Greg1

I'm not sure what to say other than it was brave of you to confront her on a serious topic like this. I agree her responses are very belittling like the "ummm"s and the "lol"s. I think you have enough evidence that she is going to remain abusive for the foreseeable future from your own and your brother's experiences, so do you think it's wise to continue what you think will be "terrifying conversations"?

Sorry for the late reply but thanks for your help everyone. I wondered why they don't have me move back in. Maybe a mixture of them not wanting me there or maybe they are guilty so they let me stay here because i like it here. I have been working on getting job but that's a whole new topic of anxiety and fear.

Mysterion Muffles: I kind of feel like they would apologize and then I would feel bad. I would say I feel angry and frustrated when they do this, and also guilty. Cynicist: I don't know. I guess I want to defend myself and let them know that I believe I'm in this rut because of their parenting. Ivan: I'm not sure. Maybe they like me this way. Oddly I don't live with them though, they pay for me to live in another city. They say they really want me to get a job. I wonder if I they would secretly hate it if I reached my full potential. Mike: I guess you're saying I should defoo and maybe you're right. I'd have to get my financial situation in order pretty quickly though.

I've been unemployed for a long time and my parents have been helping me out. At Christmas Eve dinner we all went out. The server put the check in front of me after dinner and my father made a joke about me not being able to pay it. Almost everyone (my parents, older sister and my one aunt) laughed. It brought back memories of how they used to make fun of my at the dinner table when I was a pre-teen sometimes having to do with my sometimes feminine behavior (I'm gay). Looking back it was almost like I had no respite from bullying, since I went to public school. I wanted to say what I know Stefan would say, you know, the stuff about the groups of painters working on a painting for 20 years and then critizing how it came out. But I'm scared to say things like this to my parents and sister. Any thoughts or advice?

Maybe the blind women are how you see more other people: statists, abusers, etc. You got stuck in the recently poured concrete because had shut yourself off too much from the rest of the world and gave up your footing on solid ground. You let your brother talk to you (climbing out of the mushy concrete of isolation) and bumped into him and he forgave you by saying "it's ok". Maybe the bumping into him was the realization that he also viewed your mother the same way and he was not just another evil, blind, hooded woman (statist abuser).

Just a guess, but from what Stefan has said about IT people is that they aren't the best "people" persons. Maybe these problems they have are with dealing with other people which isn't solved by doing a google search. They could be looking towards you to be a mediator and they see you bouncing the problems back at them as intimidating.

I don't want to spoil too much but this was a very good movie to watch from a libertarian perspective. The protagonist stuggles against regulations and bureaucrats to sell non-government approved meds to people who are dying during the early part of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. There's also a good side story about abusive parents who's son develops a drug addiction.

Thanks for your feedback guys. I guess I really need to figure out why I'm self-attacking and find a way to stop it. It makes me sad that there are people trying to tear me down and I've been doing most of the work for them.

They're very brief flashes of anger usually followed by anxiety. Sometimes on the street when people pass by or when I'm talking to someone. I'm not sure what the trigger is. I don't think there's a pattern but it's something I'll try to bring up with my therapist now that you mentioned it.

Your theory does make sense. I do get anxious or violent thoughs occasionally while being around people. Not so much around people who are close friends though. I am feeling better about some of my relationships, but I haven't felt violent feelings right after good feelings.

Well obviously his wife and kids are his new priority. But from what you said it sounds like he doesn't consider you good friend anymore but more like a "facebook" kind of friend. I agree about asking him for feedback though before you make a snap-judgment.

Thank you for your feedback everyone. I guess I have been trained to self-attack. I remember my mother spanked me in public situations, maybe because she wanted to look like she had her children "under control" or to make me behaev appropriately. I also remember getting mocked by my parents and older sister in my pre-teen years, probably because of my effeminate behavior. Yes I am gay Holo Cene.

I don't know much about Australia and I know government is fundementally immoral but can't you call the police/ child protection on her?

I think you are right Cheryl... I wasn't sure if Ernie was supposed to be my parents but maybe it just is me attacking myself because everyone wants me to get a job and I know it's that right thing to do but I keep failing to do it properly. My parents in particular have been putting a lot of pressure on me by complaining about the financial burden.

Right now the biggest worry in my personal life is relying on my parents and the gov't to take care of me. I'm an adult but I'm scared to apply for jobs and do interviews. I'm stuck being envious of other people's ability to get jobs while I can't seem to get up the courage to even try. I live alone in an apartment in Philly. I don't smoke but I do drink pretty regularly. I used to watch Sesame Street as a child. I know Bert and Ernie are usually considered gay characters and I am gay myself but other than that I'm not sure what it means.