Rayne

Yeah, don't they say that circumcision reduces the chance of getting HIV? You know what works to prevent getting HIV? Not having sex with someone with HIV! It's so crazy that the "medical" solution to that problem is mutilating babies! WTF!!!

This is sick! http://news.yahoo.com/florida-court-able-force-three-old-boy-circumcised-172302789.html

I don't think there is a feud between Laurette Lynn and Dayna Martin. I think the issue is the exposure of Dayna Martin as a fraud who plagiarizes other people's work and charges for her services as an expert consultant when she is not.

Have you read The Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel? It might help. He has a section that talks about the "upstairs brain" vs. the "downstairs brain" which you might find interesting regarding emotional self-control. I think you should do whatever is best for your family. You said that you were in marriage counseling. Is that solely because of this issue? Because if this is getting in the way of you having a happy marriage then that may be affecting your son more than being left at daycare. (Or not, just a thought) And, in my opinion, the preschool teachers should be fine with you staying as long as you like. Just so long as you don't get in the way. We had our son going to an early learning center (glorified daycare) 2 days a week for about a year and a lot of the time he wouldn't want me to go so I would sit with him during circle time, usually 10-15 minutes, and I wasn't the only parent who did that. Does he cry when you are both entering the school or only when you turn to leave him? If it's the latter then you're not forcing him to go to school, you're just forcing him to cope with you leaving which is a skill he will need to develop at some point right? I don't know. After the year of daycare I quit my job and we switched to a preschool that was only 3 hrs, 2 days a week and they wanted us to drop kids off and leave right away for a "smooth and quick transition." The second week I took him to school be was crying as soon as I pulled up, and grabbing at the door, and did NOT want to go in. So, I withdrew him from school and we went home. I was not going to force him to go if he didn't want to. I will say that the crying at the first school was different than the second school. You know your son best. If going to preschool is really traumatic for him, don't force it. If it's just because you're leaving him then I'm sure as he feels more comfortable with his new teachers he won't need you there for as long of a transition.

I think the author is not Dayna Martin bashing as much as she is expressing concern for the dogmatic black and white thinking of Radical Unschooling. Now this person is Dayna Martin bashing: http://ramblingsofamagickalhousewife.blogspot.com/2013/08/do-you-still-believe-in-dayna-martin.html

This article is from Laurette Lynn's website. It is a source for libertarian parents. Forcing your 2 year old to have their teeth brushed is not threatening violence. Parenting is not so black and white.

http://thelivingfreeproject.com/time-to-rethink-radical-unschooling/ This article really spoke to me. It is really fricking hard to parent a high-energy toddler while worrying constantly about being authoritarian. I don't hit or yell at my child but I do force him to buckle his seatbelt and brush his teeth. And I beat myself up over it! Here are some excerpts from the article:

I'm so sorry you had that experience. You sound like a very caring parent and I'm sure your daughter will not have that experience whether you tell her about Santa or not.

Here's another unschooler blogging about Dayna Martin and the entry is from this week: http://www.jennifermcgrail.com/2013/10/its-not-personal-its-business-my-dealings-with-dayna-martin/?fb_source=pubv1

Funny! I was going to call in to the show yesterday about this topic but my husband and I figured it out so I didn't need to. My concern was that I didn't want to lie to our son (2 1/2) about Santa because Santa does not exist (neither does god but we don't go to church so we don't have to breach that one yet). My husband's concern was that our son would be that kid telling all of his friends that Santa isn't real and therefore ruining everyone's fun. He said that believing that Santa is a guy living at the north pole with flying reindeer is on par with looking for gnomes and fairies on a nature walk. Neither is real but the stories are fun! I then told him that when I go for walks with our son we don't look for dinosaurs (he's really into dinosaurs), we look for dinosaur bones because that is more realistic. Anyway, for the Santa issue we decided that we wouldn't tell him that Santa was fake but we wouldn't make a big deal out of it either. Using the "Santa is watching you" manipulation was never even a consideration. We decided that if our son asks if Santa is real we will ask him "what do you think?" and go from there. The one thing we haven't agreed on yet is that I want to have the mystery gifts that appear Christmas morning to not say "from Santa" and just leave them blank. As for Halloween, last year our son was too young to go house to house but he had a really fun time answering the door and handing out candy. He wore skeleton pajamas. It was also a really great way to meet our neighbors as we had just moved to the neighborhood. This year we are going to the event in town where the local businesses host kid's activities and a bouncy house. Then the day after halloween the YMCA has an exchange where you can trade candy for stickers and toys (free market for kids!). I don't think it's so bad to dress up as your favorite character or animal. I think it's a lot of fun! I mean, Comicon would not be the same if no one dressed up as their favorite character!

