kahvi

Perfect response, Frosty.

I logged in just to see if anyone had mentioned this video. Where everyone on Facebook is congratulating her and calling her mother-of-the-year, my comment was, "I wonder where he learned how to be violent. Hmmm, let me think...." I see no mother-of-the-year material about her. I highly doubt it's the first time she's beat him. It makes me absolutely sick.

My aunt posted this video on my Facebook wall, I guess thinking I would get a kick out of it. I think she assumed that since I'm against spanking, and have made numerous posts about it, that I would approve of this father's parenting because he wasn't using spanking as a punishment. I quickly corrected her on that. I can't remember the exact comments I made, but one was that he was punishing them for his own mistake - not keeping the paints out of their reach. They're toddlers. Of course they're going to experiment with anything they can get their hands on. I also mentioned the fact that he was confusing them by at first sternly scolding them and then turning around and laughing. I suggested that a better route would have been to make a game out of cleaning the mess up, in order to rally their cooperation (but don't force the issue. They're still a bit young), and to from then on, keep the paints locked up.

Yeah. I first read it a while back, too, although I can't remember how long ago. The show's title reminded me of it.

In light of Stefan's recent show on public schools titled after Another Brick in the Wall, I thought I'd share a link to this interesting website. The author thoroughly analyses each of the songs from The Wall. I'd be interested to see what you all think. http://www.thewallanalysis.com/

My sister had my niece. Meggan, back in 1989, when she was only 19 years old. I was 15 at the time. I remember that at that age, I had very little empathy and very low emotional intelligence. When I heard stories of people being hurt, whether they be kids or adults, I tended to shrug it off and go about my day. I don't know if I was similar to most teenagers or if I had an issue that stemmed from my childhood upbringing, but that's not the topic for another day. I'll just say, that I'm a completely different person now. I feel deep, emotional stress when I hear about children being hurt. I wish I had been this way when Meggan was born, because I could have helped her to avoid the life she has made for herself up until now. Both of her parents, my sister and her husband, were authoritarians. My sister spanked her, but her husband used to make Meggan strip down naked before her beat her with a belt. At the time, I had no idea he did that, but I reasoned that spanking was necessary. I never hit Meggan, but I did used to manipulate her, shame her and terrorize her in sadistic ways. I would make promises to her in order to get her to do my bidding, but then would back out of my promises. I'd yell at her to make her cry and when she did, I'll run to hug her. It makes me sick to think of the things I did to her. Meggan now suffers from a whole range of issues. She's addicted to pain-killers, is on anti-depressants, has never held a job for more than a year or so, and has been trouble with the law many times. She is half-black, so my sister and her grandparents often accuse the police of being racist and unfairly targeting Meggan. But, she has been involved with selling prescription drugs for some time now and she was recently sent to prison. Many times before she left, I had apologized to her for how I had treated her. She's accepted my apology and I don't think she's even aware of how much my actions have had in a hand in her current predicament. She's going to be in prison for 3 years, and I've been sending her letters regularly, but I would like to do more, particularly when she gets out. I don't have enough money to pay for her therapy. She was on Medicaid and had been seeing a therapist, but that particular therapist's idea of therapy was pretty much just giving Meggan anti-depressants. She'd see Meggan for about 15 minutes out an hour long session, give her her script and send her on her way. I don't see medication as a means to help her at all! In fact, since she's been in prison and hasn't been allowed to take her meds, she says she feels much better and her mind is much clearer. Anyway, I want to do something to help her instead of just constantly apologizing. I'd like to maybe send her some books, give her some good advice without sounding preachy. I'd like to help her when she gets out. I can't afford therapy for her, but I can give her my time. Are there any things that you guys recommend? Any books you recommend I send to her? I have to use Amazon to send stuff, but the way. I tried to order one of Stefan's books for her, but realized it was only available in digital copies. Any advice would help. Thanks guys.

One of the most influential people in my deconverting from religion is a black man named Reginald Finley. He had an internet radio show called "The Infidel Guy" back before podcasts existed.

I only know two policemen personally, and they both came from authoritarian parenting. I defriended one on Facebook because of some horrible joke about not needing an elf on the shelf to get a child to behave because he has a belt on the shelf. I can't imagine anyone who wasn't spanked as a child wanting to be a cop. It seems less a desire to help people, but rather a desire to unleash unmitigated power against others, the result of lacking any power or control as children. Ironically, the same parenting mode that created them also created the criminals.

