hewiestolarz

Oh well, I basically finished a desktop app that I submitted as my final project at school, but hell, I have to face that I am not qualified for the challenge. I guess it is just out of practice now, but till June - thats the date I said, right? - I'll also make a website where people could do the exercise regularly, and maybe look after how to host it and make it public. But I am just a student. I don't want to be people's only hope about such an app. I mean, it would be flattering, but I fear that I would fail them, since I am such an unexperienced programmer. I am not even in university, just studying software engineering in trade school.

Well, i was pretty rebellious as a teen, and I do remember why. It was because everyone constantly for a decade expected me to conform to their expectations, both in school and in home, while in the same time, no one showed any sign or interest whatsoever in changing their behavior based on my feedback. Like, i should respect their feedback, but when i attempt to provide feedback about how my parents' performan their role as parents or my teachers' perform their role as education providers, i would be punished and verbally abused in return. So resentment towards those people who provided me negative feedback without any respect of curiosity for my feedback began to build up. The relationship was completely one-sided in its nature, and I found that to be unjust to the core. And I felt angry and resentful and sad about the one-sided nature of the relationship, i felt it to be deeply unjust that they impose behavioral standards on me that they show no willingness to apply to themselves. So what happened is that when as a teen i realized that i am no longer small and no longer utterly dependent, and i gained the ability to actually express this built-up anger in a direct manner, I no longer needed to contain it all in myself. So my one-sided relationship with my parents merely became mutual and two-sided. The same way they rejected my criticisms and my feedback about them and reacted to it with verbal abuse, I began to react to their feedback and criticism with verbal abuse aswell. It was really all about the patterns they were setting into motion. The only reason i was a ,,good child" before was that i was unable to confront them and also unable to leave them. But when i grew older, and I was finally able to do both of these, I did. If my parents would have been curious of my opinion and really had a desire to meet my needs, moreover, would have showed any willingness to modify their behavior based on my wishes and feedback, I would have done the same to them - even as a teen. But they didnt care about me, so I didin't care about them either.

Thank you! Both for the encouragement, and the suggestions. I won't forget to post my work here.

A bit late answer, but this is going to be my final project as a software engineer student. It will be done by the end of June 2018. I started doing the exercise myself, and found it very useful, but really, writing all the sentences, keeping track of the phrases and the weeks and storing the finished sentences till the end of the week to review them could use some automation. Im going to give my best shot to creating a desktop application for the purpose, though I am yet to learn Android or/and IOS, so the idea of a mobile app has to wait.

Hungarian: http://ellenpropaganda.com/forums/

Be honest, and don't interact with people you don't have a safe bond with, like random peers or some faces in a party, because these unpredictable situations have a much bigger risk of rejection, and even after you learned how to be honest around the closest friends, those high-risk situations easily make you fall back into the trap. It is still going to be terribly difficult, as for rejected children the acceptance of others is like a life or death question, and every time you express an honest feeling, you will might also experience some sort of panic, like "ohmylord, this must be unpleasing for my partner to hear" and all the anxiety and fear and fast-beating heart coming with it, as you are programmed from childhood to think, that honesty or not pleasing your partner must be followed by the abandonment and pain. But the people you have a safe bond with hopefully wont reject you for your honesty, and by practicing it should become easier and easier later on. It is a very long time process, very painful and difficult, and it might requires a supporting and honest partner. I hope it helps.