There is an interesting notion here. Are we talking about the love of wisdom or Psychology? I myself would be very wary of using Philosophy in relationships. Philosophy seeks truth, wisdom and ways of life. What you describe is more like therapy, counseling or relationship dynamics. For example, I wouldn't recommend a Nihilist to relate to anyone other than himself. Quite a destructive being. But practically relating to people. . . in a philosophic way. . . Let me think a bit. Ok. If we are to talk about the quality of how we relate "not the relationship" to others, we must first talk about responsibility. I am responsible for my actions because I experience the world from my body. I can't say I control my body since "control" presumes absolute control since the word is not qualified. We all know we don't have absolute control over our bodies and recent research tells us our unconscious processes make decisions before our consciousness is aware a decision is even to be made! So control is out. So I'm responsible for my actions since I'm experiencing the world in my body (closed nervous system with potentially nonlocal consciousness). So, I'm responsible for me and the other is responsible for themselves. I can't say I'm resposible for myself and then give someone else the responsibility of being in charge of how I feel. I am responsible for how I feel and the other person should have no part in making sure they are "making" me happy or whatever the case may be. And they are in charge of how they feel so I am relieved of the responsiblity for the maintenance of their feelings. The relating bit comes in when the other is aware of the condition of how we feel. Out of concern, love, hate, obnoxiousness, generocity, compassion (superiority sometimes) they may attempt to influence the level of comfort we are experiencing (pillow, cup of tea, foot massage etc) in order to let the other person have space and time to sort themselves out. Speaking to each other about their feelings is a great way of learning about the other. Conversations can be made regarding any questions, confusions or clarifications needed. But it is not anyone's responsibility to be in charge of anyone else's feelings. Even if we use the word influence. "Well when you called me a 'twat', that made me feel bad". Great! They may work out some ideas around better communications practices but it would be of the highest prioritiy of that person to vanquish their emotional response to that particular word. Otherwise, you live in a world destined to provoke you at any instance. So there's a personal hygenic property to responsibility. You are responsible for your actions and feelings. Do you wish to give the world responsibility over your feelings? You can't but they can still provoke you. That's why it's imperative to be as hygenic as possible in terms of triggers and semantic responses. This elictis liberation and freedom of expression in my opinion.