Tyler Durden

I've always liked this test. I'm an ESTP.

"Let's agree to disagree" is a question. It translates to: "I don't have any arguments left to support my position. You have plenty of arguments left and that scares me. It scares me because you're taking away my sense of security, you're telling me that what I thought was good is actually evil and who I thought was trustworthy is actually deceitful. To be honest, what you're telling me is actually quite a nightmare scenario. And this may be hard to understand for you, because you're strong, but I can't handle what you're telling me. It scares the living shit out of me. Okay? And I know I don't have any freakin' arguments but I can't just tell you that you're right, because that would mean that I have to accept this nightmare that you're trying to impose on me and that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid here. So will you please, for the love of God, or whatever it is that's holy in your universe, have mercy on me and let this go?" Now the way to end this without any residual feelings is to answer this question in the right way, which depends on who you're talking to and what you're talking about. If this is someone who has been abusive to you in any way shape or form it is perfectly fair game to answer this question with: "No, fuck you. We're not gonna "agree to disagree". Because you know what? What we're doing here is not disagreeing. I'm not putting forward some random opinion here, I'm telling you the truth about something that is actually really important, and you're just denying it even though you damn well know that I'm right. So you can either admit that you're wrong and at least retain some form of dignity, or you can continue your "agree to disagree" bullshit and lose even more of my respect." On the other hand, if this is someone who has never done you any harm, is generally a nice person, and may not have even asked for the conversation to begin with, then you can answer with something like: "Sure. We can agree to disagree. Let's just leave it here for now. But I hope we can revisit this topic some other time, if that's okay with you. Because I'm really fascinated by it, and I always find our discussions really valuable because we always make each other see things from a different perspective. It gives me food for thought." So the question is always more or less the same, but your answer can be anything. Basically, the way to not end up with residual feelings is to just express your feelings.

Dude, you're heading in the wrong direction here and you don't even realize it. The idea is not to run away from them, the idea is to use the truth and your moral outrage to make them run away from you. You have the upper hand here, reality is on your side, you just need to use it. Why do you think you're heart was beating extremely fast? Because they know the truth, they know you know the truth, but they're telling a different story in which they look noble and you look "fragile". They're telling this story straight to your face because they think you don't have the guts to stand up for yourself and call them out on it. Your heart was beating fast because you know you can call them out, you even have the exact sentences that you need to say in your head! But you chickened out. And don't get me wrong, it's completely understandable that you're scared, but if you want to get out of this you will need to override that fear with courage. Your balls are your most important allies here. So instead of keeping your mouth shut when it actually matters, open it up and speak your mind. And when they attack you for speaking the truth, which they will do for as long as they think you're weak, stay with your feelings. Attacks for speaking the truth fuel your moral outrage, and moral outrage is your friend. You should want to expose more of yourself to them! Don't you want to exist? Don't you want to stand up for yourself and put them in their place? All the above goes for you as well. The ideal response to this sentence would be to stare him straight in the eyes, pause for a second, and then say "Don't you think it's your job as a father to make sure that no one abuses your child?" and then keep a straight face and maintain eye contact. The man is weak and confused and is asking you a question, he's basically handing you the dominant position on a platter and all you need to do is accept it, but instead you decide to terminate the conversation and walk away from him. By dominant position I mean dominant male position btw, your mom is clearly still in charge. Good, let the rage out man. Don't tell yourself that "couldn't even attempt to look like I respect those people" story because so far that is exactly what you've been doing. You've kept all your legitimate moral outrage to yourself with the sole purpose of "attempting to look like you respect these people". There are clearly many events in your past for which you need to set the record straight, so instead of hoping that they never bring it up again it would be better to think about how good it will feel to finally stand up for yourself and tell them exactly how you feel about their bullshit. It's perfectly okay to be scared, but choose fight instead of flight. And if they knock you down, just get up and choose fight again. Also, watch the Danish movie "Festen" aka "the Celebration" for inspiration.

