MattGrimes

"Celebrate your independence today by loosenng the restrictions on your colon"

Thanks for the reply Kevin. That makes me feel better haha. In regards to more ambiguous mecosystem experiences, i want to say yes but im not totally sure. Through writing and thinking and such i would get little nuggets of wisdom out of nowhere, but i never noticed it as a distinctly separate part of myself who was releasing them nor any method to the madness. It was always just this kind of fog of me running around in circles trying to intellectually attack a problem and seems as if my unconscious would at some point be like "okay you're gonna hurt yourself kid. here just take this nugget of wisdom and stop thinking so much lol". but , until the other day, I saw my unconscious as, at best, this just fog-topped lake in the night which will give me wisdom if i do the right rain dance to it. Though I cant recall every consciously thinking that these answers came from my unconscious; my conscious mind took all the credit and used that to justify that the thinking-myself-into-a-tornado method of problem solving was effective. So to answer your question, i would say yes it has occurred but in such a subtle way that i didnt even know it until writing this.

edit: Oops meant to say 'Has my mecosystem finally revealed itself' What's up guys So, there is a lot of backstory, but I don't think it is particularly relevant so I will condense it as best I can (lol, nope that didn't work out at all. Sorry! It's still not even 1/10th of all I could say though so I guess it's better than that lol). Basically my question is regarding the 'mecosystem'/unconscious and how it manifests itself. I have listened to podcast 0-1200 and then the last few hundred of the most recent volume, so I've heard a lot about this idea of the mecosystem and how it functions, though I never understood it as more than a theory up until last night. I never understood how people could role play their 'alters' (almost always it is the voice of the 'critic' who is role played), and felt much like Greg (who, at least in the podcats I have listened to thus far, always struggled with this). I have had an emotional rollercoaster the past few weeks, as I am quitting my job at my parents company of which I have worked for 5 years (I am 23). It is by far the scariest thing I can remember having ever done. I realized recently, through journaling and therapy, that I had resigned myself long ago to the fact that I would never have control in my life, and FDR has kind of screwed that all up for me (in a good way; overwhelming but good). Up until recently, I was basically a slave to the whims of my family, with not even the thought of pursuing a career. Last night, I had this overwhelming anxiety and a desire to cry, and I just had to stop and lay down, pull out my jounral, and I asked myself "What do you need?" "What's going on" "What do you have to say". Immediately I got back I got this overwhelming rush of a strong 'presence' and got many answers regarding my immediate future regarding my job situation, therapy, and my girlfriend--usually I get 1 snippet of these goodies dropped on me after lots of thinking and writing, but last night I got more things that I would get a whole month. The first thing 'he' said was "You have to get out. You have to get out NOW" (regarding my job) over and over. I had to say "This is too much. I need a break", and the alter said "yes that's okay" and left me alone for a few hours, which later I said "Okay I'm ready" and it gave me many more insights. This 'presence' was distinctly separate from me, though i wasn't like hearing voices or anything; it was just an internal monologue but with what seemed like distinct separate, more powerful mind. As I layed there, 'listening', another mind came up, who was called "Baby", who wanted love and affection and attention and bond but has never received what he needed. Immediately I felt that this was the part of me who loved and wanted affection from my mother. Consciously I have never been able to feel the need for affection from my mother that I, intellectually, know must exist. I have hated my mom since I was 13 and cannot recall I time where I did not firmly believe that 'I don't need her'. Even when I try to say 'okay feel it. I know you feel it' I wouldn't happen, but last night when this 'alter' popped up I knew that he was the one holding all this in. Despite have been neglected for 23 years, he did not complain when I said that I needed a break from listening to them, as I was feeling overwhelmed. The first 'alter', who said his name was 'Mitch', is very strong, courageous, and with deep wisdom. He knows much more than I do about what to do next, so I said I will listen to him. The only time I can ever recall having 2 distinct 'minds' in my head was back when I was 14 and I was still somewhat religious. I remember I would pray to Jesus and immediately I would get this 'FUCK JESUS. JESUS SHOULD DIE. FUCK JESUS' in my head, which I would feel very ashamed of for thinking. Mitch 'says' this was a former version of himself speaking these words, but after that he went dormant, and only now was it safe to return, as now I am finally in a stable enough situation to listen. Also, as I continued to listen and meditate, immediately an image of a terrifying, pale, close up face, just of the right eye, bulging, looking like something out of a horror movie appeared in my head. They told me this was 'Dead'. He has yet to say anything. He seems to 'grunt' but no words. I am not sure exactly who he is, but he is somehwo related to the many years I spent suicidal. I don't know if he is my sucidial self or the self in me who has already died, seeing as he does not speak, and Mitch and Baby plead the 5th about him. So, yeah. Is this the mecosystem Stef talks about? Or am I just losing it and/or making random shit up in my head? At first I thought I was just crazy, and I was very skeptical of 'trusting' these personalities, but the more the say the more I think this is legitimately some dissociated parts of myself that have knowledge from my unconscious that I have never been able to access.