From this blog post, I assume that she wouldn't be interested: http://laurettelynn.blogspot.com/2013/07/all-i-know-about-ru-drama.html?m=1 Also, this all happened months ago. I just came upon it during my unschooling/homeschooling research.

This is just awful! It's like finding out that your fitness guru gets lipo regularly. Or when Lance Armstrong came clean about doping... There is so much in the Clearinghouse! A lot of hating going on for sure but also a lot of facts and anectodal evidence. Here is a blog post from Laurette Lynn from May 5th regarding false accusations by Dayna Martin: http://laurettelynn.blogspot.com/2013/07/public-allegations-draft.html

xelent, what a great clip! Such a powerful performance! I do, however, think there is more than gossip here. I was really bothered by the personal story about Dayna Martin. First, because of the behavior described in the blog post (especially around children), but second that someone would feel the need to tell the story publicly. So I read the whole blog (entries 1-11). Including the comment sections. And then I went to the Clearinghouse on Facebook and skimmed the gathered material. One post that stood out to me and I read the thread in full was titled "Preaching what one does not practice" and posted on July 28th. The stories struck me as similar to when Stefan has described his mom as "turning a switch" from being verbally abusive to him and then answering the phone with a happy, normal voice. I think this "Dayna Martin is a fraud" story bothers me so much because it reminds me of my mom. She was always telling everyone about what a great parent she was and she was very loving, interactive and supportive to other people's kids but at home she would spend all day locked in her room while my brother and I sat in the living room and watched the shadows move slowly across the carpet. So, maybe my personal baggage makes me biased, but I believe the blogger and I feel for the families affected (including the Martin kids).

I found the article at http://thelivingfreeproject.com/ which is founded by Laurette Lynn. Laurette is a home education advocate whom Stef has had on his show. The Clearinghouse on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/414499508667539/members/ was created by Sandra Dodd who has been an unschooling advocate for many years. http://sandradodd.com/

But did you look at those articles side by side? It's not like she borrowed a phrase or two. If one is in ownership of the fruits of their labor (i.e. a written work) wouldn't plagiarism be theft regardless of whether the parties in question make money from the work?

I came across this article today and... I'm speechless. http://thelivingfreeproject.com/the-real-price-of-radical-unschool-gurus-a-real-time-story/ I didn't follow every link in the article but I did read these blog entries: http://unschoolingthegreenfamily.blogspot.com/2013/07/watching-unschooling-pieces-crumble.html http://unschoolingthegreenfamily.blogspot.com/2013/07/watching-unschooling-pieces-crumble_15.html Also, I found the level of plagiarism in her articles disturbing. For example: Dayna’s plagiarized article here. The original article published months earlier by another author is here Jaw-dropping.

I just want to give you a big hug! I am also very sensitive and I fully understand the vulnerability that comes with participating in online forums. It can be really challenging at times. Your website looks like a great resource and I look forward to spending some time there!

I guess my concern is in how much Stef gets into the negative things in people's childhoods. Oftentimes it is the person's mother who is the culprit. He also is very critical of single mothers. I don't believe that Stef is negative towards peaceful parents. I like his message. I just think that there is a tone of negativity towards imperfect parenting. I don't hit or yell at my son but if I talk about difficulty in tantrums then I am still a mom who is in the wrong. That may be true but I felt that some of the responses to my thread lacked empathy and I wonder if the occasional negative tone of the call-in show plays a part in that.

