jill m.

"Taking away privileges" is way that parents can give a consequence for a behavior they don't like. Another consequence is physical abuse, so "taking away privileges" is seen as more enlightened. Being forced to eat something one finds disgusting seems to me more like a physical punishment, conveniently for which there is no 'proof' - such as bruise or red mark would be proof. Being forced to kneel on salt is another example of a virtually invisible physical punishment. In a perfect world, parents would be able to stay 'in tune' with their children, and both parents and children would be reasonable, consistent and care about each others' point of view. Alas, it is more likely that parents still have so much of their 'unfinished work' to do, that the child is just seen as someone to use for the parent's self-aggrandizement in one way or another. My parents spanked me. My father killed himself when I was 12, after spending time in a state mental hospital. My mother wanted a daughter who was athletic and social like she was, who valued power, looks and money. I was a great disappointment and it took years of expensive therapy for me to work through this. A few years ago, when she was dying of lung cancer, I took care of her - cleaning her bottom and other such duties, and she was amazed that I would do this. She said she would not have done that for me. I was not at all surprised to hear this.