Well first I would like to say Hello and thanks for coming to the board with this question. I will of course put the caveat that everything below is just my opinions and my interpretations, so all I ask is that you consider them and of course discard them if they are in no way valid. Also for whatever it is worth, I cheated on a girlfriend 7 years ago, and I tried to hide it from her for a few months until she found out. We broke up for a few months but ended up getting back together and spent the next four years together. Long story short, it was a disaster of a relationship, full of co-depedent and self-destructive tendencies. We broke up 3 years ago and I am still recovering from the damage that that relationship did to my life, and if she had a chance to get her life put back together from her broken childhood, that relationship definitely made the potential light at the end of the tunnel a whole lot dimmer. I have forgiven myself for the harm I have caused, as I too was a broken child and have put enormous effort into becoming a better person since then--the ending of that relationship being what truly spurred me to seek truth and wisdom--however the damage I had caused in her life tortured me for a long time. But I digress, onto your question: Well, right off the bat, No. He did not 'end up sleeping with a women' like it was some thing that just 'happened to him'. He consciously chose to betray his girlfriend in the most absolute form possible. Again, weasley language. He did not 'find himself' in this predicament, it was not 'dropped on him'. He took everything he knew and valued about this woman and this relationship and what it means to him and the feelings of this woman, and he said fuck it and have sex with some other women. Where this language is coming from I cannot claim any knowledge however I think it's worth considering the following possibilites: 1. you may be attempting to downplay so as to 'protect' your friend (ie protect him from truth and facilitate his lies) 2. You wish to downplay the reality so as to 'feel better' if you do not intervene (if it would otherwise tug on your conscience) 3. It may be his language and you are unknowingly repeating his mythology, possibly indictating that you have a history of being forced to repeat the mythologies of others so as to avoid attack for yourself. Or none of these could be the case, however I just want to provide as much though provoking feedback as possible on the chance that they may resonate with your situation. I support your statement of the significance of honesty, though I get the impression you are quite fearful of your friend. Of course, again take this for whatever it's worth, and it could entirely be just a mis-interpretation due to the medium that is text or my own faults, however I get the impression that 1. you are not confident in your own belief that honesty is the key to happiness and/or 2. you do not feel comfortable asserting your true values and beliefs and sticking to them with this 'friend'. If the former is the case, it may be worth considering what you value and how important it is to you (and whether you want people with opposite values in your life) and/or if this fear of honesty is pervasive in your life and why that may be, and if it is the latter, similarly, I would question whether a true friend would make you fearful to be honest with them. Second, the statement that he 'just has to work harder' is, I think we both agree, absurd and clearly not a 'working harder' to be honest or open. Honestly, I don't even know what he means by 'work harder'; the only thing I could think he would mean would be "I'll buy her more shit" or "treat her 'like a princess' to her falce (while I lie behind her back)" or something similar. He should have thought of that before he cheated. Actions have consequences, and dragging 'friends' to cover up one's lies is a pretty dispicable act by any standard. Well first, I would argue that any woman who would date, or claim to love, the kind of man who would cheat on her--The signs of low self-esteem, the signs of inconsistent behavior, the signs of a deficiency of the ability to acount for long term consequences, etc. would all be there long before he actually cheated on her--would suggest the strong possibility that this girl, though wonderful she may be, has a lot she has yet to discover about herself or her 'blindspots'. Again, of course, that's not to say for aboslute certain, though I would argue it deserves a lot of thought. Also that doesn't mean she's 'crazy' or anything, just that she likely has a long way to go with self knowledge. To answer your question, I, and no one, can decide what you should do, however I would like to put forward some things to think about. For one, If I were in this situation, I would not stand for it. Sidenote: I wanted to say 'unfortunately you got dragged into a situation that shouldn't be your problem', then I thought "well by being friends with this guy, you are accepting any negative situations that such a 'friendship' may present", but then I thought "Well, of course, it is ultimately the fault of your parents that they did not model integrity and honesty to the degree that you were not turned off by this guy and never would have been friends with him the first place", though the degree to which any of those is valid is convoluted and complex; just something to consider. Anyway, I don't know how old this couple is, but this could be the rest of this girls life. What if your 'friend' got a sexually transmitted disease? What if your friend got this other woman pregnant? What if--and I'd argue, more of 'what about when'--he cheats on her again? What happens if they get married; either she's going to find out eventually or his guilt is going to overwhelm the marriage. What does that mean for the children? More kids growing up with out dads? More fighting and divorce? What happens if the other woman tries to get money from your friend for her child? What happens if your friend transmits the disease to this girl? The degree to which this can destroy multiple lives is staggering and should be heavily considered. Your friend made his choice, but this woman is at least mostly innocent in the situation, and their children will be entirely innocent. Do you really value this guys 'friendship' so much that you would be willing to be complicit in the possible destruction of this woman and their children's lives? If you truly care about your friend, the girl, or their children, would you not want the consequences to be swift and potentitally life saving? Finding this out about her boyfriend could get her to stop and think about the kind of men she is dating, and cause her to get therapy which will exponentially increase her happiness. Not enabling your friends reckless behavior and lies could cause him to reconsider the direction of his life and do the same. And regardless of how their relationship turns out or the directions they choose, being truly honest and courageous and living your values could change your life for the better as well. I understand is very scary, and possibly terrifying if you have been attacked throughout your life for the virtures of honesty and integrity--something I strongly empathize with--, but for what is at stake, I strongly recommend you consider the ramifications for all parties involved for either choice. This situation is not your responsibility, however you do have in your hands the power to better many lives--or at least not facilitate corruption--including your own via honesty. Well that's all I really had. I hope this post will be of use and help you make whatever decision you choose to make, and i look forward to your feedback.

