neeeel
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Posts posted by neeeel
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That Christian countries fought each other means that countries fight. Have we discovered countries that don't fight? That Christians fought abroad in the Crusades was a very good thing, beating back the Islamic hordes who had previously conquered Christian Middle East, Turkey, and North Africa and who long salivated over the prospect of dining on Europe proper.
no, you dont get to claim 1 thing for islam, and then dodge the same thing for christianity. You dont get to go its islam when islam is violent, but its countries when christians fight.
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If Islam does not encourage violence, then why aren't all religions equally violent?
They were. Christianity, at least, had no problem with fighting and wars, and christian nations spent hundreds of years fighting each other , or going abroad to fight others. Just because they arent like that now doesnt mean anything.
Actually, that's not what you said. I agree with this quote here. In fact, in my first post here, I said "If one of them doesn't initiate the use of force, what difference does it make if some entity tells him to? Likewise, if one does initiate the use of force, what difference does it make what their motivation was? The aggression is the problem."
There's a difference between claiming that a book or religion is not the cause of their violence and saying that religion cannot be violent. You sort of moved the goalposts there. Also, if you accept that a child needs to be traumatized in order to speak the language of dysfunction/aggression/violence, then I could argue that a book or religion could very well be the cause of violence.
Imagine a pair of parents who for the most part possess self-knowledge, are rational, and very much in a healthy, bonded relationship. They get pregnant and do not expose the carrying mother to stress or potentially damaging drugs. The child is born and they don't mutilate its genitals. They provide a loving home, with lots of contact and interaction. They don't abandon them to daycare or government schools. They do everything right they possibly could... except they also regard a fictitious book as not only factual, but a template for how to live life. This is all the trauma a developing being needs to have the capacity for aggression later in life. I know that some of the aggression I've engaged in in my life was in defiance of being mentally caged by having a religion inflicted upon me.
yes, my wording was probably imprecise, but that is what I meant, that I am disputing that the koran, or religion , is the cause of the violence. I am arguing that, lacking religion, peoples irrationality and violence would find outlets in other beliefs and activities. perhaps you could argue that religions are part of a large web of causes, and I might agree with that.
Imagine a pair of parents who for the most part possess self-knowledge, are rational, and very much in a healthy, bonded relationship. They get pregnant and do not expose the carrying mother to stress or potentially damaging drugs. The child is born and they don't mutilate its genitals. They provide a loving home, with lots of contact and interaction. They don't abandon them to daycare or government schools. They do everything right they possibly could... except they also regard a fictitious book as not only factual, but a template for how to live lifeAs stef sometimes points outs in calls, I am not sure something like this is possible. I dont think you can put a bit of irrationality off in a corner of your life. If you are irrational it keeps popping out in strange places, like whack a mole.
I think you undervalue the damaging potential of anti-rationality. I wish you would address it. To not makes it look like you have a prejudice/bigotry that you will not alter were you to learn it doesn't accurately describe the real world.I am not sure I do undervalue it. Its clear to me that beliefs in general, and particularly false beliefs, are the cause of pretty much all of the suffering and damage that happens today.
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I can program in python. Also have some experience in java, and am learning to make android apps. I might be interested in joining some sort of project
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Do you think if these entire cultures weren't indoctrinated to believe the Islamic scripture from childhood but instead taught UPB, logic, reason and critical thinking skills that they would have the same amount of extremists?
thats like saying, if everyone was nice, then would everyone be nice? Im not disputing that they are illogical or uncritical thinkers. I am disputing that the koran, and islam, is the cause of their violence and extremism.
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Are you saying there isn't violence encouraged or commanded by Allah in the Islamic scripture?
I dont know about commanded by allah. I havent read the koran, but I would guess there is some violent stuff in there. What I am saying is, extremists goin to extreme, if there wasnt the koran, there would be something else. Its not like they read the words and it turned them into a blood crazed maniac.
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I think I am better off without them next year as I can't stand this open hypocrisy, I think my feelings about them were right all along. These people are narcissistic and constantly need approval and validation from each other and because I don't play into their game, they want to exclude me. Then my inner child feels fear of abandonment, and then I blame myself for not going after them?
I dont think labelling them as narcissistic is useful, or even correct. Of course I dont know the full story, or them. From what you have told us so far, all I can see is them trying to deal with a situation without too much stress or hurt for anyone. Just because you dont get on with them, doesnt make them narcissistic.