Thanks for your response! My son has been struggling a lot with his sleep these days (irregular naps, waking up early...) and I think that makes a lot of sense in his over-the-top emotional fits. My husband and I had another conversation about his travel schedule today. It's true that it is hard on us as a family. Believe it or not, his 2-3 week a month travel schedule is an improvement. Up until August it was 4 weeks a month, flying out Sunday night, flying home Friday. It has been hard for me to complain about the situation because my husband grew up in a Navy family where his dad was at sea for months at a time. His dad wasn't even there when he was born. We got to talk about that a little today. My situation appears better than what his mom had to deal with but in some ways it's worse because military families have more of a support network. I'm just here in suburbia where my working friends tell me I'm lucky because I get to be a stay-at-home mom. (I am certainly grateful for our ability to provide one of us 24/7) Sometimes I get concerned about the amount of negativity towards mothers in Stef's call-in show. Don't get me wrong, not all mothers are saints (mine left when I was 10) but if we want to see positive changes in parenting (for a better world) aren't mothers the ones who can effect the most change? Who need the most help? So thanks to those who empathized with me. I got a lot out of reading and thinking about these posts. Sometimes just reading parenting books is not enough.

Just wanted to get someone's take on this article: http://johncarlosbaez.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/meta-rationality/

Thank you for being kind and compassionate. I cried when I read your response. I was feeling really down and overwhelmed by today.

I feel hurt and judged right now. I am a stay at home mom with a husband that travels for work so most of the time it's just me. 24/7. I attend to his needs all day long. The only time I leave the house is to go to the playground, the children's museum, the zoo, and the grocery store. The grocery store takes FOREVER because he doesn't want to ride in the cart and so I let him walk up and down the aisles, exploring the store. The only time I can visit with a friend is if my husband is in town and I can go on my own. It had been 5 weeks since I had tried to meet up with a friend. My entire life revolves around my son. I need help and I thought FDR would be a place where I could find support. I am trying REALLY hard to be a good mom but it's making me so isolated. I don't know. We had never been to the place I met with my friend and he hadn't seen her in over a year so he didn't remember her.

I am a mom of a boy who turns 3 in a couple of months and his tantrums are getting hard to deal with. I am putting a lot of work into coping with them by breathing and trying to remain calm (and not flipping my lid as well) but it's wearing me out. Today I went to meet a friend for lunch and as a compromise we got take-out and went to a park because my son will not sit still at a restaurant for more than 10 minutes. When we got to the park he did not want to get out of the car, and cried, and rebuckled his carseat, and kept saying "Sit down! Sit down! Go home!", and turned red, and.... it was awful. I wanted to do what he was asking and cancel our lunch but my friend (who is 68 and never had kids) said "If you cave he's just going to keep throwing fits to control you." So, I took him out of the car and walked to a picnic table where he kept trying to leave us and walk back to the car. I would go get him and calmly bring him back to the table and tell him "No, we can leave after we finish eating." He kept crying, throwing a fit, hitting me, hitting himself... My friend and I didn't even have a conversation, but I forced him to stay with us while we ate our food. I feel like such a bad person for forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do but a bad parent (in other people's eyes) for giving in to tantrums. It is so hard for me to make it through a 20-30 minute tantrum without having my anxiety go through the roof. Is it really so bad to give in?

I've been to a few CE courses on cosmetic facial surgery in conjunction with cosmetic dentistry (I'm a dental hygienist) and the surgeons talk a lot about symmetry and ratios. For example the ratio of a patient's upper lip to nose and nose to chin is a big one they look at. I believe it can be objective. Most of the faces posted above are very symmetrical. http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/35976-science-of-sex-appeal-facial-symmetry-importance-video.htm http://www.cosmeticsurgeryspecialists.org/beauty.html

Steph mentioned it on his most recent YouTube upload. When is it? Tomorrow? Live? This is a long overdue debate. So excited!