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Thank you both ! I hope more people contribute to this thread, as, if anything, I would certainly be interested to research, learn and read some more based on all of your recommendations!

Thanks for the response Kathryn. First of all, I am very sorry to hear you were in such a crippling and negative relationship. I can't imagine that would have been easy at all. It also makes sense in context, because essentially what you were doing was just taking care of yourself. You had no desire to tell this man how you were feeling and therefore resorted to a passive (-aggressive?) comment. I don't know if that is 'good or bad', particularly because I know almost nothing about the relationship / situation, but I will say that if you didn't feel safe to be honest, you were still in the 'relationship' it makes sense to me that this would be your response. It sounds like you desperately wanted and needed space. It sounds like you really only say this to create boundaries for yourself? In both examples, it sounds like your honesty was at least perceived by you, to result in a negative. I do also get the impression though, that in both cases, the comment is quite a bit passive aggressive. Is that even close to your experience? ""Because I feel like it" is an honest feelings statement... I think the fear of saying that is just as telling as the feeling itself. Does that make sense? What are your thoughts? " "Because I feel like it" is not an honest feeling statement..... Particularly because of the examples you mention, I am pretty skeptical of what you are saying. First of all, its not a feeling, But its also not direct or honest. Your honest response to the first situation would have been to mention your fear of expressing your lack of motivation and excitement of the relationship. Honesty would have been to express what you just stated, not "because I feel like it". "Because I feel like it" is, as you say, a tool to avoid conflict and a stressful conversation. Similarly, in the second situation, honesty would have been to say "I feel very unmotivated to do the work. I don't enjoy school nor do I enjoy the work I am being forced to do. Furthermore, I feel resentful towards you, my teachers and everyone around me who continues to put everything else above my needs.". In my eyes, that is honesty. Just like you said it here. This may be false, but I see honesty in relationships as very different from honesty in business. In relationships, honesty requires, openness, vulnerability and being candid. This kind of passive honesty that you seem to be portraying, is completely different. If anything, it is a much "lower level" of honesty, which I would then question what your standards of honesty in your relationships are...? Would you feel satisfied if your partner was this honest with you?

My understanding was that babies and toddlers can pick up on social cues, understand and experience aggression as aggression, etc. rather than anything about reasoning and explaining UPB to his gentle, loving young soul. : ) Also I can't image your son would be doing any hitting intentionally at all. I can't even imagine (and I have not read any science to confirm or disprove) that they have enough control over themselves to attack or hit someone. I've been around some children, and I certainly have found and perceived that behaviors as playful and as means to have fun, connect and enjoy contact with other people. I don't think that this issue really has anything to do with ethics. In any case, congrats on have a child, for being a peaceful parent, and even for being curious about this stuff rather than resorting to any kind of punishment ! You are awesome

I appreciate you bringing this up because this is a very interesting topic. Im interested to hear more of other people's thoughts around this. We certainly get a lot of mixed messages from 'society' in regards to this. And oftentimes you may receive polar opposite suggestions within the same day.. My brief thoughts are that it largely depends on the level of self-knowledge and healthy behaviours a person has to begin with. I don't see the harm in a healthy person, rewarding and pleasing themselves with actions / situations that makes them feel good. Heck, getting a massage, would feel great, and there is certainly no harm in paying for one just to help relax and feel good if you can afford it. Personally, I love taking walks, and meditating (which probably isn't the greatest example because many people don't), but I think doing these things, because I feel like it rather than "because its healthy" is great. It even makes the activity much more rewarding, enjoyable and potentially allowing a person to reap benefits even further in some cases by decreasing stress. Something to point out as well, is humans are very receptive to information and process it unconsciously very quickly. Often times "bad feelings" about a person, lets say, may arise because of the eye contact, posture, tone, etc. which consciously you may not be so quick to pick up on. So, again, I think its important, especially if you are a healthy person, to trust and respect the part of you that has desires and interests just for the sake of those desires and interests. Emotions can be very powerful, productive tools when used by healthy, 'self-knowledgable' individuals. That being said, if you aren't a healthy person, doing things simply because you feel like it, can be extremely destructive. (Spanking, unhealthy eating, watching tv, etc.) Great question though. I find it very interesting!

