Blackfish64

Most excellent. Most people think they can "reason" and "logic" their way into, out of, around, and explain everything in life away. That's not how emotions work. Not even close. There's no such thing as an "appropriate" emotion. Emotions just are. People have emotions all the time for reasons they cannot even explain. It won't do any good to try and rationalize it, explain it, or reason or logic with it. It just is. Observe it, don't absorb it. Learn from it. Or maybe leave it open for interpretation later. Sometimes the answer doesn't come in a snap. That's the problem with "philosophy" and so-called "philosophers." They think they know everything. There is nothing they can't explain. There isn't anything they can't talk about and make it all better, make it all go away. They're always passing judgment on the lives and emotional lives of others. I wonder what their own lives really look like. It's easy to come online and pretend you got it all together, completely devoid of any responsibility for your actions and the shit you say. I'll bet most of the people on this board are a living mess who couldn't fight or find their way out of a wet paper bag. But here they are passing judgment on the emotions of a five year old, when they're only two year olds themselves. Donate enough and you can get a title and one of those little red "we don't like you" buttons you can push, like a little monkey every time you see something you don't much approve of, the "receive-electroshock-for-the-wrong-button-method". But if you kiss our ass and be a good little monkey with us, we'll give you a green one, which proves you're just as dumb as we are. When they shame and guilt, well, they're "philosophers", and that's OK. It's just that they don't like it when they're shamed and guilted, too. They're "philosophers" and they've got their shit together, but you? Well, you've got a long way to go, and we have a little red check mark to prove it. You're just misfits. That's all you are. Deluded little misfits. And people like Stefan Molyneux know this, and know how to exploit you and lie to you, just like the rest of society. And the lie is that change and healing are possible. They are not. You are what you are. Go live with it. Therapy can only take you so far, help you solve conflicts and turmoil, help you understand things better. Thank goodness for people, like Kaki, who have a brain, who use it, and who understand all of these things and strive to understand more yet. It's people like her who truly help to make the world a better place. But you can't be a Kaki. You can only be a you, unfortunately. You know who you are. You can tell who you are by the fact that my words are stabbing you in the guts and giving you pain right now. All you are is another member of another collective and head of State. You're a goon with a gun, a thug, an enforcer. That's all you are. Therapy can help you, yes. But therapy isn't everything. Philosophy can help, yes, but philosophy isn't everything. Psychotherapy and medications are concerned only with behavior modifications, not with healing. The State is concerned with your maladaptation and your inability to fit in because your maladaptation is socially costly. This board is a place where freaks, like yourself, come and get supply for your false, narcissistic little selves.

