I'm 19, doing a degree at university, left my first degree in Performing arts because I hated it mainly because all of the people were immature and not my type of people, so I moved onto another one in film making, I have finished my first year with a 1st. :)I have always been very rational throughout my life even when I was a religious person (ironic) I always analyse people way too much and tend to never agree with someone much of the time due to being skeptical of just about anything.As of such I feel that I don't tend to have a very fun time when I am around others.There was a time during my early days at university when I was quite a party animal, but I have looked back on this in time and found myself quite embarrassed about it, today I normally tend to stay indoors and research stuff, so basically i've turned into a nerd. I've only ever had 1 girlfriend which I wouldn't consider very enjoyable because we started too fast. I am always trying to be the nicest person I possibly can but I find that nobody ever seems to value me or want to spend much time with me.Today I went to a BBQ with my housemates and found that I barely knew anything of what to say, everyone around me was having a fantastical time and just letting their hair go and I was just very held back by everyone there.I've sunk into a bit of a downer now and I don't normally get very depressed like this, and at the same time I never enjoy chatting about emotions because I find it so cringey, so I want to figure out a way of just relaxing myself and not having to be so critical all the time, or... is it a good thing to be like this and in the future when everyone settles down I will start enjoying my way in life?