Hey everyone, Lets make a list of the best books for philosophers, scientists and entrepreneurs ! Novels Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand To Have and Have Not - Ernest Hemingway The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway The Glass Bead Game - Herman Hesse Steppenwolf - Herman Hesse Siddhartha - Herman Hesse Philosophy Letters from a Stoic - Seneca Poetics - Aristotle Politics - Aritistotle Rhetoric - Aristotle Dialogues and Essays - Seneca Essays - Michel De Montaigne Candide - Voltaire The Birth Of Tragedy - Friedrich Nietzsche The Genealogy of Morals - Friedrich Nietzsche This Spake Zarathustra - Friedrich Nietzsche Meditations - Marcus Aurelius Beyond Good & Evil - Friedrich Nietzsche Real-time-relationships - Stefan Molyneux UPB - Stefan Molyneux Seven Conversations with Jorge Luis Borges - Fernando Sorrentino Science Physics: Six Easy Pieces: Essentials of Physics - Richard P. Feynman The World As I See It - Albert Einstein The Accidental Universe - Alan Lightman Ideas and Opinions - Albert Einstein Relativity - Albert Einstein I, Galileo - Bonnie Christensen Technology The Singularity is Near - Ray Kurzweil Genetics / History: A Troublesome Inheritance: Genes, Race and Human History - Nicholas Wade The Origin of Species - Charles Darwin Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind - Yuval Noah Harari Atheism: The Selfish Gene - Richard Dawkins The Magic of Reality - Richard Dawkins The Moral Landscape - Sam Harris Lying - Sam Harris Waking Up - Sam Harris The Portable Atheist - Christopher Hitchens Psychology Thou Shalt Not Be Aware - Alice Miller Breaking Down the Wall of Silence - Alice Miller The Drama of the Gifted Child - Alice Miller The Body Never Lies - Alice Miller Psychology of Romantic Love by Nathaniel Brandan 6 pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Brandan Economics By the People: Rebuilding Liberty Without Permission - Charles Murray Anatomy of the State - Murray Rothbard Economic Facts and Fallacies - Thomas Sowell The Case Against the Fed - Murray Rothbard Human Action - Ludwig Von Mises Self-Help 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey How to Win Friends & Influence People in the Digital Age - Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends & Influence People- Dale Carnegie Choose Yourself - James Altucher The Power of No - James Altucher Become an Idea Machine - James Altucher The Four Hour Work Week - Tim Ferriss Business The Lean Startup - Eric Ries Lean Analytics: Use Data tot Build a Better Startup Faster - Alistair Croll & Benjamin Yoskovitz Lean UX: Appying Lean Principles to Improve User Experience - Jeff Gothelf & Josh Seiden The Startup Playbook - David S. Kidder The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding - Al Ries & Laura Ries The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing - Al Ries & Laura Ries 11 Immutable Laws of Internet Branding - Al Ries & Laura Ries Zero to One - Peter Thiel The $100 Startup - Chris Guillebeau Creativity, Inc by Ed Catmull Creativity The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win your Inner Creative Battles - Steven Pressfield These are some of the books on my shelf with more to come -- not in any order of best to worse. What are you reading? I would be thrilled to hear !

You are awesome !

So basically we are forced into government schools (or curriculums) for 12 years and don't learn a thing about economics, entrepreneurship, investing, technology, computer science, engineering, health, nutrition, critical thinking, debate, negotiation, public speaking, management, sales, graphic design, accounting, architecture, writing novels, parenting, philosophy, psychology, psycho-history or brain development... And then the left supports this, and somewhere have the nerve to criticize anyone about anything? Wouldn't we just be the products of their shitty education? Particularly if equality was true? The logic that comes from socialists is pretty hilarious actually..

This is incorrect. "There is no clear path to a better woman. A woman chooses the man, not the other way around. " This sounds like someone who feels defeated.. Sure, a woman chooses the man. But so does the man. I don't plan to date a woman who eats ice cream all day, has 5 kids, etc. ever. This is because I have choice in my own relationships as well. A woman has as much choice as you do in your partner --- the only difference is that arguably women have more access to males who are interested. This changes the outcome but not the choice. Also there are many things someone can do to meet and have a relationship with a better woman. How about learning philosophy rather than playing video games? How about focusing on one's health rather than not. Also, the fact that many seemingly wonderful romantic relationships have come from this community would give me the impression that there are certainly things that a man can do. How about confidence? Therapy wouldn't be a clear step in the right direction in positive romantic relationships?

