CaliforniaCoaster

With my acquaintances, it can be hard to keep from pointing out how they may be burdening the happiness of those around them in the society. For instance, if you have someone with a 130 IQ who chooses to live with their parents and work as a cashier at the local hardware store, assuming they are happy, is that really the best and most virtuous outcome? Isn't that person living drastically below their capabilities? If they are happy as a cashier, but might experience more pain and stress as a doctor, is it really the greatest choice to be a cashier? I've had conversations with many of my friends who tell me they do not want kids because it will effect their long term happiness in life. Even going as far as to say they don't want a significant other, since that could have the potential to add more stress to their life... Exploitation is a great avenue to take the argument down. However, how do we actually measure exploitation or personal happiness? There are hard measurements - like welfare usage, etc - but there are also soft measurements. (Who enjoyed a conversation more? What was the opportunity cost of a conversation? Etc. Choosing personal happiness as the most important variable quickly becomes maddening to measure.) If A is personal happiness, what is the definition of B? Material items? The motive for the happiness is besides the point. If the arsonist gets an endorphin rush of happiness from their rage or blood lust, they are still obtaining a short term happiness at the expense of others. What about the pizza driver in my example, assuming he is happy and content? If he argues that he has great amounts of happiness out of not exerting effort to change his current situation, and nobody feels he is exploiting anyone, is he really the winner in the game of life? If that was the case then why want anything? (Eastern philosophy enters) Happiness turns into a finance equation of limiting your expenses so much that any trickle of joy is amplified to fill up your reserves with bounding happiness. But since personal wants are all - well, personal - very quickly this turns back into an almost economics argument of who is exploiting who for "happiness" creation rather than capital creation.

Hello everyone, Hope all of the US members are enjoying the holiday weekend. I've been struggling lately with conversations with friends and associates about what is the most important thing in life. Many are arguing that personal happiness is all that matters, and that a homeless man who is happy, is "winning" at life compared to the guy struggling to support his family. It quickly turns into an almost religious argument, where all critique of another's life is invalid. Since you don't know if the 30 year old pizza delivery driver, still living at home with his parents, is happier than the accountant with a wife and kids, then you have no right to ask why the pizza delivery driver hasn't tried to achieve more in life. After all, worth is not measured in money, but in how "happy" you are. The place where I feel this argument falls apart is when one person's happiness is derived from causing others pain/discomfort. If it makes the arsonist happy to burn down your home, then it's difficult to make the statement that personal happiness is the most important thing in life, correct? After all, the arsonist's happiness is increased by burning your home. The "well if they're happy who cares" mantra is chanted everywhere these days. What is your opinion on the argument that personal happiness is the most important thing in life?

I'm also having this problem DaVinci. Personally I think it may come from a sort of vanity. That I see myself as being someone that will be something great one day, where as my environment and current struggles suggest I must have made a mistake somewhere along the way. For instance, I set myself up to work on wall street through my education, and I'm not getting and replies from even local financial firms for job offers. Which then leads me in my current situation to sit and think "Man, I must have fucked up somewhere along the line. This whole wallstreet life is a con, and I should have just used my savings to pay for a coding school so I could be making more money." So I agree with the other posters about it being from self-doubt. I'm currently also struggling a lot with it and don't know how to improve.

I am in no way qualified to talk about your history, and I don't doubt that the "free" mental health services of sweeden are garbage. However, as a fellow music lover and aspiring musician, I can sympathize with the music and career angle. I played gigs for years through my late teens and early 20s, and wanted nothing more than to "make it big" and be respected as an artist. Now, about your post. You're 44 years old. So you're old enough to be seen as an authority figure in a teaching environment. Have you considered giving music lessons, or starting a youtube channel where you advertise remote Skype lessons? If you have knowledge of instruments you can make some money finding used instruments for a good price, cleaning em up and re-selling them. There's still a lot you can do in the musical arts for some cash. Hell, one of my favorite guitarist was a Swedish dude who sold his own musical cover versions online. Will you ever make it big and be in a boy band? Probably not, but I don't see why you're depressed about not becoming a "musician." That's ridiculous anyway. If you can play an instrument well you're by default a musician... At 44 years old you're about 4 years away from a complete re-brand. At 48 you could have a new career and be doing something else if you don't like it, and since the time is ticking, if music isn't your choice then stop standing in the fire and jump the hell out of it into something new. Do music on the side as a relaxation crutch/hobbie and start making your life what you want it to be.

I forgot where I heard it, but someone said that if your car breaks down in the middle of an intersection and you're stranded, you don't wait for help (even if you're in over your head,) you get out and start trying to push. Once people see you trying to push more than your own weight, they are more likely to get out and try to help. If you feel like you have an amazing idea that just must be made, it's hard to convey that to others when you're not even trying to learn the code to make it. Even if the game seems WAY too advanced for one man to make, at least start learning so that you could be a better project manager should you get the resources to make your dream a reality.