I have noticed that you seem to be doing a lot of "religious" thinking, that is, assigning motives and thoughts to other people that you cant possibly know.
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Omg that last link is terrifying... What a neutered man...
The kid knows. The father doesnt. Thats how fucked up things are. He knows flowers dont do anything against bad people, and you can see the confusion on his face when his father says "we have flowers". And this video is comforting people?
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I am not sure what you are asking for here.
It seems like the problem is already solved. You dont like them. They dont like you. They are moving out.
What more do you need to do? What would you like to happen? It seems like there is something else going on that I am not clear about.
I get the feeling that you "need to know" something from them, what would that be?
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I agree they are free to leave me if they want, I am just angry at their dishonesty about it as I can almost guarantee that if I ask them where they went that they would lie to me.
I honestly feel like I want to just confront them about it as I am sick of all this passivity in dealing with them.
To be honest, I don't really like them, I honestly don't, I think it's just my fear of abandonment making me react this way, or the fact that I feel rejected by them?? But then I remember that if they reject my true self, then are they worth being with?? I feel that they betrayed me because they act friendly in front of me, but do these kind of things behind my back. And also because none of them told me anything, but I am only on bad terms with one of the house mates?
Honestly after spending some time looking at my feelings of anger and rage, I am just tired of having to be my false self to keep up with socializing with them, which is why I have withdrawn from them and try to spend more time looking at my own emotions?
It sounds like a lot of dishonesty, and avoidance, is going on from both sides. No one is being open about what the other thinks/feels about this. Instead of hearing what they may say (they dont like you, or dont like living with you ) you are saying how they are hurting you, or lying to you. If you react with anger and rage to them, why would they want to open up to you about whats going on?
Are you sure they are rejecting your true self?
It does sound like you are very angry with them. you havent said much about why? Is it the feelings of betrayal? Or is there more?
You say you really dont like them. So whats the problem? If you dont like them, why would you feel rejected? do you want to say more about that?
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I did state that saying my brother is a non violent muslim wasnt proof of anything
The extremists are extreme, not because of the koran, but because they are fucked up.
I am not sure a religion can be violent.A religion isnt a thing in the same way that state isnt. People in general are violent.
I can see that I am not explaining my point well, or perhaps its just a bad point. I will leave it there.
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I am not sure you could ( or should ) class it as betraying you. Do you have a written contract saying they must live with you?
They are free to do what they want ( within the NAP)
I also dont think focussing on fault is necessarily going to get you anywhere
I would recommend honesty, but I know that it can be hard to do. So, sit down with them, say, "I heard you talking about moving without me next year, I am quite upset about that, I like living with you guys. What are your reasons for this, can we sort this out, and if so, how?"
It sounds like you dont like living with them, though. So why do you want to live with them next year?
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I read a post somewhere else about Islam that really sums up the Religion of Peace nonsense. It said "If Islam were a religion of peace then Islamist extremists should be extremely peaceful". The evidence is clear that the opposite is what happens.
If islam was a religion of violence, then wouldnt all , or most, muslims be violent? My brother is a muslim, and he isnt a violent jihadist( not a disproof, for sure)
There is something else going on. I am not sure exactly what. but a book, in and of itself, cant do all this. perhaps it is just a clash between 2 incompatible cultures or belief systems, that can only end with the destruction of 1.
I have also heard theories of how, as the world gets smaller, and ideas are communicated more easily, beliefs have to get more extreme in order to survive, to appear attractive , to grab people, to motivate them. Perhaps this is what we are seeing. As it becomes easier to challenge beliefs and ideologies, people have to hold on more tightly, and scream louder.
But to just go "well, its a violent religion, isnt it" seems too simple, to me.
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It all comes down to teaching buggery in school. They've got to groom the next generation's crop of queers which they hope will be larger than the last. Don't underestimate the homosexual desire to convert straights. How would you feel if you were 2% of the population, surrounded by luscious specimens who had no interest in you, and in many cases felt repulsed by your behaviour?
Damn, I musta missed that class when I was in school.
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Somebody who is attracted or aroused by the pre-pubesent form IS NOT NORMAL. It means they have the disorder, factually known as PEDOPHILIA. Because that is the definition of pedophilia.
