[What about crypto anarchy]

Nothing. Once anonymous transactions become available for everybody, the state dies away. For more read Snowcrash, where the president of the United States lives in a trailerpark in Alaska

Why would it die away when it can still tax? Just because people would be using a currency without or with limited inflation won't stop the other ways government is funded. It's a huge step forward, and does place a limit on government, but certainly won't be the end of it.

[Question about Real Time Relationships]

You may want to avoid using "always" statements. When you say, "You always put me down," you're giving them ammo because there is plausible deniability within that statement. No one always does anything. Were they putting you down when they woke up that morning and had coffee? When you take your language to the extreme it often breaks down the conversation. You could say, "I perceive that you always put me down," or you could cite a specific example, "I felt put down after you said _____ ." 

 

Feelings in RTR are evidence, and they are untouchable. No one can argue with your feelings because they just are; they are involuntary responses. Conclusions, on the other hand, you can argue with. 

 

Starting with a conclusion like "You always put me down" isn't an exploration. It may be totally accurate, but all you really know is how you feel. When they ask you why you feel a certain way, you can honestly say that you don't know for sure, but this thing happened right before. Clarify that you don't know if it was truly the thing that made you feel that way. Because there could be other things going on, maybe the thing reminded you of a childhood experience where you felt put down. The key is to explore it with curiosity and stay connected to your feelings. If you start to feel overwhelmed, tell them and disengage. 

 

Does that make sense?

 

I'm not an expert or anything. The first time I tried RTRing with my mom I froze up. She did the same thing, she asked me why I felt anxious, and I didn't know what to say. In her case, she wasn't asking out of curiosity. She asked in order to pick apart and tear down whatever I had to say. I told her I didn't feel close to her, and she scoffed and dismissed this immediately. I didn't stand up for myself and call her on the invalidation. She started on "story time" about how inconvenient I was being. It's tough when someone is getting defensive and starting to move quickly to stay connected to how you are feeling. A little later in the conversation she screamed at me and called me names. It was painful, but it gave me some resolution. Of course I was afraid to tell her how I felt, she attacked me for my feelings. 

 

It's very difficult to RTR with someone who isn't RTRing back. You're under no obligation to even try with these kinds of people, but if you are uncertain, like I was, and make the attempt, you learn very quickly if they are open to it or not. 

 

Good luck. 

 

Right - my bad for using the word always. You're right about that, of course.

 

I was going to repeat what I originally asked: What would you say if they just said something like "Okay. What do you want me to do about it?" in response to telling them that I felt stressed when talking to them. I just realized from reading your example, though, that you would probably just tell them how that response made you feel. Something maybe like "I don't know. I just feel like ___".

 

Thanks for the response.

[Question about Real Time Relationships]

I just finished reading Stefan's book Real Time Relationships. Towards the end of the book, he gives an example conversation between a mother and a daughter, where the daughter feels a sinking feeling upon talking to her.

 

The idea is that simply by telling your mother how you feel as you progress, she will run through all sorts of defenses and appeals to various emotions as a strategy of controlling you instead of doing the thing that should come natural: being curious.

 

My question is this: what should a conversion look like if the person on the other side doesn't start coming up with defenses? And if you can't offer a reason, (like, "I think I feel stressed at our conversation because you always put me down.") how do you continue the conversion if they just say something like "Well, I'm sorry for that. What do you want me to do?" or even if they just ask "Why do you think you feel that way?" If you then proceed to say, "Because you always put me down", they can just launch into 'story time' like the book says to avoid.

 

Any clarification from others that have read the book is appreciated. The part that I'm referring to begins on page 254.

 

Thanks

[Three Potential Paths to a Free Society]

Why is that an oxymoron?

his definition of society probably means having a government.