I'm always dumbfounded when I hear of atheists converting to Christianity, because other than being indoctrinated into believing it, I can't see how any rational person on the outside could agree that science agrees with the bible or that the whole "good news" story makes any sense. I'd be curious about this woman's story and the steps she took in order to be finally convinced.

I don't think you're being a Grinch for not celebrating Christmas. The holiday means different things to different people and I know a few Christians that only celebrate it out of obligation. I don't think you should feel obligated to do anything you don't want to do. On the other hand, (I know many here will take exception to this ) I think you should give your family a break. At least for the first year or so, to give them time to adjust to your new stance. I guess that also depends on how much you've talked to them about it already. I've been an atheist for 14 years now, but have always enjoyed Christmas. But then, my family has always mainly just celebrated the secular aspects of it. We never brought Jesus into it, other than displaying a decorative nativity scene under the tree. Congratulations on your new found atheism, by the way. I remember when I first deconverted. The weight on my shoulders was suddenly lifted, I had no more fear of hell, I was able to consider all sorts of other philosophical views without feeling guilt. I still feel it was one of the best things to happen in my life. It turned my life around for the better!

For the most part, yes, unfortunately. The ones that aren't that funny almost have to be secure financially.

I may be in the minority here, but I've never particularly fantasized about men in uniform. I've never paid any particular attention to their shoes or watch or what type of car they drive. If anything, the "nicer" those things are, the more wary I am. It's probably due to an unconscious aversion to competition and a bit of insecurity on my part. Men like that typically have women throwing themselves at them, and I'd rather not deal with it. I've always preferred intellectuals and humor, both of them still signs of the ability to provide resources, of course, but both are traits that I feel I equally contribute.

Feminist tactics are almost on-par with PETA's, using highly sensationalized, shocking and emotion-seeking media to bolster their claims.

There are too many insightful statements here to quote any individual ones, but I thought I'd add my two-cents. I only recently have begun to consider this question in depth and mainly because of a recent night out with two of my girlfriends, although it would be more appropriate to say "girlfriend", as in the singular form. There exists a ridiculous amount of politics involved in most female relationships. Typically, we will remain on good terms with women we do not particularly like in order to maintain group cohesion. In my case, I act like I enjoy both of their companies, when really I can barely tolerate one of them (I'll call her Suzy), and like someone already mentioned, I complain to my husband about Suzy when I get home. I realize this is absolutely crazy and would like to change it, but have no idea how to. It's particularly aggravating to me because Suzy stated, in a joking matter, how she had to spank her 3 year-old daughter because she had almost scratched her car with a rock. I'm deeply ashamed that I didn't open my mouth, but we were having a nice dinner and enjoying ourselves. I would have been the bitch who dared to question my friend's parenting skills. This wasn't an isolated incident, either. Suzy had once told me that she had flicked her nursing infant's cheek when she bit her nipple. Additionally, the conversation was dominated by Suzy and consisted mainly of husband bashing (Not on my part). Most of her complaints surrounded the traits she knew her husband had before they even married! Look at me! I'm complaining to you guys about it! I later brought the spanking issue up with the one I like and she said she has had to do it a couple times with her children, too. Now I feel like I'm at a crossroads. Instead of being brave enough to challenge them both on this issue, I'd almost rather leave the relationship(s). I remarked to my husband that I prefer his company because I feel comfortable speaking my mind. I'm not sure where this comes from. Either it's an evolutionary trait (Women had to get along while their men went off to hunt) or it's learned (My mom didn't tolerate me talking back to her.) It's probably a combination of the two. I would like to learn to be more assertive, and I think visiting this forum and listening to more of Stefan's shows will help.

I commented on another video of a guy dissecting this original video and it has blown up to be the most commented on post. (I'm so proud of myself) But, to what you said, it's true. My husband was heavily involved in gaming, mostly counter-strike, and he was in a group. I asked him if he ever experienced any animosity toward female players. He said,"Hell no! If anything, we loved it when women played." Now, I understand that just because he never witnessed it, it doesn't mean it doesn't occur. But, it leads me to believe that the isolated, misogynistic comments are made by douchebags and it's better just to find a group that isn't full of them. Some of the others accused me of excusing bullying behavior. I dislike bullies just as much as anyone, but sometimes the most rational thing to do is just walk away, especially when there are groups out there who will welcome women with open arms. On the other hand, men are constantly attacked by other men calling them "pussies" and "fags", but you never hear about these guys complaining. They typically retort with an equally venomous remark and move on.