Hi neeeel, your honesty is very much appreciated. You are willing to admit and perhaps even to take responsibility for your own shortcomings. That will always help you out in the long run. Too many are in denial, and then wonder why they can't move on. They don't want to take any responsibility for their own nonsense. We come from the same sort of backgrounds, so I hear you loud and clear. Though my abuse was incredibly violent and horrific, mind and body shattering. We pick up traits from our parents, good ones and bad ones. My Dad, for example, was incredibly lazy, a loser and a failure, which is where I got my laziness and my own capacity for losing and failing. Reading books and doing constructive things were not encouraged, but that's what I really wanted to do. So there was always conflict. Lying around on the living room floor watching boob tube was encouraged. If I was caught hiding in a corner with a book, asking too many questions, trying to make sense of the world around me, I was asked, "What'd'you think you're smart? You think you're smarter than me, you little son-of-a-bitch?" And the book would be taken away and I would be beaten. That's all Dad ever did when he was at home. Bitch, get drunk, sit there and watch television, and you'd better not make any noise while he was doing it or you'd get a vicious whipping with a belt for having disturbed the big pile of elephant shit sitting in the middle of the living room. So, naturally, lying around being quiet, not moving, doing nothing became the norm. There was safety and security in doing nothing. In doing nothing, you were less likely to get punched in the face or kicked in the head or kicked in the ass, or backhanded out of your chair at the dinner table. I turned all that around one day in the mid-1980s while working outside as a very young adult, years after I had moved out of Dad's pig sty. It was a hot day and I was moving slow and lazy while trying to complete a furniture project I had been working on. It seemed to take forever, and, out my laziness, I was about to give up once more. But wait! Screw this bullshit! I am not going to walk away and be lazy and half-assed today! I am going to kick laziness in the ass and get this project done - TODAY! And that's all there is to it! And that's all there was to it. I took hold of that project and worked all day and all that night and finished it. And I never looked back. I was never lazy again. I have my moments from time to time, sure. We all do. But am I basically lazy anymore? Nah. I will always get the job done, no matter what. I feel, think, and act better when I am not lazy. So, it is always in my best interest to kick laziness on down the line and be done with it. For me, it's just an act of willpower. That little voice wakes me up and reminds me, "Ruh, roh, you're being lazy!" And I think to myself, 'OK, this has to stop, like, right now.' And that's the end of it. There was never any fundamental change to me. I simply chose to modify my behavior that very moment. I just made being busy a habit instead of keeping being lazy as a habit. There really isn't anything you can do about yourself. You are what you are. At best, you can modify your behavior and get a different result. You were abused, so you will naturally tend to be abusive, to yourself and to others around you. It's been wired into your hardware and software. Your awareness is key here. You realize you are lazy and abusive, and that will help you understand it better and be able to control your own appetites for destruction. Some people, knowing their tendencies and traits, go as far as to refrain from ever having children, for fear of treating them badly, being irresponsible and/or abusive. All this is worthy of consideration. One of the things most of us fail to understand, fail to remember about sociopaths, narcissists, etc., is that their disorder is made a purpose. They come from abuse themselves. During their horrific childhoods, for example, it was a protection mechanism, it was a means of survival, a learned thing that developed into what they are and who they are today. It's like being in a penitentiary. One does what one must do to survive the place, as the circumstances therein are beyond one's control, e.g., brutal warders and fellow inmates, etc. But the idea is that once you leave the prison, you don't need to utilize those particular ways any longer, and should leave them at the prison gates upon departure. But it does not always work that way. Example, child accidentally breaks a light bulb in the garage. Dad is abusive, mean, violent, and a beating is sure to come of this. The child knows this, and he also knows that all he has to do is tell a lie and he will escape the beating. So he lies and escapes the beating and another sibling takes his beating instead, or Dad is sent off in another thought or direction and the whole thing is forgotten. The child learns to manipulate through these events. He finds himself "smarter" than everyone else. And, in a sense, he actually is. He learns to use his wits quickly and creatively, long before others his age even begin, he is already taking the role of a shrewd, cunning adult, like a politician, a cop, or a gangster. He gets smart. He "educates" himself. He is autodidact. He learns to use his brains, in his own, twisted sort of way. When he finally grows up, he thinks that now he can drop all this nonsense he has to do to survive the prison, the home he grew up in, but when he does depart, he realizes that his thinking is but a load of crap. It doesn't work that way. You carry those beatings and bruises and broken bones along with you to remind you of where you came from, and sometimes, more often than not, the outside world triggers the old responses and the prison life carries on beyond the prison walls. And there is nothing these people can do about themselves. It is who they are. Berating them, guilting them, shaming them to stop is laughable at best. It will only spur them on, challenge them to do more and to do better. Telling them to stop is like telling a snake to stop being a snake. He simply will not do it. Though I did violence, stole, lied, cheated, sought thrills, screwed a few hundred women, I was never a full blown sociopath or narcissist. I actually have a conscience. Obviously, you do as well, or you wouldn't be here. For example, as a violent, ruthless teenager, I stole from stores and other places of business, but breaking into and or stealing from someone's home was out of the question for me. I even berated my criminal friends for doing it and refused to join them and warned them to keep clear of my house or they'd be shot. But a store? No problem. Take whatever you can get away with, thought I. Some rich guy owns this and he won't miss a thing. That was my stupid line of thought many years ago. There are plenty of people who don't have empathy or conscience. They just don't care who they hurt. In fact the more that get hurt the better, the more they like it. We all have sociopathic and narcissistic traits. But there is a healthy narcissism, and, in self defense, for one example, tapping into our sociopathic traits, temporarily disregarding the feelings and well-being of the criminal we are trying to save ourselves from being murdered by just might be a good thing to have in the moment. It could save our very life.

