped a neg without telling me why that deserves a neg. How is that neg-worthy? Why would you neg and not explain yourself?

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  5.  

     

     

    (1) You never told us that you were a life-long comic and artist.  (If I'm wrong, please correct me.)  If you had, you would've gotten more empathy (from me at least....can't speak for the board). 

     

     

     

     

    I don't understand why you would withhold empathy in regards to my personal situation. Can you clarify why that makes much of a difference? Why would you not be "more empathetic" simply because you didn't have this one piece of information? Your statements after regarding how you would treat a struggling artist different than a successful artist only pile on the confusion for me...

     

    It's certainly possible that he'll become a sensation, and I'll look foolish when someone adds my post to his facebook wall - but until then, I feel perfectly comfortable with my assumption that both the video-creator and the OP were trolls. 

    Ok, if you want to make personal assumptions about people, fine. But I think that is contrary to logic and reason. Where is the evidence and the logic of it, IO see it not, I see however that you are pretty comfortable making negative assumptions about people despite what they have presented you. I personally do not think this is the board for that and I do not think it is productive or empathetic...

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  6. 1. I did address it and apologized for name calling. (post #47).

     

    2. Does that change anything? If not, then it's interesting to me that you would mention it.

     

    3. I've changed my position and approach based on new information. You haven't.

     

    4. What kind of a person manipulates people with passive aggressive appeals to shame like "I'm super disappointed"? Well, someone who, when they were wounded by disappointing events in their past, were humiliated for for provoking someone else's anxiety about your disappointment. And instead of dealing with it, you take it out on other people by occupying simultaneously the disappointed child and the cruel caregiver who humiliated you. You have to distort reality by projecting to avoid your own trauma. Unfortunately, you want to tear down everybody else for triggering this complex, and so I don't feel sympathy, but resentment.

     

    5. But my understanding of psychology is obviously amatuer. Somebody who knows better is absolutely welcome to correct me.

     

    6. We can falsify my claim by learning how your disappointment was handled when you were young and if you were treated with lots of respect, your preferences honored and invited and all of that. I could be wrong for sure. Let me know if I am.

    1. Yes, you did. and I can appreciate that. but I was referring to my post that you were responding to. That was the point of my post. So obviously that didn't apply to you. good for you, you are the minority. But you replied to my post and didn't reference the main point of my post.

     

    2.Yes, that is significant. there is a change if you attack someone and then apologize and recognize it. Again, good for you being the one of two people who retracted their overt attacks.

     

    3. What is my position? And why would I change it? I have yet to see a compelling argument for that.

     

    4.When I tell you how I feel truthfully, and explain why, you can try and characterize it as a "shame attempt" but that is really leaving me out of the discussion and dehumanizing to me. I am not present, or I don't feel present, because I know I had no shaming intentions.. I didn't try and shame anyone for my experience. So calling it passive aggressive is just an unfounded assumption about my intentions. and that is my point here. Intentions mean something. If you go the the video creators channel, he is 100% libertarian and possibly anarchist. His intention was clearly artistic and aesthetic. not philosophical and academic. So spare me the attempting to be like stef and being an uninvited physiologist. Like many children I was not empathized with and listened to. Having grown up and perused self knowledge I am acutely aware of when I am not being empathized with. I am genuinely disappointed in this community on topics like this. I see the same posters that disappoint me here on other subjects in other threads and I am glad they post here and really respect their posts. but I must speak my mind on this issue.

     

    5.Yet you tried to emulate stefan so fervently to try to characterize me 3 ways from Wednesday.

     

    6. No you are not wrong, in the sense that, yes, our childhoods are where our adult dysfunction stems from. I get it. ButI have been in therapy and look forward to more and relish in self-knowledge that is derived from FDR and therapy. But what you have to understand is this. I am a comic and a musician and a life long artist. That is what is really being triggered. People that do not understand art and the artistic process bring a lot of unnecessary grief upon those that do. So maybe, probably, definitely, I am triggered by that.

     

    Likewise. I had, and still have, very high expectations of this community. I barely agree with the OP in how he handled himself. 

    And had the rest of the community not responded so negatively and poorly, I would have joined in guiding him towards more self knowledge. But I had to defend him, I just had to. I take full responsibility for my high expectations, maybe unrealistically high, I take responsibility for them as best I can.