What you are saying is very contradictory. On one hand you say you are dissatisfied, do not even feel an emotional connection or attraction to her (!), but on the other hand you are "unsure that I want to lose the stability of my current partner". This does not make sense because the relationship you are saying you are in is unstable. You do not have trust. You do not have a bond. You wouldn't be losing stability... You would be losing the illusion of such. It sounds to me like you are basically using her for sex (her physical attractiveness) and that you do not actually care about her. I am not trying to be insensitive but either this is a relationship of co-dependency or you are simply being predatory and manipulating her for sex. That is, if you aren't being honest about having no interest or attractiveness to her true, emotional self. "Because I have seen so few of these women my age, I am afraid that if I give up this relationship to search for someone I may be happier with, I am afraid that I will not find the kind of person I'm looking for, and I will have given up a chance at my current relationship. " What relationship? You just told us you don't have an honest or open relationship. Its basically sex.. The only way you have a chance at your current relationship is by being honest. I do find it hard to believe that a virtuous woman would have been ok with this in the first place though. Also, I am almost 18, and I have certainly found women who are incredibly great people to be around. Its not age and its not women. You have to filter out the toxic people, grow yourself and then make space for good people. Good people aren't attracted to this kind of behaviour, in my opinion. "Should you be in a realtionship with someone you know you could never love?" What do you think? Is that healthy? I recommend reading Real-time-Relationships, it may bring you a ton of insight. When / if you do end up RTRing with people, you will very quickly realize that having a relationship based upon trust, connection, openness, etc. is a necessity and pre-req to intimacy, love and connection. All in all, I don't know what you "should" do. But if you are using her for sex, which it sounds like, that is toxic behavior, untrustworthy and certainly not a step in the direction of finding and building the connections with great people. I will mention, if you are interested, I have started a skype group for young individuals --- 25 and under --- to connect. The goal and what we are moving towards is all being friends, trusting eachother, and if that is not the case, certainly looking into and dealing with that. That being said, we do filter out toxic people of course. If this is something you are interested in, feel free to send me a message. If you are open to RTRing, being honest, vulerable, open, etc. we are always looking for new people. I know that based on this message, it sounds like you may need some time to process, go to therapy, etc.before myself or others would be interested in having you join the community; but you can always reach out and have at us. Take care man and I wish you the best.These are some hard things you are dealing with. In the end, and for long term success, I think understanding and living with virtue is the most important thing.

Keys to transformational change: 1) Reactivate target schema as a conscious emotional experience 2) Guide a contradictory experience This juxtaposition unlocks (de-consolidates) the target schema's memory circuits. 3) Repeat contradictory experience in a juxtaposition with target schema. This re-writes and erases target schema Transformational Change: Defining Markers - Symptom cessation - Non-reactivation - Effortless permanence https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V_rI2N6Fco

Incredible documentary. We are truly living in the most exciting time in human history.. ! Makes me want to move out there... https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=63&v=YQy0ZCx3UCY

There is the Science & Technology page though. Health related topics would certainly fall under the category of Science?

That has not been my personal experience... But I guess I was referring to addictive behaviours being addictive because they provide "happiness" momentarily. This was not the most well written / thought out post but essentially I was curious whether people are addicted to the act or event of doing what they love, or rather it is by doing what the person loves they are able to relax and gain this sense of relief because their body and mind is telling them they are in a safe space. Continuing on this 'line of thought', perhaps this could be why without freedom, a person is only capable of temporary happiness. In order to achieve prolonged happiness, a person must be in a state and environment in which they feel safe enough to do the things they love. I am having trouble expressing my thoughts but essentially what I am asking if it is possible that we feel happy and endorphins rush to our brain in response to a sense of security rather than a particular event or action. An event such as doing what we enjoy could trigger a response in us to feel as if we are in a safe space and therefore causing the endorphin rush. So again, I wonder if it is not doing what we enjoy that makes us happy, but by doing what we enjoy we are telling ourselves we are in an environment in which we can be happy. Does that make any more sense? The reason I would find this significant is that this would mean by putting oneself into a safe, secure and trusting environment, a person can experience prolonged happiness levels despite other things going on. So a person who was living independently in a safe, secure, etc. home, could still work towards things that may not feel so desirable, yet not find it very taxing on the system nor take a toll on one's stress levels. I don't quite know what I am trying to get across... I will have to think more about this... It begininning to seem more and more obvious as well as more and more abstract. I wonder if there is any data on lower stress levels being in response to environment rather than a particular action or event. Again, when I say that, it doesn't sound like it makes much sense. In the end, perhaps this could be an argument for freedom (from abuse, etc) ---- without it, prolonged happiness not really being possible. In response to your optimism / pessimism comment, wouldn't that be in response to one's environment though? Elevated prolonged stress levels would cause a person to see the world as such; stressful and not much opportunity to happiness and positivity in the future. Whereas an optimistic person might have had the experience of being in a secure, safe, stable environment and therefore would see the world as capable of achieving such a state. What do you think? Does this clarify anything? Make any sense? Do you have any further thoughts on what I am saying? I am not sure how to respond to that. I understand this question will likely not lead to my happiness but that has nothing to do with my having curiosity... Does it? Could you clarify what you are saying for the second half because I don't quite understand. It sounds like you are saying that I am basically addicted to this new environment of safety and will soon no longer have this reaction?

