I just finished reading Stefan's book Real Time Relationships. Towards the end of the book, he gives an example conversation between a mother and a daughter, where the daughter feels a sinking feeling upon talking to her.
The idea is that simply by telling your mother how you feel as you progress, she will run through all sorts of defenses and appeals to various emotions as a strategy of controlling you instead of doing the thing that should come natural: being curious.
My question is this: what should a conversion look like if the person on the other side doesn't start coming up with defenses? And if you can't offer a reason, (like, "I think I feel stressed at our conversation because you always put me down.") how do you continue the conversion if they just say something like "Well, I'm sorry for that. What do you want me to do?" or even if they just ask "Why do you think you feel that way?" If you then proceed to say, "Because you always put me down", they can just launch into 'story time' like the book says to avoid.
Any clarification from others that have read the book is appreciated. The part that I'm referring to begins on page 254.
Thanks