Sometimes your interference will only make things worse. When the child gets home, the child could end up getting a mouthful and perhaps a fistful of, "Did you see how you embarrassed me in front of that man in the store today? You acted up in front of everyone and made me have to grab you. Well, now, I'm really going to give you something to cry about..." Most of the time, when we try to do good, we only make things worse, like the State. There's nothing wrong with you wanting to get involved and make a difference, but I would certainly change my approach. Aside from getting involved with direct intervention, as in the case of obvious, outright, vicious abuse, e.g., punching, kicking, shaking, out-of-control screaming, etc. I will not tolerate the sight of anything like that from anyone. I will confront you directly, even physically, if necessary. I will call you out so loud it wakes up the whole neighborhood and has everyone's attention whether or not they like it. That I will not stand for. I know, it's a difficult thing for the self-righteous among us to think in this manner, but it works... show compassion not only for the child, but also the strugggling, frustrated parent. Your walking up and berating, guilting, and shaming her sure didn't help matters any, obviously. She's abusing the child, now you're abusing her. You just piled abuse on top of more abuse. Next thing you know, there's an argument, and possibly a fight. Someone convinced against their will is of the same opinion still. The child will only get caught up in the middle of it, and end up more abused, more terrified. Instead of approaching in the self-righteous manner, approach with a big smile and a cheerful attitude, "Uh! Oh! What's the matter here?" Smile at the child, wink, and assure him with your body language that everything is all right and that this is all just a big misunderstanding we are going to fix up in a jiffy. Mom will take the hint and join in as though nothing is happening. She does not want to be more embarrassed than she is already. "Is there something I can help you with, Ma'am, is there something I can get for you? Listen, we've got a big box of really good donuts in the break room, would you and mom like a nice, fresh donut? How'd that be?" Again, smile, let everyone know everything is OK. Change the subject, change the scene to something more and more positive and alluring. A few years back, eating in a restaurant, brunching with some friends, there was a family sitting a couple of tables away. It was a Sunday, everyone nicely dressed, just got out of Church, I supposed. The family had a crying baby at the table with them. As they tried to sit and enjoy their meal, the babe got louder and louder, and was soon all-out bawling. No one at their table could soothe the child, no matter what they did. And they were beginning to get frustrated and lose their cool. The screaming babe was disrupting the entire dining room and everyone was beginning to stare at them. Enough. I got up from my table and went over to them and held out my hands to an obviously frustrated grandmother who was red in the face with embarrassment. She handed the baby to me and I held her close and started to whisper to her. She got a little quieter and started to calm down as I walked her around the dining room. Soon, other diners wanted to get a peek at the babe, so I bent down to them and gave them a peek as the child calmed down. They smiled and cooed at the little one. Soon, an old woman stood up in my way and held out her arms and took the babe and played and smiled at her for a minute, then handed her back to me. Then a little girl came away from her table and I knelt down to the child and allowed her to carefully hold the baby and give her hugs and talk to her. Soon the baby was laughing, smiling, having a good time. By the time I got back around to the parent's table, the baby was quite content and I handed her back to mom, who thanked me and smiled and offered to buy my breakfast. "No, no, that won't be necessary. You folks enjoy your Sunday." I sat back down and finished my cold brunch. I was walking through Big C the other night, shopping in Nakhon Pathom. A woman was berating her son and daughter in an aisle in the store. The son continued crying and would not let go of an item he had in his hand and the mother responded by smacking the back of his hand so hard he screamed. You could hear the "whap!" from one end of the aisle to the other. Then she continued berating him on top of that, in a voice as loud as thunder. No one said a word or even batted an eye. This sort of thing is quite normal here, in fattening, deteriorating Thailand, the land of the narcissist supremes. Then the abuser continued walking up and down the aisles. shooting off her mouth, screaming at her brood. Again, no one batted an eye. Now, if you were to try and get involved in a scene like this, you would be promptly told to fuck off and mind your own goddamn business. It all depends on where you are, who you are. Context is everything. Sometimes just staying out of it and minding your own business is best. "Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and, besides, the pigs like it." George Bernard Shaw Things aren't getting better, people, and they aren't going to. Not yet anyway. Be careful out there. And be good to yourselves--and frustrated parents! We're all on our way to hell in a narcissistic handbasket! Happy Ntopic New Year!