     

    I stand by every post I made in this thread and honestly do not feel compelled by counterpoints and criticisms of my posts. I explained why I felt like that every step of the way. I just ask that aspects of this community assess the way they converse with those they disagree with. Name calling and digging into that someone "seems" to be saying is the kind of stuff I get from statists all the time, so I recognize it when I see it. and yes, possibly ignore it when I do it, it happens. And I think it happened here a lot by many posters simply because of minor disagreements. I mean, this is the most trivial topic I can think of, a comedy video, and that is my point. I defend FDR and drive people here all the time because this is the kind of place that has a strong emphasis on effective communication. And mostly that is what this board provides. But there is an aspect of "echo chamber" effect where slight dissent, devils advocate, and personal preference are treated like full blown statism. A sort of "keeping score" team mentality arises, even in the very place where it is the least likely by design like here, no matter how hard we try. People get invested and things get personal.

     

    Now you are going at it in a healthy way. You are making it personal from first principles and modern psychology. But to do that amateur and with "score keeping" personal intentions and motivations is not up to the expectations and guidelines of this community. I do feel that this happened here and I explained honestly how I came to that feeling...

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  7. Are you saying "Super disappointing" on every comment on purpose?

    Well that is how I feel. Is that ok with you? Is this a safe place?

    This is a very antagonizing statement. As have most of your posts in this thread. Like you're lashing out.

     

    Do you need to revisit your own disappointment over and over again until it gets resolved somehow? Until everyone apologizes and says the video is indeed benign? Until you are appreciated for sticking in there and letting everyone know how defensive they are? Until your self sacrifice of getting all those downvotes is appreciated?

     

    Seriously, what are you looking for?

     

    There are more healthy ways of dealing with disappointment.

     

    Also, if you're the one downvoting benign replies in this thread simply because they belong to people who've said things you really didn't like, then that is petty in exactly the same respect you are accusing others of. And reactive and defensive in exactly the respect you accuse others of.

     

    It's often a trap when you accuse others of things because you might grant yourself permission to do those things in retaliation, but that's just a confession of your own self loathing when you do that. How much you hate the people you openly condemn is just you talking about yourself.

    Funny how you managed to not respond to the attacks that were sent to the poster. You speculated about stuff. Read way too far into stuff, but at no point did you actually address the point. The guy was attacked and called names. Again, super disappointing...

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  8. Video was funny. Not to all, but it was funny. It was an artistic expression. Not to leave well enough alone. A lot of posters couldn't just say it was not funny. They had to attack the guy who posted it. Super disappointing...

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  9. The room has terrible acoustics, and the phantom power on my input is kind of crap so the gain kills the sound quality. :(

    I gotta 2nd shirgall. But I think your phantom power is not working at all. That is how it sounds to my ears. I have the exact same mic and I can tell you. Even if the room is complete shit for acoustics, that is not the effect you should get from that mic at all. It sounds like since your phantom power is not working, then you are basically using a large diaphragm condenser like a stage dynamic mic and then adding gain in post. Check your DI settings or consider getting another DI or even getting a preamp or a dedicated phantom power supply. Wow, I am a real psycho about audio stuff. Hope that is helpful, but I am sure you want this thread to be about your content. So I hate to be annoying about it. But I know, maybe you have this experience too, I trust and relate to someone more on youtube when they have put in the effort to have good production quality. Like when I see a video from a laptop mic/camera I just know that what usually follows is poor content. It is just my prejudice I suppose. But I have noticed that people who take care in the production department also take care of the content department. Every-time I feel like I am dumber after watching a video I always say to myself "you saw the red flags" and poor production is almost always the first red flag...

  10. "efficient political" is a contradiction in terms.

     

    Violence is inefficient in the long term. So nothing that is political can be described as efficient.

     

    Even if politics were not violent, it would be inefficient since there's now a 3rd party in a two party transaction. This means you're not only paying for the product/service, but also the administration overhead.

     

    It sounded as if the person who was asking the question was trying to make freedom fit into the current container of violence. You can't fault him for that. We're so used to the State being present in so many aspects of our lives, it can be challenging to imagine what it would look like outside that paradigm.

    I think you are conflating "political" with the state and current government. You can be political in a personal and private setting as well. I think a free society will have politics. Maybe it is just semantics. But I think the incentive to be politic transcends a state society and a free society...

