giancoli

That's brutal man. Hope you are able to navigate through this...Only wanted to express my sympathy for ur situation.

Hi, talked to you a little bit on the chat yesterday Hmm I really want to give you something insightful, but I'm not sure I'm able to. I think it's important to distinguish between plain boring people or stupid people and evil people who plays dirty and brings you down. Sounds from what you wrote that these people fell into the former category? Off course if you don't gain anything positive out of it then there's no reason to continue. But I don't think you should feel guilty or ashamed. You are a separate human being. From personal experience I have regretted several times to not simply just saying out loud what I think and feel. You could have simply stated that you were not enjoying your self and why you were not and that you did not want to finish the game. Sometimes when you do some activity then people get all caught up, but it takes strength and courage to take a step back and say that you are simply not enjoying ur self. Then what can happen is that people who seemed to enjoy themselves were really not, and people who seemed secure starts looking all confused and unsure. You can tell alot from the reactions you get by doing that I think. The true and false self stuff I don't know anything about, well I'm trying to learn about it. Someone helped me out with a link to the book by Alice Miller called 'the drama of the gifted child'. Maybe you can check it out. Personally I'm a little skeptical towards the concept of a true and false self. Not saying it is untrue, only that I'm skeptical of it. Here's the link to the book: http://www.psych.yorku.ca/eavitzur/documents/Dramaofthegiftedchild.pdf

I just came across a phenomena on deviantart. It's photomanipulated women with a text of a story that they had eaten their boyfriend, family members and so on. Just for fun I googled 'fantasies of eating my boyfriend' and it's scary to read the stories that come up. here is one about a single mother that fantasizes about cooking and eating her son: http://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/1qzvzx/i_fantasize_about_eating_my_son/ And this woman wants to kill and eat her boyfriend: http://www.psychforums.com/paraphilias/topic75867.html There certainly are some crazy people, and in this case women out there... Just felt like sharing it cause it was somewhat related ti this.

scary stuff, glad I stopped after one week on them. I felt like a zombie....better to be sad than to feel nothing at all....

barbarossa made a video commenting on that video. It's the typical male fantasy of a woman, but sadly it is only a fantasy and a very dangerous one. Real women despise weakness in men, they don't see us as equals, as humans, only disposable utilities, a means to an end. There might be some odd exceptions, but it's hard to spot them, cause they hide their intentions, maybe even to them selves.

Beautiful speech! You can see how passionate she is about this topic.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x17pxxh_steve-roach-closer_music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Oab9BepdeE http://steveroach.com/Music/discography.php?albumID=28 Anyone enjoys visual art? Take a look at my favourites on deviantart: http://giancoli.deviantart.com/favourites/ http://giancoli.deviantart.com/favourites/61605159/Karezoid-div

very interesting topic...although politically incorrect (which gives me some weird satisfaction) Two ideas: The further away from equator the more you have seasons, which means more irregular periods of food availability, which requires more planning (or very advanced instincts, which is off course possible) So this theory focuses on survival. Another route which is often forgotten is the sexual part. There are reasons to suspect intelligence is partly evolved due to sexual selection, that is selection due to mating preferences and mate competition. One thing that encourages this point of view is the fact that intelligence didn't evolve in the millions of other species on the planet, which seems to suggest it's an unlikely event. Now sexual selection is far more random than natural selection (survival), which often "discovers" the same solutions over and over again. Part of the random nature of sexual selection is something called fisherian runaway, which basically is an positive feedback effect...due to the component that something is attractive just by the fact that it is attractive...just a random preference can rize up and gain momentum by being more and more "popular". So then comes the question is there any reason why there should be a higher sexual selection for intelligent mates further away from the equator? Now this can maybe go back to the environment again in that females are more vulnerable in harsher climates and so selects mates... Another interesting correlation is between intelligence and r vs. k mating strategies....again in a harsher climate it might be more advantageous to go for the quality over quantity route. Hence males who had few offspring that they invested highly in would possibly do better closer to the poles where it was more difficult to survive. Males could then pass on knowledge to their offspring in how to survive. If this theory is true, males who have an inclination to fuck around alot and not bond with their female partner should tend to be less intelligent. I have read something about europeans having neanderthals genes...but I have not read more in depth about this. This doesn't explain anything in the ultimate sense off course though, but is an interesting historical fact and a piece off the puzzle (if it's true).