And that is the basis of my argument once again. Why do people think that I am sticking up for pedophiles ? I am sticking up for NORMAL people. Because NORMAL people are not susceptible to molesting children.
I think this is wrong. As JD points out, show me an adult male who doesnt find (teenage, at least) girls attractive , and I will show you a liar. So, unless you are going to say that attraction to teenage girls is not pedophilia, then normal people DO actually have an attraction to children.
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thanks to both for the advice and help
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Junk silver is a great plan. You can never have enough!
How do you decide what silver to buy? Is any junk silver good? Or just coins? How can I make sure the coins are genuine silver?
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hi, mahayana, thanks for your reply.
I am not trying to have a go at you as a parent, or tell you what you should do , even. I am just saying, examine EVERYTHING. We get locked into beliefs and behaviours so easily, without even realising it.
It sounds like you are a good parent to your daughter, and are really considering what you are doing, and that is good.
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Ok, I might totally be wrong about this. I'm under the impression that having structure leads to the ability to focus & be motivated. To have a weekly schedule where you accomplish certain tasks gives one a sense of discipline. I think kids crave a little structure in their lives. I don't want to go overboard but I'd like to have somewhat of a routine. One idea is to have 15 minutes of cleanup before bedtime. Even things like reading a book before bedtime is something I'd consider as structure. My daughter loves being read to & we often run out of time in order to have her in bed at 8:30.
I am always wary of these statements, such as "children need boundaries" , "children need discipline", "parents need to present a united front". Perhaps they are true, but I dont think they are useful. They can be used to justify lots of things.
I dont understand why you would "run out of time" when you reach 8:30. Why would you not keep reading if she loves it so much? Read till she falls asleep, or you get bored. Why would you ration your time with her in order to stick to some structure that is self defined and applied?
My suspicion is that its you that desires structure, not your daughter. Do you feel that, if you dont structure things, you will get nothing done?
If I allow my daughter to only do fun things, how will she be when she's required to do something difficult? I want her to be able to follow through with things that are challenging & not give up. For now, I'd like her do a few simple weekly tasks so she can learn about responsibility.Does doing a few weekly tasks, that are applied to you from outside, teach about responsibility? I am not so sure it does. I suppose it depends how you are doing it. Do you discuss this with her? Do you ask her if there is anything she would agree to do? and then, if she agrees, you can point that out when she doesnt do what she agreed to. I am not sure being told to take out the garbage at a certain time every day will lead to anything but arguments and resentment.
So where do you think motivation comes from? My childhood had absolutely no structure & I struggle a lot with being motivated. I'm trying to make sure the same mistakes aren't repeated.I would guess that motivation comes from either a) doing things that you enjoy doing, so you want to do them more , or b) realising that in order to reach a goal that you hold important, you need to do some things you dont like, but because the goal is important to you, you do them anyway. Having arbitrary rules and regulations applied to you from above, does not seem anything to do with motivation. motivation comes from inside, not outside.
I would guess that your issues dont come from the lack of structure, but that what you perceive as a lack of structure came from the underlying issues of your parents. That is, the mistake the parents made wasnt "lack of structure", but their deep seated issues, whatever they were, lead you to not being motivated.
My childhood was quite structured in terms of meal times, bed times, rules, etc, and I also struggle with a lack of motivation.
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By lack of structure I mean that there isn’t anything she does consistently other than going to school. The rest of my daughter’s free time is usually spent doing what she wants which is usually playing, coloring & drawing. I try to do a little homework each day with her but a lot of times were catching up on it the day before it’s due. My daughter is very used to doing what she wants to do. I’m not saying this is bad, but I believe that could be what’s leading to her problem focusing. Structure is important to me because I know first hand the consequences of not having it
What are the consequences of not having structure?
What sort of structure would you like your daughter to have, that she doesnt have now?
My daughter had her annual physical a couple weeks ago, and when I told our pediatrician some of my concerns, she said it sounds similar to ADHD. Her first question was what our home life/daily routine was like. When I said my daughter was ADHD-like, I was admitting that I must be doing something wrong to have caused my daughter’s attention issues. After I noticed the issues at soccer, I checked in with my daughter's teacher to see how she was doing in class. She mentioned that on occasion she was having a hard time following directions with school work. I've seen this myself when we're working on homework together. She'll mess up on something & I'll show her how to correct it. She'll erase & rewrite the same wrong answer. She does this often. It's like her mind is elsewhere and she’s only partially listening. I know she's only 6 and and of course her mind is wandering when she's doing common core homework. I don't mean to make a bigger deal out of it than it is, but I'm just concerned that she isn't able to focus as well as her peers.I understand your concern. I am sure you are wary of labelling as well. I would guess that gently guiding and helping her with tasks like homework will help, and she will develop at her own pace.