     

     

    Politics (from Greek: πολιτικός politikos, meaning "of, for, or relating to citizens") is the practice and theory of influencing other people on a global, civic or individual level. More narrowly, it refers to achieving and exercising positions of governance — organized control over a human community, particularly a state.

     

    You could read that as, yes, politics is the state. Or you could read that as politics is part of governance. The distinction between governance and government. And because most people are statists, the wiki reflects that and conflates politics and governance with the state. Sure the word has gotten a bad wrap, but I don't think politics is exclusive to the state. Office or Family politics come to mind....

  11. It is a very interesting question. On one hand you have a point, it is dishonest. But on the other-hand it is grossly neglectful of the parents to put the child in this situation. So which is a more egregious offense, a little white lie that was kind of imposed upon you? Or gross neglect of a parental responsibility? 

     

    The parent is initiating the hostility in this instance and the child is responding to it. Now if you are 30 years old and you are receiving funds from parents, that is one thing, you are not a child, at least physically. But if you are 19 and off to college. I will give that a pass. And the 19 year old will, usually, become an independent entity after college. I am going to compare this to a child who is responding to abuse. No matter what the child does it is still just a response to abuse, to a certain extent. If forcing your hand on a child is abuse, and forcing religion on a child is abuse then forcing bigotry is also abuse.

     

    Now obviously the child should seek support and consider an exit strategy. But that is a decision they have to make for themselves. More extreme, but it is the same for everybody, you have to compare your values and make the decisions that are right for you. Everyone's specific cases are different.

     

    Now imagine it was a workplace, like the movie Philadelphia. Most anarchists know what it is like to keep a lid on views and attitudes of politics to keep their job. And I think this is also still pretty regular for gay people and even some atheists. It is all about weighing your options. Much like anarchists pay taxes. It is a response to NAP violations of the state tax "system". Anarchists are not being disingenuous when they are paying taxes, no, they are responding to the initiation of force with all things considered. Cost vs. benefit.

     

    In short, no. Fuck the parents, they are bigots and they would have supported you if they were not bigots. They set aside college money and withhold it because of bigotry, that is the genesis of the situation and the choices of the parent. A child does not have to take responsibility for the irrational bigotry of the parent except in so far as healing themselves from the damage of being subjected to the bigotry of the parents...

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  12. Starting off with the sky ghosts and then dropping the hammer of logic and reason about the state on him right afterwards would be entertaining 

    But it would be dishonest of FDR to blindside him with it, would it not? Talk about argumentation and standards of evidence for a 1/2 hour then turn the same skepticism and logic on the state. So, if they gave him the heads up, then he would just prepare liberal talking points and it would be less-entertaining. I would blindside him with it, myself. but somehow I feel like FDR and Stefan would not want to do that...

  13. It strikes me as a very passive aggressive APP and posture to take with your children.

     

    Now, you do not have to have your kids respect you, or actually want to talk to you, you can force them to talk to you with this handy technology and $2.99 at the google store. As opposed to being concerned as to why your child would not want to talk to you, you are out installing/inventing APPs to make up for your parental shortcomings.

     

    This reminds me of the dad that shot his child's laptop...

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  14. I don't think bullying means what you think it means. The bulk of interactions in this thread weren't about the video, so suggesting it's due to the content of the video is misguided.

    He didn't "suggest" anything of the sort. He was telling you how he felt very clearly. Not very empathetic to just put words in peoples mouths at the expense of what they are clearly telling you they feel. You are calling into question his understanding of a basic thing without any clarification, so it is a veiled insult. Again, not very nice, not very empathetic guy. They were barbs at the poster, you are right, the majority of the posts were not about the video, they were bullying the poster. It is all there to read...

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  15. When I was 19 I thought that fun was for losers.

     

    I think the members of this forum take things very seriously - which has both it's advantages and disadvantages. 

     

    What I see here is people treating an aesthetic issue with all the seriousness of a moral issue.

    This.

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  16. Can you identify anybody in the history of man that has made such a claim? Joining just to post this raises suspicions.

    Yea, well when the guy posts a comedy video and he get's personally attacked, while he is apologizing. Then I do think an evaluation of seriousness levels need to be made...

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