Thanks for sharing ur ideas and feelings. I have a deep fear of employment my self....I would really prefer being my own boss...I hate being ordered around by some asshole. I could also relate to the fear of rationalizing my laziness, this comes (to what extent I don't know) from my dad, who always told me that finding causes where excuses for my own limitations. Did your parents do the same to you? That is if you had some problem or weakness and tried to find it's psychological origin, they interpreted it as harmful blaming with the only motivation of pushing away responsibility and your own weaknesses. I'm not trying to make this about me, just sharing my point of view and asking if you had similar experiences. Inquiry into causes == excuses for lack of action (my dads point of view) I'm somewhat worried about your need for approval from others that you have to work on, it's important for your path towards freedom and independence. Hey at least your honest about it. If you openly state your weakness, that puts it on the table, you're aware of it...then if people take advantage of it, they have to do so on that basis, which is more risky (most people are self serving cost-benefit-machines). Just a thought. Would be interesting to hear what stef has to say about that nightmare of yours, of realizing in class you have no trousers. Social ridicule is the fear, that much seems pretty clear to me. But why exactly in that way? There are so many ways of making a fool of your self. Must be some sexual component to this don't you think?( there's nothing wrong with that off course, sex is pretty fundamental to our psychology) Isn't it enraging when you finally pull your self out off a depression solely by your own strength and look back of the dark years...and the complete lack off care by those around you...off course not explicit lack off care, that would harm their reputation for being a "good person"...but besides the acting..underneath...complete lack of care...or even worse...a secret sadistic pleasure...with a fake sympathetic mask on top of it....this is particularity true for me with the females in my family....the pretense of sympathy...with a few words here and there... with a exaggerated mild light voice...but no action..nothing that actuality takes some effort and cost them something. I compare it to a nice dress... the sympathy shirt, look how nice this shirt is....it makes me look so good....that's why I put it on, it has an effect on peoples impression of me....complete self serving deception. After I became aware of the sympathy shirt, when I see it I can see how their mind is completely involved with how they portray themselves in the moment. Men can and do wear the sympathy shirt as well by the way, it's a human thing, but particularly common among "the fair sex". By the way, I'm aware that my comments here often are very self involved and perhaps lacking in sympathy, I'm just sharing my point of view. I'm aware that I am perhaps lacking in the ability to put my self in others shoes....that's why I seldom say I'm so sorry for what you went through...cause I feel manipulative...I feel I'm wearing the sympathy shirt.... That being said now that I have pointed it out.... I do feel sorry for the path behind you.....but YOU ARE STILL HERE!!

So my fears have come true.... My mother just sent me a mail, she's coming to my town tomorrow. Her mission is obvious, she's ignoring the fact that I have told her I want nothing to do with her. What should I do? Luckily I have just moved, and I have not changed my address officially. She doesn't know the address... She will try to find me off course, but how can she do that? I am thinking about leaving town for a couple of days just to make sure we don't meet. She's so disrespectful off me, just ignores my wish for not meeting her. Truth is now obvious I'm scared of her, that's all, no love whatsoever.

Hi. I'm just a guy not any expert, on the contrary I'm struggling with this kind of things myself, that is how to understand humans, emotions and manipulation. I know of one good book though that I recommend, it's called ''who's pulling your strings''. It's very insightful. There's also a book called wolf in sheeps clothing, but it is not that insightful compared to the prior. Would be interesting to know the overall pattern of which emotional tricks is mostly used by women and which is mostly used by men. My father tended to play on my ego and need for approval and admiration. He would say when I was into exercise for example, you are so strong and fit I think you might handle this. I also notice that when he says something I do for him doesn't matter that much, for some reason I get extra eager in doing it perfectly. Also belittling and using sarcasm as you mention I'm used to. So you feel so smart etc. Making you feel small and insecure. Just "answering" something you say by silence and a smirk is another one. Maybe you should call in to stefs show, he's so clever to brake down these kinds of problems.

could you elaborate on this? what is bad with what I wrote and why. Not sure I have listened to that podcast, I'll check it out. oh, yeah. I I listened to those podcasts.Not sure there was something I missed or have forgotten which, if I did not miss or forget would result in a different formulation on that email?

Thanks for the replies guys. I played a little in photoshop and decided I might as well use a photo of stef, below is the result. And yes I have reas real time relationship. Very useful to remember the stories we tell and construct that gives someone a better moral position than others. Why did I respond at all? Well frankly I'm scared she might show up on my doorstep, or create some kind of scene.

Got another mail from my mother: Hello giancoli! I do not know how to look at this request. But'm a bit without options ..... Wants to talk to you about what you think .... I do not think things are getting better for you by itself ... We want you all well and think the current situation is very hard .... think you've been left alone long enough .... You have many people who love you and hope you will talk to your family again. We miss you and hope you also want a change .... Mom I replied with this one: I'm fine and have not changed my mind. This feels right for me. As you can see, it is YOU who needs to talk to me not vice versa. You are not entitled to anything. Stop typing "we want you all well blah blah". You reap what you sow so it is. To bring in how much everyone loves me has no effect on me. If you have anything else you want to say you have to send me more mails. Do not want to talk to you by phone, I like to think carefully about what you say and what I answer, and not be influenced by the tone of your voice. Nice to have what you say in black and white ... Please leave me alone and do not play on my conscience, and more. You say you want me all that well, words are very cheap, show it by respecting my choice and my freedom; leave me alone! the mails are translated off course, cause I'm not English. I used google translate and I can see that it looks a bit weird, not proper form. If Stefan Molyneux reads this I would really appreciate ANY advice that would help me in this. I'm 100% sure this is the right choice for me (never see my parents again), but my mother refuses to accept it. She has kept silent for some time now, but now she on with it again, playing on my guilt or whatever trick she can come up with. I'm pretty sure I have aspergers so I'm very bad with social skills and emotions. I need help to translate this. What exactly is she trying to do. My mother is very dishonest and manipulative, that I know for sure.

hmm, luckily my mother has no information that I need. She has nothing I need at all. So that wont be a problem. Thanks for sharing the story.