Kevin & James, Is there a mobile-specific version of the premimum content board? I can't find how to access it other than manually entering board.freedomainradio.com/files, however this page isn't very optimized for mobile ATM, and the podcasts do not transfer to quicktime too well (does not list length or position; just a play button basically). edit: Yeah it's struggling pretty hard. I cannot view the time nor drag the slider to a new area, and the podcast has mysteriously restarted for the 3rd time (I think it's happened after I lock the phone and then attempt to unlock it or if I leave Safari and come back to it it will restart). I apologize for my ineptness I'd love to help you guys out but I do not (yet) have the technical skills to be of any value. edit 2: Actually it's not even something that clear cut. My phone was just sitting in my pocket untouched with the screen locked and off and the podcast just restarted

I've put off listening to any of the premium content due to seemingly uneasy way in which it must be done, and in deciding today to try and figure it out it seems that the only means is to click each individual podcast then clicking 'save as' on the download link. I have done about 5 and the last 10 minutes or so (my internet is being quite slow), though at this pace the 160 that I would like to download will take me at least a few hours clicking back and forth and saving each file. Is there any kind of feed for say the 'bronze podcasts' or 'gold podcasts' or is this my best option (I just don't want to spend a few hours doing this only to realize that there was a feed for these somewhere that I overlooked). Thanks

