PGP

To put some perspective on it, I was around 15 when she entered and she 22-23. I don't think she had many friends and the ones she had were assholes. For instance one of her "best" friends was one that treated her like dirt and actually "robbed" a boyfriend on her. At the time, I had no clue about psychology or childhood trauma, all I can say is that I enjoyed talking to her and I had affection toward her. On entering the cops, I think it was like a drug or a new family to her. She talked constantly about it. I can say that having become a cop and starting operating as one, other peoples relationship to her changed in that now (as is quite common here) she became an asset in many ways. Speeding/tax fines to be cancelled, strings pulled etc. All feeding into her desire for power over others. There's a saying about cops here, it's like; "I'm arresting you under the "I was bullied in school and now its my turn Act of 19--""... I can say that any relationships she has are based on this expediency she can provide for others. Anyone decent or with a shred of moral fibre runs a mile. Nobody wants to be a round a power-hungry freak and be interrogated and unsure if what they say is in confidence. It's a moat of separateness from everyone else accept cops and what goes on in those circles I don't know and I don't care. Just as one example of what I'm talking about. I have completely cut off from her since the start of this year, Christmas was the last straw. Since then she has threatened to stalk my house and has turned up unannounced also early on a Sunday morning. Weird as fuck. Maybe it's just my sister but I have seen alot of this with other cops and their relationships. By and large they become pariahs here.

Interesting question. I can provide my experience of what happens to people when they enter the police. This is from a sibling who joined and also a few friends and acquaintances over the years. I'm in Europe but I think there is enough similarity for it to be of use. I am speaking from the point of how these individuals come across pre-and-post joining in conversation and relationships, so really from an overall gut reaction to them more than any well-thought out rational evaluation. I am giving it in this way as I think besides all of the rational philosophical and moral reasons for not being a cop, there is IMO and IME a clear path being taken in life that sets them apart from the general population even when not on duty and even within their own family. Hence, the strong bond that develops within the cops. Funny, my sister (7 yrs older) studied and achieved a BA degree in philosophy, entered the cops for the job security and I think power of the position (she was bullied for her weight in school unmercilessly). They are taught that everyone is a suspect. Period. They are taught to constantly be scanning for illegal activity. They see the very worst scum and criminal in society and very often for the first period of their training/placement they are placed in the worst situations as a test. My sister spent her first few years picking heroin out of junkies asses as an example. I think that in general there is a brainwashing and psychological damage inflicted on them to set them apart and ensure loyalty to the cops and whatever goes on within the cops whether legal or not. From before and early on in my sisters career from having quite good convos about phil and history and other things, conversations became interrogations. She started to approach convo's with the aim of finding "something" out, no matter how inappropriate or irrelevant it was. For instance when I came back from a period of travelling when I was ~20/21, the first thing she said to me was "Did you take drugs?", before even asking how I was or whatever. Personality was replaced with something else. I have noticed this with chaps I played sports with over the years also and went to school with. Sound, nice chaps turned into sneaky bastard automatons that you can never be relaxed or open with in any way. This is just a taste of my experience with them. I have absolutely no contact with my sister now and if I beleived in God, I'd thank him every day for not having to see her again. She disgusts me. Whatever relationship you have with this chap now, I can guarantee will disappear completely if he joins the cops. It's a clear choice for him.

I've had the thought recently of feminism and stories like this being like a scene in a film. The camera is rolling in a room and all seems quite "normal". SJW and feminists etc. are planning their next PR stunt to prove how victimised they are by proving they shouldn't be treated like victims etc.Then someone involved in the discussion leaves the room and the camera pans to the outside of a cell door in an insane asylum. The person that left the room is a doctor or a researcher and she/he makes their report to their supervisor: "Yes doctor, they are still insane and if anything, they're getting worse".

Yes!! OGGY WANT EGGY!!!