I agree with ditching the wedding altogether. Big expense. Big pain. Why throw a party so others can come and get sauced at your expense? I don't even get sauced myself, why should I pick up someone else's tab? We rented ourselves a cabin in the mountains in the winter following our spring wedding down at the JOP. When my daughter got married, they were planning a big shin-dig, but I stepped in to the rescue. I suggested they get a couple of witnesses, get the JOP to do the job, then sneak off for a little vacation together, if they cared to, and be done with it. They did just that. Saved all their cash and bought a second house.Thanked me later. Smartest thing they ever did.

Ah, thanks. I didn't think of that! I am going to try the Trusty Tahr, and if that don't work, I will just stick with Saucy Salamander. It's no longer supported, but, hey, it still works like a charm! Thanks again!

So, what's up with the Ubuntu Utopic Unicorn 32-bit downloads that won't boot on my 32-bit machines? I downloaded three already and not one will boot from either of my old 32-bit machines. They boot fine on my new machines however. I need one of the major Linux distros for a Linux course I am taking and decided to go with Ubuntu. I don't want to use one of my new machines for the course, so I broke out a couple of old 32-bit laptops that will work fine. But no go with any of the latest Ubuntu operating systems. I want Ubuntu because it runs best on my old hardware. I ended up installing an old Saucy Salamander 13.10 cd I had lying in the drawer, which is no longer supported. When I went to upgrade, that's when I found none of the new .iso I got would boot from the old hardware-even though it is (allegedly) 32-bit! What's up with this? Anyone find this problem?

My wife couldn't wait to get hitched. I met her when I lived in Las Vegas. She came here from Thailand and kept hounding me about getting married (wanted citizenship and to start working toward her son's citizenship immediately afterward). I was in no hurry. I could've cared less.). I made it very clear to her that more children was out of the question anyway, so why all the fuss about getting married? She persisted. Finally, one day, on a rare day off we had together, I told her I had to go to the government center to get some stuff done and that she should come along with me. She acquiesced. Before she knew what was happening, we were standing in line to get the marriage license. This made her very happy and surprised, and we got the job done and got the license. As we were walking out with the license in our hand, she kept asking what we needed to do next. I told her there was any number of ways we could proceed, we could do this and we could do that, and blah, blah, blah. As we were discussing the matter, we passed by a woman sitting on a bench outside the building, who overheard us and jumped in, "Yes, you could do any one of those things, among others, or you could just walk across the street to the Justice of the Peace right now and he will hook you up for a fee. It's that building right there on the corner. You kids knock yourselves out." "Well, thank you very much for the tip!" "You're welcome!" At that, we walked over to the JOP and we were officially hitched in less than an hour. Been hitched for thirteen years now.

I didn't mean to imply she's a bloodsucking parasite. Nothing of the kind. I don't mean to imply that there is something wrong with them wanting all of your money. What I am saying is that is how they do things in their culture. I am pretty far from racist. My wife is Thai/Chinese. Speaks four languages, writes three; English, Cantonese, French, and Thai. Been married to her for over thirteen years now. Lived here in Asia off and on for all of that time. Had many Asian girlfriends, from Thailand, China, Cambodia, Vietnam. Speak some of the language. This is how the culture works. This is how they do things. There is nothing wrong with it. There is nothing malicious about it, but to a Westerner with no experience in these matters, it might seem malicious. It isn't. It's just the way it is. Sounds like your wife is Westernized. If she's been living in a Western culture since she was two, she is hardly "Vietnamese" any longer, except by "blood", whatever that's supposed to mean. To my mind, "blood" and "race" means nothing, absolutely nothing. There is only one race: the human race. And I'll say it again, from vast experience, the differences between Eastern and Western cultures are so vastly different as to be almost completely incompatible. I often tell people from East and West I meet, that if they are getting together to make a relationship they should plan on doing things one way or the other, the Eastern way or the Western way. But sounds like you don't have any of these problems to begin with. Wife is Western. Nothing to it. You are of the same mind already, sounds like. You did not make this clear in the outset of your post. Best of everything to you.