I’m definitely concerned about how she’ll turn out in the future. I remember a call in show a while back from a listener who had a teenage daughter. The dad was concerned because the daughter was having motivational problems. All she wanted to do was sit at home & play minecraft. I can’t remember all of the details but I remember the dad was all about unschooling and admitted the daughter's childhood was very unstructured. He was more of a friend than a dad & let her do whatever she wanted at home. Stef told him that unschooling doesn’t mean not having any structure whatsoever. That is exactly what I want to avoid and I wan’t to correct it now while she’s still young enough to change. Maybe you’re right and she doesn't need changing but it won’t hurt to make some changes at home. For example, we could start sitting at the table for dinner instead of eating in front of the TV. Maybe my daughter can take on some simple weekly chores so she can learn about being responsible.Im not sure that structure provides motivation.
Imagine what would happen if she asked you why fold clothes at all. Can you explain this cultural habit to her in a logical way? I don't know if I could! And that's the point. When people use words like structure and chores, I think they're starting from the conclusion that the parent is automatically right. I'm not saying you here since your reaction to ADHD suspicion is humble (which I appreciate!). But you are using the terminology, so I thought maybe this would be a helpful way to look at it a bit differently.This is kind of what I was trying to get at, and I think its an important point. sometimes we get locked into things that are kind of irrelevant, and feel that we need to pass them on to our children, when we probably dont
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It sounds like she does have structure ( eg in the soccer practice, there is a structure there to help her learn and practice). Are you sure you have identified the problem correctly? Perhaps she is more interested in messing around with the other girls, than following instructions, is that a bad thing?
Its not really clear what you mean by "a lack of structure"? Can you give some examples? What you wrote isnt an example of lack of structure, its an example of her not paying attention, or not completing the drills. I wouldnt necessarily call those a behavioural problem.
Perhaps it is your projection of the need for structure that is troubling you? Perhaps you having uncomfortable thoughts about how she will be in the future? Can you know that it will turn out that way?
Why is structure important to you?
Have you talked to her about it? In a curious and open manner?
Its interesting that you identify ADHD as being "caused" by ineffective parenting, and then go on to class your daughter as ADHD-like.
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The real question revolves around the fact that who controls our body is merely an accident of nature.
Your question only makes sense under the assumption that there are some sort of ( ethereal or otherwise) "whos" floating around that can control bodies, and that could possibly have been put, or arrived in, different bodies by an accident of nature.. This is obviously not true.
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What you quoted doesn't claim they exist. I understand the distinction you are making and if I've ever said property rights exist, then you are correct that "property rights is a valid concept" would be more precise and accurate.
People are responsible for their actions where they are voluntary and understood is true independent of individual consciousness. Hence objective morality.
Im not sure what you mean. You said "I'm talking about objective reality. Where your life IS your property. " unless I have misunderstood, this means that , in objective reality , there is such a thing as property, and life is the property of you.
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I'm not talking about personal opinion, I'm talking about objective reality. Where your life IS your property.
Im not sure you can claim that property rights exist in objective reality, given that they are a concept, and dont exist in the same way that USA doesnt exist.
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I think you should cut yourself a bit of slack.
The pressure you describe yourself under at school, the pressure to get a girlfriend etc, sounds exactly like the pressure you are putting yourself under to be productive.
Theres nothing inherently wrong with video games, and you are likely to be using them to avoid something, some pain or distressing feelings/memories. Thats ok, dont be hard on yourself for doing that.
Are you in therapy at all? You say you have had no one and no emotional support. It sounds like therapy is something you would really need.
I think I am a sociopath
in Self Knowledge
Posted
I would be wary of self diagnoses. I have noticed that whenever I read descriptions of psychiatric disorders, I always seem to match them. I surely cant have them all! Do you think if a sociopath read the description of a sociopath, he would go "oh, thats me" ?