justinrobert456

Thank you for the feedback Wuzzums and dsayers. Unfortunately I don't believe I communicated effectively my feelings. When I was a child visiting family members such as my grandmother or uncle and many others where there, I would feel a sense of anxiety when it came time for my family to leave. Something about walking around and hugging my family which many of the members I still love caused me great unease. I noticed at a young age I preferred when family would congregate at my mothers house because then I never had to be the one to say goodbye and leave, it was them who would approach me before they left. Also when at someone else's house I would be happier when my family was one of the last to leave because I would not have to walk around and say my goodbyes because other family members would approach me when they left. The fact is I feel internally it is something that I want to do (saying goodbye) yet great anxiety and dread fill me when the time comes. I agree with you both Wuzzums and dsayers that I do not have to do anything that I don't want to and do not need to feel guilty if I don't wish to say goodbye. Yet the truth is that deep down I do want to (at least to the people who are important to me) however this indescribable anxiety prevents me from doing so.... I'm almost of the belief that there is some deeper meaning perhaps tied into an unaccountable childhood memory that may be playing a role in my feelings. My parents divorced in my first months of life and I grew up in several different households being shuffled between grandparents, my mother, my father never having a stable or consistent home for my whole youth until I moved out on my own at 16. The bottom line is I want to overcome and defeat this anxiety that I feel. Identifying it by discussing it with you ladies and gentleman I believe is the first step. Again I deeply appreciate any comments. We are all here to achieve better understanding and without each other to share experiences we are only left to guess and wonder.

Does anyone else experience this and what are your thoughts on its cause and or meaning? Since as long as I can remember I have had a fear or avoidance of saying goodbye to people. What I mean by that is if I were to attend a gathering or party, I may have some hesitation to greet everyone as I made my way through. However, that feeling of anxiety pales in comparison to the feeling I get when it comes time to leave. For some unknown reason I feel much more comfortable by "sneaking" out and avoiding people rather than individually approaching everyone that I have greeted during entry and saying goodbye. I know that my behavior is counter productive and I know that my actions are off putting to others. My compulsion to leave without being seen however is powerful and has won most times throughout my life. This pattern has repeated since I was a child. Can anyone enlighten me as to the cause or meaning of my actions or even relate?

DEFOOD PARENTS: I can only speak in reference to my own situation. I am a 32 year old who has defood specific family members prior to knowing of Stefan Molyneux's existence. I see parents on this forum refuse to own responsibility for the outcomes of their relationship with their children. If one were to ask the people I have severed ties with where they failed they would deny any wrongdoing or admit to minor transgressions at most. The fact is just the presence of certain family members are the cause of repetitive homicidal nightmares that only abate in their absence. All I wish to convey is that a person does not have to be aware of the damage they inflict to be capable of inflicting this damage. A person could unknowingly infect another with a flu virus that ultimately could lead to the death of the infected even in the absence of conscious intention. In similar fashion a persons' actions and behavior result in unseen consequences which may be positive or negative. To deny ones grief or pain because as the alleged abuser you have no recollection or acceptance of responsibility does not minimize the impact on the individual experiencing emotional or physical pain, Just the same as the person who dies from flu is no less dead, even when the person who infected them is unaware of any virus transmission. As a young adult preparing to raise children I acknowledge the responsibility to judge my parenting by results rather than intentions.