Does she have an ex? If so, do they have a child or children between them? If so, expect to pay out for them, too. Yes, the ex included. You are a bank account to the family already. A cash register. They want the money. All of it. Everything you've got. This is why they want the marriage, too. Is she a citizen? Is she hounding you about citizenship? With the Asians, the money is pooled. Everything everybody makes is expected to go into the kitty, and usually a big mama controls all of it and runs the show. The most money goes to, usually, a golden child. This is just the way it is. This is the culture. There are exceptions, but not many. So, if your partner is not controlling your money already, get control of it right now. Get tight control of it. Every penny. If she asks you for anything, find out exactly what the money is for, and who will be getting it. Then make a rational decision based on the answers she gives you. If you give the money, demand receipts. You will get no sympathy for the abuse you suffer or that you have suffered or that you will suffer. Asians simply do not understand this. They see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. It's "bad luck" to talk about your bad past. Give up the past and move on. Don't talk about it anymore. It's the only way. This, too, is merely a part of the culture. Get used to it. These are people who watch with indifference children who have fallen on the ground, flat on their faces, and get hurt, and scream for help. They don't move a muscle to help them. These are people who watch with indifference as animals, hit by cars, and struggling along on broken limbs, are completely ignored. These are people who don't get out of the way for ambulances who clearly have their lights on and their sirens screaming. The differences between the Western and Asian cultures are so radically different as to be almost completely incompatible. Read everything you can. Go visit the country and meet everyone and find out what is going on. Don't trust anyone and leave anything to chance. Choose carefully.

I like both Kaki and MMX2010 arguments. While any experiences, background, environment, genetics, physiology, etc., are highly influential in shaping the individual's sexuality, desires, activities, etc., it is also true that when we grow up and become big boys and girls we can choose what we want and what we don't want. We can raise our awareness and self-knowledge, adapt, expand, and work with what is given.

I stack one ounce rounds, ten ounce bars, and one hundred ounce bars. I've found that's the easiest way to handle and store silver. I like to buy junk silver, too; it's easiest to keep that in coin bags.

Those are some sweet prices. When I moved to NV in late 2001, I started buying lots of silver. I was getting it for less than $4.00 per toz. Man, would I like to see that again! Because, for me, silver is for buying, not for selling.

Ah, yes, this explains everything. The little Stefbots on parade. They have no mind of their own. Poor Stef. He has a lot of work to do. Just what I thought. Zero.

As for the first remark, sure, you could say that's a "logical fallacy", but then again, so many things could be read into that statement, it could have so many different meanings, one would have to ask the author exactly what he meant by that remark before drawing any conclusions. I haven't talked to him and would not venture to guess what he meant. It's sophistry to say that the comment is sophistry. A "false premise"? You don't have to look very far to see that our "modern sexual interactions are devastatingly corrupt." Our ancient sexual interactions are devastatingly corrupt, too. Has there ever been a time in human history when they were not? Sex has always been, and likely will always be, used purely for social and anti-social purposes, as well as for pure pleasure, so long as mankind walks the earth. So long as the parties involved are acting of their own free will, what's corrupt about it? It's like listening to music. We pick the kind of music we like and listen for pleasure. It's the same with sex. We pick the partners we like, and have sex purely for the joy of it. That's what I do. Of course, the kind of person who finds no joy in sex would not subscribe to that idea, and there are plenty of these kinds of people about. Obviously, I am not one of them. And if someone is forcing someone else to do it, it isn't sex, it's violence. Nor am I trying to procreate. In fact, that is not desirable for me. I don't want any more children. So, procreation, for me anyway, is not only undesirable, I actively seek to be sure it does not happen, that it is in fact never the result of a sexual experience I have with any of my partners. My partners and I are always protected against procreation. We are not having sex to procreate. We are having sex purely for the pleasure of it and nothing else. "Other than that, if you want to have multiple lovers, there is nothing wring with that. It's nothing new." This is "science", "logic", and "reasoning"? Your comment is backed by what science, logic, and reasoning? Your own? Where did you get an idea like that? And what "science", "logic", and "reasoning" brought you to this conclusion? "It's nothing new"? What does that have to do with anything? What if it was something new? What then? Would there still be nothing "wring" with that? Or would something now be "wring" with that? According to your "science", "logic", and "reasoning", there's nothing "wring" with anything so long as it isn't something new? If it's new, there's got to be something "wring" with it and therefore we should refrain from doing it? What the bloody hell are you talking about? What will you try to "science", "logic" and "reason" your way into or out of next? Are you going to try and tell me that whores, sluts, harlots, doxies are "evil" and that snakes talk?