Originally emailed Mike about the first one, but I figured it be easier for him if I just posted it here. 1. At 1:04:30 in the Against The Gods audiobook, the music starts playing at the wrong time and overlays Stef's audio for a few seconds. 2. When clicking the link to purchase Revolutions via Amazon is sends me to Lulu. 3. This issue plagued me a few months ago and I just gave up trying to download the audiobooks until today: when I have an audiobook player open on my macbook, if I try to right click and 'save audio as' it will save it as a .htm file instead of an mp3. I tried a couple different methods like File2HD, and throwing the link in utorrent but none of these work. In messing with it again today I found that one time of about 10-15 tries it magically showed up as the MP3 file, but i could not replicate it again. Practical Anarchy saves as "PA.htm" and on the one rare chance, saved as "Practicial_Anarchy_By_Stefan_Molyneux.mp3". I tried performing the same task on my PC (Windows 7), and everything worked fine--everytime it got the correct file name and type, but on my mac such is not the case. I have no idea what could be causing this, but did want to point it out in case it may be a common problem. That is all for now. Thanks

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=792241417470123 Sure it's doesn't hold a candle to FDR or anything, but I was pretty impressed with the level of insight he has into family and childhood despite his fame. I haven't really looked at any of his other stuff, but it made me happy to see that someone pretty prominent was putting out these kinds of ideas; Gave me some hope for the world haha. Thought I'd share it with yall and get your thoughts.

Good point. I will ask. However i would clarify that she was just looking for a friend to talk about important things with, not a lover, and i was the same. Oh my bad. I misunderstood. I would mention that i think i portrayed it as a little more grueling and unrecoporical than it actually was, but there definitely was a noticable disparity. I think she knew that i was uncomfortable with vulnerability and it was 'okay i told you stuff now you tell me', but we will definitely have a conversation about it. Another good point. Yeah for sure. I had no intention of this being a relationship–it crossed my mind whether it was a potential thing but it was by no means a goal– just having a new friend who i could be honest with, and start figuring out the almost 1000 hours of theory and put it in to practice in my life, and bring it to others as well. Of course, i didnt know the best way to do it. I brought up that i felt very anxious over potentially being a hypocrite by talking about these ideas and probing her life while i was still in the infancy of probing my own. It was after that i that somewhat lost interest in digging deep into her (not that i am against it now, but previously my whole idea was apply this to other people and fix them instead of me) and was more interested in being open about myself–something i believe is positive. I will finish RTR in the next few days. Thanks as always for your input

Right i fully understand that. But it is an illusion shatterer is it not? I am intending to use Stefs own words in regards to this topic–'philosophy is radioactive', the first few paragraphs of on truth, etc. You dont just go dropping philosophy everywhere, right? Only people who are ready to put in the work. Expecting people to be able to do this is like expecting people with osteoperosis to play rugby (quoting a podcast from the 880's or so). You have to be gentle. Thats all i was trying to get at. I dont dispute that their brittle bones were inflicted on them but that doesnt mean i can just go around breaking them carelessly, right?

Yeah she is majoring in psych (new to it, but knows some) so she is not ignorant about that stuff. The kind of conversations we have she explicitly stated she has never had before. Up until us talking, the idea that you should tell people how you feel was not a thought that you really considered. So I think she is just learning to feel comfortable with first knowing what she feels and then saying it. However, anytime I ask her "how do you feel about this", she is very open and does her best to interpret her emotions and express them to me. Well philosophy and honesty can be very destructive, just only to falsehood. In the empire of falsehood that is modern society though, I felt these words were not entirely inappropriate, especially when talking with people who are new (I think it's important, to explain that philosophy is radioactive and can really mess up your life, though if you stick with it it will make something better than you ever could have imagined). I catch your meaning though. I will avoid using these. hahaha no I'm sure that she is aware that men want to bed her. However that's not really what I am interesting in exactly; I just had a desire to make a move in regards to physical affection. And FWIW I am 22 and she is 21. I'm sure sex has crossed her mind, though she doesn't seem particularly concerned about it (nor am I... which is unusual). this is very good. thanks. Sorry to anyone else responding, got to go to class, I'll be back for more later.

