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Hey, Joel. Thanks for sharing; this was quite helpful, especially since I have no shortage of "get it right the first time!" voices hollering at me whenever I go about my daily activities. There is no shortage of denigrating/lecturing/know-it-all parts in my mecosystem, and seeing these children interact with one another without any criticism or belitting is something I'd like to model for my inner self. It's funny how we can glean valuable stuff from something like a VHS tape that a parent pops into the VCR to keep their little one occupied.

Rainbow Jamz, I don't even recall the stuttering, but if you did stutter, your expressed thoughts were intelligible enough for me not to notice. As far as your advice goes, I'm still not quite sure that recording myself talk will be of help in dealing with my paranoia. Indeed, it'll help me detect verbal ticks and irrational thoughts and so on, but I don't think it'll do anything to dim the spotlight that I put on myself when I'm around others. I still want to know why it helped you; if you could provide some more specifics, I'd appreciate it. Did you come to the realization, after having listened to yourself speak, that you don't sound as silly or irrational (or whatever else) as you thought you did? If so, did coming to that realization allay some of the anxiety you have whenever you are around others?

Adding that to my list of quotes worth tattooing onto my forehead. I'm starting to get a lot of space up there (my forehead, that is), and it's time to start substituting the disappearing follicles with truth bombs. Yours might be right on top. First. Best. Yeah. I can't expect to have everyone agree with what I think and believe. Whenever I hear someone say something that I do not agree with, I don't jump to, "Okay, now we are not friends. Now I do not like you as much. Now I want to distance myself from you." It seems as though I have a double-standard going on. I allow others to make mistakes, but not myself.

Matrix, great set of questions! Let me try and answer them. I'm having difficulty knowing how to answer this one. Do you mean, is the paranoia that you are experiencing someone else's paranoia? If so, who else could be the source of my paranoid feelings? How could I conceivably know if my paranoid feelings weren't mine? I have heard Stef tell listeners who call into his show that "that feeling that you are experiencing at this moment is not yours, it's your mother's (or father's, etc.)"; and every single time I hear Stef say something along those lines, I get this incredible desire to want to know more about how Stef knows that that is the case--it's a truth bomb i'm sure, but it still hasn't registered in my brain. I actually spoke to one of the individuals whom I thought I weirded out. I told him what his thoughts were about what I had said in the group chat to him and everyone else, and he responded with it being a non-issue for him--that it didn't bother him; he also recommended I try understanding where the paranoia came from. So yeah...I was pretty relieved once I got the assurance from him that what I had said wasn't something that wanted him to step the hell away from me. It's just that I do not know if that is the case for the other folks in that particular group chat. Dude, Matrix, this question is one of those cutting-through-the-matrix-esque questions. I have no way of knowing how to approach this one; seems to be way over my head at the moment. Any advice on how you explore whether or not your feelings have anything to do with your true feelings? I don't think so, but a few of these folks have mentioned to me that they have had problems with being really self-conscious in the past. I hardly get the impression that they are self-conscious until they tell me that they were, say, worried about bringing up topic XYZ. I think it'd be worthwhile for me to ask them how they, for the most part, overcame this problem of theirs; and what they do when they catch themselves falling back into that hyper-self-conscious state. Free as in, are they financially independent of their (crappy) parents? If that's what you meant, then no. Many are still rely on their parents financially, but all who still are recognize the nature of their relationship with their parents. In other words, they do not delude themselves that the relationship is a healthy one when it is not. They tell it like it is. I'd like to know why this question is an important one to answer. I'm sure that it is, otherwise you wouldn't have asked it, but I want to know what made you ask this question. I think I gave you a whole bunch of non-answers; or answered with questions lol. I'm eager to read your reply, Matrix. I really want to tackle all the questions you asked me which I still haven't sufficiently answered.

So folks, I seem to have this problem which I believe is causing folks to want to distance themselves from me, and the problem is that of being far too paranoid about how I come across to others. And by that, I mean: "Oh my god, did what I just say offend you? Oh my god, was what I just said irrational? Oh my god, etc. etc. etc." For instance, I will say something to a group of folks I am starting to develop a good friendship with, and then, after re-reading what I said to them, believe that what was said to be lacking of any boundaries. Then I proceed in asking them what they thought about what I had just said, and I do this in an unreasonably anxious fashion. What seems to result, and this could just be the same paranoid part of me coming to this conclusion, is that the folks I am chatting with get nettled, and that they want to take a step back from building a friendship with me. So yeah...I really really really want to get rid of this and would like to know if any of ya'll have had similar issues with being overly concerned with what others think of you. How did you come to understand this paranoid part? What did you do to rid yourself of this undesirable character trait? Thanks for reading, folks! Any advice is greatly appreciated.

I'm 26 minutes in. This is great guys! Thanks for sharing, Ivan.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse than that, the next subject that she speaks of is spanking and how useful it can be when it comes to raising your children properly. That woman disgusts me. That crowd as well...

You're the man Kevin!

Thank you Kevin! How I feel about your contribution to this board really cannot be put in words. Thank you thank you thank you!

LovePrevails, As Carl mentioned earlier, upgrading your mic to improve the sound quality of your videos might be an investment that will pay off. I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. I have had the pleasure of watching a handful of your videos and have very much enjoyed them; I love the topics and your presentation style. I wouldn't change much else; you're unique, and the accent and cool hair add to your uniqueness.

My goodness, my situation pretty much mirrors yours in nearly all regards. I am 22 years of age; 100% dependent on my father; have no skills to merit getting a job in any place other than some minimum wage one (I guess sitting in a classroom for 6 hours a day for the past 15+ years of one's life won't help one develop many skills); spend much of my time in solitude (I claim that it is by choice, but I'm not sure if I am being honest with myself); and am currently attending undergraduate school, loathing every minute of it and doing poorly as a result. The apathy towards school has reached the point to where I don't show up to any of my classes any longer and instead do my own form of learning in the library. I am not sure how I want to live out my life. I mean, I know I want to live simply, so I can afford myself the latitude to learn and grow as a person--study the 7 liberal arts, develop a solid foundation of understanding in the field of philosophy, and so on. But as far as knowing how this can be done--getting out of the rat race (I'm not even sure if this is realistic)--that is wholly another issue--an issue which, should I find the answer to it, would liberate me unlike any other. To say that I am confused is an understatement. Mortified may be a better word. Anyway, pardon the discursive rant; I didn't mean to hijack your thread--just wanted to let you know that there are others out there in the same boat.