Filip

How about peaceful parenting and self knowledge podcasts?

I just want to say thanks for the amazing work and dedication, team FDR! You have really had a incredibly positive impact on my life! And to celebrate this special occasion, I'll ammend my usual donation with 30.00 USD when podcast 3000 rolls out. Would anyone like to join in? I think Mike's pants from the last round are starting to get worn out.

A big reason for me moving from Romania to the UK was hearing these news. I think the risks of living in Eastern Europe, especially for young men, has increased significantly. Be it Russia or your own masters, there's just no safety from the power of the state. Massive sympathies to the men facing the draft in Lithuania. It is a vile and sickening situation.

Thanks! It's quite amazing how fast things can move sometimes... I said let's do it, 3 weeks later I was here.

I would consider this a 'life' project. So I started therapy about 4 months ago, which really set things in motion for me, for the first time in my life. Long story short, I deFOO-d and left Romania altogether and moved to London in what felt like both the scariest and most exciting adventure, having arrived three weeks ago. Everything went smoothly(house, bank account etc.) but I'm having a bit of trouble finding work. I've been sending CVs around vigorously, but there's not much bite. I got offers from McDonalds( kept looking) and some admin work, which however turned out to be a surprisingly (openly) abusive environment. Now I could do fast food or similar stuff, and will if need be, but I am still trying to find something more appropriate - I enjoy working somewhere where I can give my fullest, so the idea of having a job where I am actively trying to find something different doesn't sound like a great experience. I am very keen to get into anything IT related (especially web development). I'm generally handy with computers, however I've started learning Python and web tehnologies quite recently, so have little experience (one website almost finished) and no serious certification in it (though plan to get it). I'm very confident that in the right environment I would catch up quite rapidly, especially since its something I want very strongly. I am also learning it on my own every day, but my waning reserves add a real sense of urgency to it. I do have some experience in (and consider myself reasonably good at) simpler admin stuff like working with the Office suite, Google Docs and forms, databases (as an end user), web content management and the likes, which could float the boat (maybe even enjoyably) if I need to postpone IT. I studied business management formally, high school and an unfinished bachelor's. I am also philosophically minded (I'm here!), and try to live with virtue, honesty and courage. Also, will continue therapy once cash flow stabilises. Working with similarly minded (Stef: or just minded) people would be absolutely dreamy - perhaps even more important than the kind of work I'm actually doing. So, I was wondering: do you know of any opportunities along these lines? Or even just some meaningful other jobs working with virtuous people? I would greatly appreciate it - even part time would be OK, I might string different jobs and a bit of freelancing together to make a living. I live in Northern London but also have the internet for remote work.

Richard never be nappin'!

I'm also reading Jay Earley's book (taking my time). As far as Richard Schwartz goes, I've listened to one interview. Though my therapist is IFS-focused, so far it has mainly been talk therapy. Given that the process has caused major upheaval (and positive change) in my life, I've yet to do parts work. It seems to be very direct and intense, so I hope to get to a safe place first. How is your progress?

Stefan Molyneux: How (NOT) to Achieve Freedom I have to agree with the previous posters - right conclusions based on completely erroneous methodologies are not worth an apology.

I can really back up what Pipin said. I was exactly in your situation, and I was quite afraid that empathy would be something that is forever lost to me. Interestengly though, after having explored (and empathized with) my painful childhood memories, I began feeling empathy for the experiences of others. I'm still in the process of learning this skill, but what truly opened up the floodgate was when I first allowed myself to feel the genuine pain that I have been suppressing for so long. Having a therapist as witness made that a lot easier, but I don't think it was an absolutely necessary condition.

Now I've got my to-do list

And yeah, working out something mobile-friendly for FDRPodcasts would be a very worthy project, it's a bit of a hassle to scroll on mobile for instance. Which frameworks would I need to look into for that (so far I've learned a bit of JS and jQuery from Codecademy).

I think I would rather focus on data, I find that part more interesting - design is not a thing I feel particularly talented at, but I like working with data. Working in a small team suits me best, I'm not so much a lone wolf type of guy. Python came before I got interested in web design, I just decided one day that maybe programming would be a good thing to learn as a hobby, and I've read that it's not a bad choice for a first language. Also, plenty of introductory courses are in Python. Web design came separately, and I didn't know the two could be linked for a while. Now I know there's Django, but I haven't yet come around to it.

Well, dived straight into it I see. I've just had my eight session, and this is the first time we did actual direct parts work. I've kind of had to (and perhaps still have to) warm up to, my inner skeptic is red-flagging me (is this a rational approach? is this empirical? is it made up?)... So what's your experience with that? So far, I've found three parts too, one that kept me away from people or was generally very protective of me in relationships, a "coach" and the aforementioned inner skeptic.

Good stuff! Yeah, the learn-as-you-go, based on what is currently needed seems like a very sensible approach. To be honest, I'm having some difficulty figuring out what kind of projects to dip into (or where to find them). Do you have some advice on that?

So you went to the first interview with only high school HTML and CSS? I find that surprising - is that bravery and recklessness. So you managed to acquire enough skills in 4 months? Thanks for FDRPodcasts! In my case, it has supplanted Youtube, it is a lot more convenient to use.