Hey Lians! Well that's a good question. To my knowledge, when she was bored on lunch at work or just had 15 minutes to kill she would just facebook chat people. I guess I'm a funny guy so I was good for a few minutes of entertaining. Of course. That's why I want to probe her relationship and why she was in it a little more. I don't want to make excuses for her, but to my understanding, and from my own experience of similar things, it kind of a 'this is the best there is out there. All my friends are drunk and lame, and the best I can expect is someone who will just hang out with me and shoot the shit who I don't hate'. In the circle of people that we come from, the idea that you could have a relationship where you are honest about things is like looking for a unicorn—we didn't even know it was possible. As I mentioned though, I do plan to probe it a little more. In regards to skepticism, haha yes I know it's not a feeling. I meant that I expressed to her how I was concerned about her motives, and explained what happened with the last person who preached similar lines. Yeah I am very aware of the deep rooted nature of dysfunction, hence my concern. You posit a very interesting theory in regarding to the ambiguity. I will have to think about it. However my initial thoughts are that it may be a false association. We are both concerned about resolving ambiguity and getting to the root of things, and most of the confusion arises from the fact that we just met yet have what seems to be quite a strong friendship (but also the degree to which we talk makes it seem like it doesn't fit in the friendship box; and of course that we are attracted to one another throws another wrench it there). Either way, I will think about this pattern you have presented, and posit it to her. I definitely understand your concern, though I'm not sure it is warranted (I'll explain a little more and you can tell me what you think). We generally hang out at night—both night owls with later schedules—so last night we hung out from like 9 PM to 6 AM. We went for food and whatever, and then decided to go my house to eat it (as driving to the beach again and sitting on rocks just didn't seem as appealing). We hung out til probably 12 on the couch and balcony, but my room mate was sleeping and the neighbors could hear us on the balcony, so we moved to my room. I have no furniture in my room so the bed is the only place to sit. We were sitting up, entirely platonic for the first hour or so, but as time went on we kind of slouched down, I then put a blanket over my legs, then she put a blanket over hers, and by the end of the night (it was also like 5 am so we were tired) we were laying, and were somewhat closer physically (IIRC mostly my doing). As mentioned in previous responses, for me, just the fact that we've gone this long without sex is a new experience for me. In the past all my relationships were basically put in the A. relationship or B. Meh I don't like you. Box pretty quick. I've never had a friend who then became a relationship. I of course see the dysfunction in starting a physical relationship so soon, and thus don't want to do that, and the desire for it has definitely taken 5+ times longer than it usually does, but now it is here and i don't know how to go about it. And I haven't mentioned sex or anything—I'm not particularly interested in that (which is unusual for me)—but I did mention the idea of a relationship, and that it had been a thought in my mind and that I wanted to explore her perspective and my perspective and such. Is this unhealthy? I am very new to RTR so I didn't know if stuff like that you're supposed to not talk about yet or what. thoughts? Appreciated, Comrade. I can always count on your to bust my balls haha