Cool post! It's only since listening to FDR that I started to see these things. I can look back and see now that it is only really the people that knew me the best that could deliver these abuses in this manner. It seems that they were almost always exquisitely timed for max impact. In cases of new people and people in general life, the showing of vulnerability tells alot now. It is interesting to see how different people react and how some will seek to gain trust just to deliver their own little stab at hierarchical assault. It is an extremely valuable skill to have in sorting individuals and in judgement. I can say : " ah, the abuse hierarchy is strong in this one"!!!

Here is a nice little story from a website I came across that is worth a look IMO. http://www.thelifemanagementalliance.com/Psychological/LovingOneSelf/GiveToSelfFillNeeds.html WHERE IS THE LACK OF FREEDOM? The observations of the "man from Mars" The "man from Mars" came down to observe the Earthlings to study their primitive habits. He knew we were as intelligent as he was, but he saw that we didn't use that intelligence like they did on his planet, where they had to be very innovative to be able to live below the surface and in the spheroids they created. He saw the Earthlings in this incredibly wasteful "form of exchange". He saw that they spent huge amounts of time trying to "look good" and do what it takes so that other people would give them approval (which they mistook for love). He heard them exclaim things like "all there is is love, love is all there is", "love is the answer", and "you'll be happy when you find 'the one'!" He was taken aback at the ridiculousness of those cultural beliefs, for the efforts put into this unproductive practice displace the efforts that could have been directed toward self-fulfillment, appreciation for life, developing happiness, soothing and nurturing oneself. And the time spent in an effort to control and manipulative the others so that they would be given approval was enormous, pushing out "better opportunities". How silly humans appeared to be to think that they needed the approval of others! And how much more silly it seemed to not give oneself approval and love, as that was the easiest and most likely thing to be productive - plus one would definitely be interested in the welfare of oneself at the highest level. They even spent a huge amount of time in avoiding being disapproved of, amazingly often with people who they didn't even care about. In fact, they were friends with people who they didn't particular care for. He saw that the Earthlings lives were governed by having to be like others wanted them to be, by fitting in, by trying to be sexy and attractive, by trying to be powerful, yet gentle and understanding and compassionate, and as "good as" others (rather than just being themselves and being happy with the cornucopia of life). He at first, just as was the case with the Dalai Lama, could not understand how they could not think they were "good enough" or "not as good as others". He was amazed at how much of a struggle people had in trying to overcome that, in the wrong ways, ways that could not produce the result really wanted. Now if someone was rejected by another person, he was astonished to see how devastated he/she was - that seemed so silly compared to just going on in life and getting more of what one wants from all that is so available rather than being in an upset about being rejected. The man from Mars was astounded to see Earthlings mistake chemicals for love and then to do all they could to satisfy the "other" person's wants being scared to death that they might not. Then once they "got the other person" then they stopped the frantic obsession and were relatively unloving. He even saw supposedly powerful men weak-kneed at the prospects of getting approval in the bedroom, which apparently was a dance of doing the same thing Earthlings do to procreate. These men became little babies - and they even used some baby talk. Astounding! Finally, one day, as he finished his observing and gathering all of his conclusions, he sat down and chatted with six Earthlings, pointing out the illusions they had and observing that they seemed to be a holdover from being a small dependent child. The Earthlings understood and they decided to fill themselves up, as it was much more productive to do it themselves than to try to get it from others - and they gave up the illusion that love would solve all, especially since they saw that few people were really getting love anyway. Those people filled their own tanks so well on their own, with some occasional contributions from others, that they felt so fulfilled that it caused them to have more than enough, so that they were actually able to freely give to others instead of hope to "get" from others. And the giving, for the first time, had no strings attached, no imperatives, no demands, no fear of loss. Those people became truly free, for they did not 'have to' please a soul or try to manipulate or control another's behavior in order to "get" approval and validation from the other. They were independent and didn't need approval or help from others. A byproduct was that they were free to be totally authentic, as they weren't worried about trying to please people to "keep them" as friends. As a result, they actually ended up with more really close friends but an enormously reduced number of so-called friends who were not actually open and close to them. They they had formerly cultivated those "friends" so that they would feel secure by having alot of friends, which in turn made them look better to their friends, and on and on in a "vicious circle" of wasted energy. They no longer needed or sought approval, so they made quick decisions on who to be around, who would be in "fair exchange" with them, who would be someone they would want to be with. At times, they might have seemed unfriendly to others or as agreeable (though they were always kind) as they didn't spend any efforts to do what is expected or to "look good" (there wasn't any reason to do that anymore). And their lives were so much fuller.