Questions and thoughts about happiness: Recently, it has felt like being in a low-stress / stress-free environment, living independently and pursuing the things I see will improve my life are making me happy. What this means is I am not happy after going to the gym, or eating my favorite food (or whatever else is "supposed to make us happy"), I really feel happy almost all the time. What I am curious and skeptical of my own 'reasoning' is that it is endorphins which promotes happiness, so would that mean living like this provides a pretty constant flow of endorphins? I think its very possible. My question though is if happiness really comes from events, or could it actually be the environment and mental state? Certain environments could trigger a reaction in your body to feel calm, trusting, relaxed, etc. releasing these endorphins and causing happiness; rather than what we commonly think of as "events". If this makes any sense, the "bursts" of happiness I recall feeling growing up, perhaps did not come of particular events (like playing basketball which I enjoyed), but by doing the things I enjoyed, it told me body and mind I am in a safe space -- allowing me to feel this way. This thought just popped in my head. What do you think ?

It would make sense to me that if you did not have much genuine, positive interactions with people growing up, you would have a hard time reading the body language and seeing the signs of such a thing.

If no one voted, the system would prove itself to be totalitarian... Otherwise it wouldn't function

Someone mentioned this to me, so I take no credit. Perhaps this has already been done, but it would be a wonderful, progressive idea to write a fiction novel depicting how a society would function with DROs, peaceful parenting, etc. Has this been done because I'd be very interested in reading the book.

Yeah although I have researched and of course there is no 100% consensus among doctors, but I have never heard a doctor tell people to avoid beans and wheat. In fact most doctors recommend eating whole grains as they are extremely healthy (as well as beans which I believe Paleo people avoid).

Hmm so it sounds like it is not necessarily a bad thing then. I wonder if you all have any thoughts on why a person might feel extremely ashamed and humiliated by doing such a thing ? Btw Carl, I really appreciate that! I think that is a very interesting point actually. It seems if it is voluntary though (which I believe you would have meant for sure)... What I mean is excluding welfare and so forth; studies have shown conservatives to donate far more to charities. This is no conclusion, but just as you said it certainly would make sense that people who received support when they could have used it would be much more inclined to help someone in that kind of situation. They would know how much it would have meant to them. Very interesting. And I think its true; if a person thought they were subsidizing laziness, outside of governments and politicians, I would guess 9 or more times out 10 it would be hard to believe that a person would voluntarily choose to give that person the funds. It wouldn't even be "masked" as support. It would be "you are actively supporting the keeping of this person in a state of dependance and continuing this cycle".

Very intense. Remarkable video though. I am not familiar with the movie but you certainly spelled out what was going on and made a fantastic case. I would certainly love to see more of these!

I know I am only responding to a fraction of what you said.... But wheat is bad for you? Could you please provide sources for that information. Thats a pretty large claim. I've heard that if you are not gluten intolerant it is actually bad for you not to consume wheat / gluten.

So I am just really curious what everyone thinks about crowd-funding. Of course its not immoral, but might it subsidize laziness? Admittedly a while back, when I was still in high school I started one for myself to try to gain my independence, go to therapy and pursue some other goals of mine. I lasted only maybe an hour. I got like 3 people to support me that day but I felt extremely nauseaus and sick to my stomach. Needless to say, I returned the funds and shut down the entire thing. I discovered with my therapist this was almost certainly because money and resources were always used to manipulate and control me growing up. Beyond this, I am interested what you all think of doing this kind of thing. Part of me wants to start one to get a new laptop because mine is from 2010 and causing me problems. I will need a new one very soon in either case. Because I am pursuing a career in the software industry, and learning to code and develop now, it can already be quite frustrating. I know you don't need much to write code, but my laptop is on its last legs to say the least. In any case, I wonder what everyone's thoughts would be on starting up one of those things and seeing if I can get help to pay for a new laptop as well as therapy... I don't know what my emotional response would be at this point, but in any case I am more curious on everyone's thoughts of doing this kind of thing. I know for me, I don't like the idea of having achieved something through handouts, nor would I gain nearly as much from the experience. At the same time,I guess it is quite "wooing"... Thanks in advanced! I really look forward to everyone's point of view.

Can someone point me in the direction of podcasts on starting a business and everything similar to that? I'm having trouble finding any.. Thanks !

LOL

Thanks Lens! Its surprisingly awesome to have posted this here. Everytime I come back to the post I just feel great or even better ! I love the FDR community