Philosophy bomb is basically FDR. Talking about childhood and how child hood created your dysfunctions, and why we hang out with people we do and whether those people are corrupt or whether they care about us or are just using us to manage their emotions (and we to them), etc. Brutally honest I guess sounds concerning to those who have always been pretty honest, but basically just RTR as I understand it. When I feel something I say something. when she asks a question I do my best to answer with complete truth. When sometimes is causing me anxiety, I bring it up. etc. That is my concern. I am concerned about why i'm so concerned about putting this is a box. I am definitely used to doing that (putting relationships in a box immediately)—every other relationship I've had started off as 'I like you let's have sex' basically, and then it went from there. I've never dated a girl who was ever in a limbo of 'should we be friends or partners?'; it was always either A. let's bang or B. bye. Just the fact that after 8 hours talking to hour I didn't make a move, nor even feel a desire to do so, was unusual for me. Of course I know that's terribly unhealthy for relationships (to have sex before you know the person), and I don't want to do that with her. I want to get to know her and be her friend, but I also want to be honest and my brain is highly concerned about this relationship stuff now, so I brought it up. Just for clarity's sake, I interrogated her for at least 6-8 hours of talking before I started to reveal anything significant about myself. I am very aware of how dangerous vulnerability is (correct me if i'm wrong if that's not what you mean when you say 'and the damage it could possibly do to you both'). As said in the above response, I am generally debilitating-ly closed-off; not telling anyone about how I feel or what I think (however I have been opening up in the past few weeks to those I think may deserve it). If this girl had not proven herself to be more honest and curious than anyone I have met, I would not have revealed these things to her. Okay so this is my dilemma. How do I know when it is right to move steps (let's leave her past relationship out of the equation for now as that will have to be resolved first)? As I said above, every relationship I've had in the past was centered around sex and I never go to know them before that. Of course I see where that leads and I don't want to that to happen here. Am I right in mentioning my concerns about this to her when I feel them or should I just shut up and let things work themselves out and go wherever they go? Hey man I thoroughly appreciate it. She is quite inquisitive, though she is obviously quite new to these kinds of conversations as well (so isn't experienced in Socratic questioning or anything). I don't want to bust her balls or anything, so I'm just letting her kind of work her way up to the level of radical curiosity that I, and FDR, embrace. I don't think it's just a fascination—that was how the last girl was and that became apparent pretty quick. But you could be right. Of course, life is short, so might as well find out sooner rather than later.

Hey no worries; I came here to get some perspective. Well my issue is that while timeline wise it's very short but it's pretty condensed. We've hung out for like 24 total hours and have at least another 8+ talking on other mediums. 36 hours is equivalent like 9 dates (I think... I've never really asked a girl out of a date before). And i'm not exactly saying that it needs to be a relationship or a friendship and that needs to be decided now, but it is anxiety causing that i don't even know if a future relationship is off-limits. Also, is it healthy to mention this anxiety? It seems like a weird feeling to have with someone so early on (though to my knowledge it is a mutual feeling); but I also want to be honest. Every previous relationship I've had basically started out with us hooking up because we were physically attracted to eachother, getting to know eachother after having sex, and then kind of figuring out whether we actually liked eachother. Of course that is terribly unhealthy, and I didn't want that to occur in future relationships, but just the fact that I didn't kiss her on the first night put this in a different category than all my others. And you could be right, but it doesn't feel that way. I am a very very guarded person. I have always kept everything to myself, and use sarcasm and jokes, and sometimes even more volatile methods (hostility and meanness) to keep people at arms length for many years. I am not at all the kind of person who will just open up and say how I feel to anyone, or even people who I am fairly close with. It is definitely the case that it's kind of 'fuck it, this is me, if you have a problem with it, don't continue talking to me', but if I was highly concerned that this girl was a scumbag who would use this information against me, I definitley would not have done it (though, even though It seems like she would never ever do that, I am concerned at having given her that power over me, something I have not really done in the past as people have always abused it). The fact that it is a new relationship does make it easier to be honest, but that in itself is far from what I require to speak to freely about myself. In regards to a date: I've never really done that. However what we've been doing have kind of been dates? I don't know if it's my generation or just the people I know or just me, but dates—as in 'hey let's go on a date'—aren't really a thing. I felt more comfortable just bringing the topic up to discuss than trying to figure out how to have a date ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Oh and yes, I have been exceptionally curious. I always am. But usually I am always just interrogating (nicely) other people in my life and never revealing anything about myself. She is the first person I've felt comfortable talking about myself, to the degree where I not only want I okay with it but actually wanted to do it (which is weird).

Ribuck, I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and provide feedback. Your comment has caused relief in me, though if you could give me a little more meat (ie why shouldn't I be hung up on her past relationship? Can I be certain that it's a non issue? Any ideas on what I could propose or ask to help me get a better understanding of this? etc) that would be awesome.