Jacob M

I am 23 years old.I couldn't refuse because I've been out of work for a year and he would of brought up how I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything at all.So I gave into what he wanted.As for why I didn't tell them to go away I can do it because they wouldn't of left it to me even if I offered.As to the last one I concluded that because immediately it threatens the lives of my whole family if I stay here any longer.

This morning I was outside doing yard work with my two uncles(Ref Names AL & DEL).The Garden work was Just mowing the lawn and cutting down small trees which is something new that I had to get use to I was nervous about doing this because AL likes to snicker or make jokes as I work and this is annoying.It was originally suppose to just be one(AL) but the other one(DEL) wakes up and decides to help us all while complaining about how there isn't enough gas.We understood but still wanted to do as much as we can.If we have to do the rest tomorrow fine but Del keeps going on and on which was already getting on my nerves as well as the other AL commenting under his breath.Mind you both of these guys are Disabled in some way so I expected to have to do a chunk of it but would prefer to do it alone over the course of the week because I do not like doing anything around them while they are watching.During this week I was in a bad mood because I was clueless as to how I'm going to deal with this explosive anger I get to inherit from my family and had violent fantasies about hurting them and then being afraid of it.I couldn't sleep last night because I knew I had to deal with him today and I couldn't refuse.At one point I started to go from annoyance to rage I was trying to cut a branch I couldn't see because it was covered in dirt and my uncle AL said "Are you wearing glasses?" this pisses me off and I tell him "Don't start this shit."I cut it and we start on another branch and It's tough to get through and my other uncle Del makes a comment to change my position and I'm trying to get the blade lose and says something under his breath and I got pissed and exploded.I go inside the house and lock the Doors my Grandfather opens it we continue arguing and in the end it was just about me and my anger not about them and their comments towards me while I'm learning especially since I'll be doing a bulk of the work.I know my angers a problem but no one else here has to change or see me point I grasp at my uncles shirt to make him stop yelling which made things worse and here we are now. I need help with My anger "How do I manage it?"As well as help with talking to My uncle about this.