So, to be clear: you were on antidepressants 8 years ago, then you got off, then you got a manic episode, then you got diagnosed bipolar, and since then you've been on several meds for your supposed bipolar disorder? Let me just throw out some of my thoughts and hopefully they're of use to you. First of all, my biggest problem with the people who get you hooked on these meds is that they treat every single problem as if it's chronic. You experience a real problem, whatever the cause may be, and they tell you that they have the cure. Namely: just take these meds from now until eternity. That's not a cure! That's just suppressing the symptoms in way that is profitable to the industry. That's like saying to someone with a broken leg that he should sit in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, and make sure to switch to a newer model every year. And it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because the longer this person sits in a wheelchair the weaker his muscles become and meanwhile his leg is still broken, so it only becomes harder to start walking again. The whole idea behind medicine is that it is supposed to cure you. You get sick, you take medicine, and you get healthy again so you no longer need the medicine. That idea seems to have been completely forgotten in the psychiatric drug industry. I mean, you were on antidepressants first so I assume that you were depressed before you started taking meds. In my opinion, depression is simply the result of an environment that provokes negative emotions and a learned habit of suppressing those emotions so they build up inside you. I believe that most, if not all, cases of depression can be cured by a combination of removing the negative elements from your environment, exercising, talking and/or writing about your thoughts and emotions and thereby also reactivating other natural ways of your body to release tension, such as crying. But that's not what they tell you, they tell you to just take these pills and all will be fine. And then, when you get off those antidepressants you have a manic episode, or in normal words: you acted strange. Which is actually not that strange at all since you had been on drugs for I don't know how long and you suddenly got off them. Of course you need time to readjust to living life without meds, and of course you're going to exhibit strange behavior during that time. That's only logical. But instead of seeing that for what it is, a direct result of the drug dependancy that they caused, they decide to look at it as another problem of yours for which they have the "cure": you're bipolar. And all you need to do is just take these other pills from now until eternity and never ask questions again, and you'll be fine. That's the way I look at it. I'm not a big fan of meds as you may have noticed. Now what I would do if I were in your situation is get off these meds on my own by gradually lowering my intake, meanwhile acknowledging that I've been on them for almost a decade and preparing myself for a bumpy ride which may last over a year and at times may feel extremely unpleasant and scary. But that's me, and that's the style I prefer. I don't advise you to do it like that, because I don't know that much about you and it would be irresponsible advice. But what I would advise you to do is find a therapist who is into talk therapy and not into meds and who is willing to guide you through the process of getting off these meds and getting your shit together again. It may take some effort to find a good therapist who is willing to do this, but this is not a trivial matter so I would spare no expenses. I wouldn't trust any of the people that are currently in your environment to help you get out of this situation. Not because they're necessarily bad people, but they're just not motivated enough, otherwise they would have done something already.

Yes, I think you should get off. You say anxiety runs in your family but it's not a genetic disorder or anything. Compare it to people who are overweight. Sure you have families where many people are overweight, but they weren't born like that, they just copied the wrong habits from the people around them. The same goes for anxiety. Nonetheless, anxiety is a very unpleasant state to be in, and it can be hard to identify the exact causes of your anxiety, but you can be sure that it's not caused by a lack of Zoloft. So if I were you I would get off, see how you feel afterwards, and if you still feel anxious investigate where those feelings are coming from without suppressing them with meds.

Just be honest with her. Tell her that you think she has baggage from her childhood and past relationships which she needs to process first before jumping into a new relationship. And tell her that you wish the best for her but that you're not qualified to be her therapist because you have some soul searching of your own to do as well.

Ok, so the first time you talked to him about porn he said that he had no interest in it. Then you had to find out for yourself that he had lied about that, and when you confronted him he told you that he only looks at it now and then to see "what kind of trending is going on in society". And then you catch him looking at it again, or well, probably. My guess is that he's ashamed of it, even though you told him that it wasn't a big deal to you. And apparantly his way of dealing with shame is denial. When you confronted him with evidence he couldn't deny it anymore and he decided to minimize it as much as possible with a story that is, in my opinion, pure bullshit. Or well, he may actually have these thoughts, but more as a side effect, it's not the reason he's watching. So what I would take out if this if I were you is that when he's ashamed of something honesty is not his top priority. And this time it's porn, but the next time it could easily be something else, and you will have no way of knowing. How you proceed from here is completely up to you of course, but in my experience relationships with people who don't put honesty above everything else are more trouble than they're worth.