SarahHurn

Stef answered the question in the recent call in show, he said a general rule of thumb of the time it takes to recover and be ready for a new relationship is half the time of the failed one.. so in this case 6 years!

Brilliant, I'll try that!!

Hi all, I have a friend who is currently seperating from his wife of 12 years and he rang me to tell me he has already got into another relationship. I totally freaked out and told him a whole bunch of reasons why it was a very bad idea, for his wife, himself and the new woman. He also has a son so I also told him he should have his head in books that will help him be able to support his son through this time and hang his balls up for at least 12 months, and also of course any energy should be going into finding ways to make things work for their family to stay together. He was taken aback, and said he felt frustrated that I wasn't happy for him. I want to know if anyone knows links to good sources that give stats about this kind of thing, and how long is the right time to wait before even considering a new relationship. I remember Stef saying a month for every year you've been in a relationship or maybe it was more than that. So in this guy's case at least 12 months. I'm not too good at looking for reliable information on the web, everything I've googled is stuff like "you'll know when the time is right" and shit like that, or divorced parents trying to justify their poor choices. I would like some stats that show failure rates of starting relationships too soon after long term relationships or psychology advice to give to my friend, he is open to me challenging him but I want to do it with facts. If anyone can point me in the right direction I'd be grateful for your help and time. Sarah

Yes, wrong spelling on my part, it's Dayna Martin, yes that's who I meant. She hosted one of the FDR call in shows in March 2013. //I'm just now starting on my journey of gaining self-knowledge and learning more about philosophy.// That's great, I am too. I'm so grateful to have found this path by people willing to speak up from experience and from having a passion for peaceful parenting.

Hey Jaeger, your kids all sound very intelligent and interesting. It will be great as my kids grow to witness how their interests develop organically. A bit about my background: I was bought up in a closed fundamentalist Christian group which my husband and I started detaching from 8 years ago. I had a very strange and abusive childhood. I was stuck for 6 years before I read an unschooling book by Dana Martin and started listening to FDR about the same time (2.5 years ago). Something instantly attracted me to both and it was only a matter of weeks before I pulled my then 6 year old daughter from school. We have worked hard to bring our family back together after some really hard times as we left the relgion, and after listening to FDR and getting more into philosophy, leaving our families too who are all apart of this very damaging group. As I've been trying to define my values for the first time, without the involvement of religion, I've found FDR to be a life line, I have learnt how to think more logically about many things in my life like parenting and marriage and finances. The unschooling group is good for the ideas but some other suggestions I'm finding conflict with my new values and with philosophy. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been listening to FDR? Best regards, Sarah Jaeger, I'm also sorry to hear about your disease, I googled it as I didn't know what it was. It's great you can see the positives like being able to stay home, despite their being negatives too I'm sure.

I'm home with my two children 8 and 4 and we don't use a curriculum, but go with the unschooling model/philosophy. It's working fantastically and the kids are happy and interested in all sorts of things and we just love sharing our days together. Forcing a curriculum on your children will likely create power struggles, win-lose situations and do damage to the relationship. Unschooling is about trusting children and their natural curiosity and want for learning, it doesn't need to be forced. With information at our fingertips with the internet it seems ludicrous that children are still forced to memorise facts and dates at school. I've found that once my children find a passion it's a case of 'get out the way' because they won't stop until they've exhausted it and this is where good unschooling parenting comes into it too, where you can partner with your child so they can get the most out of their interests and introduce new ideas they maybe hadn't thought of. Done right, unschooling produces very closely bonded families. All the best!

I don't know why I clicked on this link, I stopped it once I saw how terrible it was. It was the most unnatural thing I've ever seen. Imagine what that child will turn out like. Holy shit.

Since listening to fdr I have finally made sense of the bible and been able to fully move on from guilt after being in a cult got 28 years. It has saved my marriage, we had seperated 3 months when we decided we needed to take responsibility for our choices and commit as parents to our two young children. Fdr really helped me grow in that time. It has changed my parenting radically and my 7 y/old is now school free. It has given me courage to be honest to my family, even though I am still very bad at it as I had been shown no win-win communication skills. Also.. helped me be clear about what virtue is and what it is not, helped me start to make decisions for my own life instead of getting blown along with the crowd and doing what is assumed. Philosophy is really mind blowing!