That is an excellent point RoseCodex. If all women had a gun and a black-belt, it would make things exponentially easier for men IMO. The risk of offending or "creeping-out" or making feel-unsafe of women has alot of men walking on eggshells and it's not good because it is the good and just decent men who will feel this way, not the rapists and other scum.

Just listened to FDR 2828 "The necessity of being inconvenient". The segment from ~2:45 to ~3:01 could be a powerful segment IMO on the youtube. I'd splice and dice but my b-band is not great (Yay gov licences!!!). There is a poetry and continuation that I think will turn a few pre-frontals.

I avoid them and haven't watched one in a couple of years. The first horror film I saw was Salems Lot at maybe three yo. I had nightmares for years after it. The last horror film I saw was maybe Silent Hill. Around that time, maybe a little after, I saw the Road, though that's maybe not strictly a horror film. After the Road, that was it, no more. It is one of the best films in many ways I have seen but I have absolutely no desire to see it again. The gore is not the major issue for me, it is the possibility of the subject like in the road. The darkness under the hood so to speak in humanity. Also, any film where children were suffering or monstrous like Silent Hill always distressed me.

That's great you're learning to drive. The teacher is paramount. Also, just the sensation of being in control of a vehicle is really important to ease into. So, if you can, a rural area or deserted car-park just driving for practice and gaining confidence might be a good thing to do. The other info given here is all good.

Darius, thanks for posting. That was really excellent, especially with the annotations. I did not know this about "One" but the St. Anger album has resonated with me strongly. For me, it represents legitimate grievance and judgement. I think it has helped me get in touch with my anger a little so far but it is emerging in me every day a little more when I look back on things. I've even come up with a little saying: "Burn anger and fan the flames with virtue". That's the way I'm thinking of it at the moment. Cheers for posting.

That's impressive, that you can recognise your limitations at this time and age. If the piece of paper is vital to your future, then the quickest route is preferable. The motivational issues is something I can relate to. Operating in a statist society, especially a socialist state in Europe, like myself, is difficult for those of our persuasion. I have come to the view that anyone with the capability and conscience to look at the world objectively will find an anarcho-cap philosophy or similar on their own with the information availability we have. Therefore, besides those I put alot of energy into in the past trying to persuade, I don't bother anymore. I will sow the seeds of doubt about the state if it is convenient and can be done quickly and if I think there is a potentially fertile ground but life is too short to make all the arguments repeatedly with no return. Increasingly there is a divergence in my life between myself and the zombie-nation. But, that's ok, that's just the way it is and pre-occupying myself with it will not help me achieve my goals one bit. To a large extent it just has to be accepted and the fights picked when expedient. You kind of have to have "two-minds" in my experience. My main preoccupation is to concentrate on myself and to work consistently on my integrity and virtue. It's bloody hard but it's the most important thing I will ever do. In a statist society perhaps there is a limit to the level of "absolute" integrity and virtue I can achieve, but that's ok, I don't want to be a martyr either. That's where I'm at anyway.

Actually sounds fairly similar to mine own second level ed. Luckily, there were alot of the old-school male teachers left to create a bit of breathing space. Since then, the gov had the genius idea of incentivising early retirement for second-level teachers, many of them the best and most experienced. The school I was in is a shadow of what it was in the 90's from what I have heard. I digress. It's an interesting situation you are in. What does your "gut" tell you? From your writing you seem to have the brains and motivation, so, the world is your oyster. For most people I'd advise stay in school and tough it out to get the piece of paper, but, for one such as yourself, you might just be going through the motions in school. Is there any way you could just have the curriculum, study yourself, and sit the final exams in a year? You could be working on other things in the process and get the piece of paper aswell?