Hi! I'm currently going through IFS therapy (recently started) and the idea came to me that it would be great to form new friendships with people from the FDR community. As it happens, bringing connection to my former "relationships" of friendship have really just nuked most of them, and I find myself quite alone in my desire to have something truly meaningful and honest going on. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone with this here. So I was thinking, why not strike out for new ones here on the FDR board? It would be really cool to talk to someone who is also going through IFS therapy and doing partner work, but it would also be really great just to talk with someone who shares my values and perhaps faces (or has faced) similar challenges as far dealing with the ghosts of both the past and the present. My ACE is 4. Text is not really my medium (or at least it hasn't been so far) so if anyone would interested in skypeing on this subject, please contact me. Also, did you try doing a similar thing here on the boards, or in the FDR community? How did it go?

Hi! I've recently begun learning programming "full-time" about two months, with a focus on web development. So far I've done Codecademy's Python, HTML & CSS and Javascript, done most of Learn Python The Hard Way and am doing a couple Coursera courses. My aim is to actually learn enough to be able to find an entry-level job in the field, and go from there. As you can see, I'm learning using online resources, and am really trying to avoid my country's god-awful state (higher) education. I was wondering if anyone is planning to embark on or is currently on the same journey as me? I'd really like to connect up, I believe that the right company can be very stimulating while learning - and there's not much of it physically around me (I live in a small town currently). Also, if there's anyone who is currently working in the field (be it Web or not), could you give me 20 minutes of your time? I have some questions on the subject, and I'd be very grateful to talk to someone who has experience. Maybe you could PM me? Thanks a lot!

I appreciate the time you took to share it, it is certainly an interesting idea, especially for this community. Did you actually try using it? Or anyone else? Maybe they could share their experience with it.

I suppose it can be a useful aid for staying in touch with one's emotions - and I can see how certain results would be a good place to start thinking about the people in your life. The ad, however, doesn't seem to promote such use - hell, even the topic title is more about less reflection, rather than more.

The ad says something along the lines of "peoplekeeper will manage your relationships so you don't have to". Now unless this a virtue machine, that sounds very counter-productive. Also, keeping the people who make you feel the most comfortable seems like the perfect antidote to personal growth.

A very interesting perspective! I had the same thing in my childhood, and thinking about it, it was the closest feeling in real-life to the sensation in my dreams. It is the same kind of slow-motion, frozen obedience which seems to never end. I thank you for that association. On the other hand, I chose a different path in this situation and it seems to affect me even today. After I was a bit older, I would often rebel against these conditional "pleasures". My exact words were "I will not be terrorized", meaning that I will not be bullied into doing something I didn't wished to do, only to be "allowed" to do something I should have the right to do. This defiance was crucial to me at the time - I always thought that should I give in, I would be losing ground and opening up further demands in the future. It was very much a win-lose mentality, but I feel that it was necessary at the time. It both a principled and a necessary resistance. The issue seems to be that I took this instinct that was inflicted upon me into my adult life as well - I would hesitate to comply to even very reasonable demands for fear of "losing grounds". I kind of kept this win-lose mentality even when it wasn't really necessary. I also have a procrastination issue (though it's not as powerful as it used to be) - which might also be a continued defiance to the, this time reasonable, demands of others. So I kind of took the opposite route, and I am less blocked by doing "things that need to be accomplished" and am instead prevented from fully enjoying the moment by failing to do certain important chores or tasks that would give me the peace of mind to enjoy the rest of the day. Am I correct in assuming you took the compliance route in this question? I have rarely had this kind of control in my dreams, though it's not unimaginable. Still, I think that while you are describing this more as "turning point" kind of scenario, there must have been a process which perhaps ended, or culminated in the refusal to be bullied, in your dreams and by extension in your life. Could you tell me more about the process through which you got there?

Hello! I have a recurrent theme in my dreams: regardless of what I am dreaming about, there often is a moment where I have to do something, but a minute task that prevents me from doing it extends to infinity, effectively blocking me from doing that thing and thus creating a rising sensation of anxiety and helplessness in me. A recent example would be that in the story of my dream, I wanted to travel to a certain city, and some people were waiting for me with their car to take me there. I hadn't payed for it or known them very well, sort of like hitchhiking scenario, so I very much depended on their patience and kindness. So when these people arrived before my house, I went in to get my things. Suddenly, however, there were hundreds of shoes, so I couldn't find mine. It was as if the entire world froze down, and I kept looking for mine with a very slow speed - all the while my anxiety level was rising, knowing that these people would leave if I kept them waiting for too long. After I had finally found it, I remembered that I also have to take my bag, and then the whole idea of searching and not finding began again. When I was in school a different example might be being asked for a homework, and then my bag turning into a container of infinity where there was everything but my homework. The purest form of this dream was when I dreamed that I didn't even have a conscious target or goal, but I just had to do something but my movements and actions all happened in slow-motion, and I knew I wasn't getting to my goal, though I didn't even know what it was. These moments in my dreams never really end in any way, I never get to finish my action or be faced with any consequences of not finishing it. It just keep dreaming on with all the anxiety and feelings of helplessness until something wakes me up. Have you ever had such dreams? I don't feel a sense of lacking control in my real life, so I am in a sense baffled by these dreams. What could they mean? What do they tell me about myself?

It seemed relatively easy.Maybe your friends didn't want to invest the 10 minutes necessary? Good luck with your project!

Very interesting point. I am confident that I both am virtous and can recognize a lack of virtue (using NAP as a guide). Where I am uncertain is how to judge people who don't violate NAP in their actions, but they consider such violations wholly permissible in their personal philosophies. I can again give my own past example: my worst non-defensive act of aggression was stealing a bar of chocolate as a child. At the same time I would claim that murder and fraud were permisibble, since morality was nothing but a social construct. So was I virtuos even back then, because of my lack of aggression? Are immoral personal philosophies to be ignored in assesing someone's morality if they are never acted upon?

Interesting Patrick, why do you think that?