This reminded me of the episode from "its always sunny" when they had the pagaent. Bizarre.

Hi Ian, firstly, it's great you have such awareness in your teens. You are certainly years ahead of where I was at that age. Secondly, I want to ask about the education you get in this school and the system in Sweden generally. What sort of subjects are available? What is the approach taken by the teachers re: critical thinking vs a force-fed dogma? Is dissent encouraged or discouraged? What is the relevancy of the material to the career (if you know yet) you are leaning towards? What is the relevancy of the material to industry (and the "real" world of employment) in general? Are you very aware in the school class of the leftist-mentality of teachers and other students? Are other students as aware of the narrowness of the material and are they concerned about this? Is it a genuine brain-washing type operation they run? I am genuinely interested in this as bad and all as my education was, dissent and argument was allowed and I took use of it insofar as I was interested in the particular issue at hand. Plus, I like to hear what the education systems are now and how they may be changing especially in socialist states like Sweden.

This is a very good question. My initial reaction is that "teasing" (I would call the colloquial equivalent of the definition "taking the piss") is like an inside joke between two mates. Also, a bit of a witticism. Knowing someone well and having a good relationship AND/OR sharing a very similar cultural understanding that is very strongly endemic with them is a required pre-requisite but not a guarantee that a "tease" will be taken assuch. What matters after this is the situation/timing and the mood. Increasingly as I read more about self-knowledge, psychology and all things FDR, I am finding it more difficult to engage with people through "teasing" as tbh my contempt for cultural norms grows. Certainly, some of the "teasing" that I engaged in and received over the years is not now what I consider aesthetically desirable. Stuff that was funny is just not funny any more. I consider this a progression.

I feel really bad for this young chap. Where she talks about "divided loyalties" in the article, the real horror of the situation shows itself. Mindless reproduction by narcissists.

Hey, Jake, nice composition. Needs a sound though!!! It would be great if there was more music component of FDR as in producing material. I think it would have a good audience to appeal to. Keep it up! ;-)

I think he debated God once. God lost, threw a hissy-fit and flooded the place. I think it was made into a film........

a link to an article that references a recent study in uk: http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/women-more-likely-to-control-partners-with-physical-abuse-30385731.html

This issue of dominance has come up alot and it is important. It is one of the things in an anarchic society that "frightens" people from what I have read so far. ATM, as my thinking develops, I can see something else important that is: just how blunted human potential is in the world. Hierarchy in merit and ability and all the rest doesn't scare me. At least there would be a structure that enabled progress rather than the current miasma of stagnation and nihilism I see alot of now and indeed have had myself in the past. Conversely, I am reading alot on Soviet Union in 20's and 30's atm and I could not contemplate any sort of communism. It would be one thing I would fight to the death to prevent taking over the West if it was necessary, UPB be damned.

Thanks Nathan, much appreciated!!!

This came to me this evening in one stream. A Pome 12-10-14 Alone in a valley, Black mid-night, A milky moon, Weak light, North unknown, Or where I am, Shrub thick trees, What way is out? Then hours, Then days Then months, Then years, A Moly-nox, Heard, Distant, Perceived, A change in tone, Then mind, Then heart, Then gut at ease, A ray of light, Peeks over the mountain, East is thence, And I am here.

Thanks for sharing this. I am very sorry that you had this upbringing and that you have these feelings of nihilism today. The above replies are very thoughtful and I could come nowhere near at this stage. I just want to say that I had different but in many ways the same upbringing. My parents are dead now. They died of heart attack and cancer but what they really died of was misery. The cancer and the heart attck were just the final symptoms. What has been said above about the final victory of them over you is correct. By pure chance you were born to them.

You didn't have a case in the first place. You had a justification for murder. To legitimise it. If you class this as "your case", then I am glad you have given it up. You can justify all of this stuff til the end of time if you want, it won't salve your conscience. It is your life and YOU have to live it. Trying to rationalise your hell as heaven will only delay the day, if it ever comes for you, when you can have any self-respect.