Slightly off topic, but have you designed a way to teach your son the Trivium? From what I've read on the topic there is no specific "cannon," but rather just a focus on the classics and critical thinking.

I suspected the Trivium as part of the FDR degree, but I feel that while the trivium is a good base, elements of the Trivium should be covered already by high school graduation. Even if an FDR graduate degree is representative of the Trivium, how best would one even approach the study of the trivium in modern times? The scope of rhetoric for instance, can cover quite a bit. """ Rhetoricians have studied the discourses of a wide variety of domains, including the natural and social sciences, fine art, religion, journalism, digital media, fiction, history, cartography, and architecture, along with the more traditional domains of politics and the law.[8] Many contemporary approaches treat rhetoric as human communication that includes purposeful and strategic manipulation of symbols. Public relations, lobbying, law, marketing, professional and technical writing, and advertising are modern professions that employ rhetorical practitioners.""" (Wikipedia) Perhaps the Trivium can be a sort of "general ed" requirement to which the meaty bits of the FDR degree are added on top.

Hello everyone, I've been trying to figure out my own self-study program to learn philosophy and it got me thinking about how much fluff is added into your average university major. It seems that much of what is taught could be distilled into half a dozen or so courses that strike at the core of any given subject. For instance, I attempted to condense the UC San Diego philosophy degree and ended up with the following courses. (Feel free to post your own condensed versions of your university major program.) Introduction to Logic Symbolic Logic I History of Philosophy: Ancient History of Philosophy: Early Modern History of Philosophy: Late Modern Metaphysics Epistemology Philosophy of Science Which brings me to the question on the thread. Q: If a Bachelors Degree in Freedomain Radio existed, what would the course load look like and how would it be structured? Would a Freedomain Radio degree be strictly focused on philosophy? Should it be a (B.S.) degree or a (B.A.) degree? Would the course load consist of just reading Stephan's books, or would the course work also need to teach elements of statistical analysis, computer science, and history? What do you all think?

Thank you for all the great replies guys. I'd like to start doing more, but then my social anxiety acts up and I have intrusive thoughts and over analyze social interactions. I've done this for as long as I can remember. Most treatment is just "ignore your thoughts," but then I try to analyze why I have these kinds of self-defeating thoughts and why others don't. After reading your post I finally went through with contacting a CBT therapist in my area to work out some things. I'm worried about how seeking therapy will look in any background checks for jobs I've been applying for, but I need to be more solution oriented like you said and quit worrying about how things might be problems. While FDR has helped me a lot, they say for rumination and pure-ocd type treatments that only a CBT therapist using ERP has great success in treating OCD. So I hope to feel more confident with myself and to stop self-bullying and be more confident in my job search. Interesting. I didn't think about approaching it like that and seeing where the limits of empathy go. My girlfriend said one of their complaints with me is that I'm argumentative, so I don't want to be too coarse in upping the ante of rhetorical argument. What's the Bryan Caplan study? "The Myth of the Rational Voter?" I'm worried that her dad might take me up on that offer and kick my ass since he supposedly has an extremely high IQ. His friend joked about how he could join mensa if he wanted. When I was a kid (16ish) I scored a 136, but recently when I did the all visual one that's supposed to be accurate I scored a 115 and a 110 when I took it twice. (Maybe getting shitfaced drunk a few times and the increase in drinking/sex since my early 20s has made me a lot dumber then I realized) So I feel like even if I make a great argument, I'll still be seen as the guy from non-college graduate parents who is making their daughter hold "dumber" beliefs. Thank you for the economics link. I've been trying to apply for business / financial analyst jobs in banking and the private sector, but I've only gotten one interview. ( Failed it ) I have 6 years of work experience in lower level jobs and I'm still getting nothing. My "worldly philosopher" major is bullshit, especially when SJW types with bullshit degrees leap frog over me to get HR jobs at tech companies and in banking/marketing. I've even tried to separate myself by starting my own website and getting a portfolio going, but my resolve is grinding down by the day as I work my shitty retail job for minimum wage just trying to stay a float.

I think you're right in that I was not aware of my fogging. I'm not sure if it was to appease them 100% or if a part of me was also scared to move to a new state so it was the least resistance to just do nothing as it all happened. I mean, I don't even know how I really feel about it still and I'm unsure of how to get to "good enough" realizations on topics. I'm also not sure how to persuade myself, since that's a big problem with my ruminations. I question everything in my life to the point where I'm unsure of taking action out of fear that I could be lying to myself or hurt others. I'm unsure where this comes from, but the therapist I was able to see just told me I had " pure-ocd " like symptoms and that they are nothing but thoughts and to go out and do things in the world anyway. But then I'm trapped thinking about why I have certain thoughts, or doubting the reality I see around myself. (For instance, after I was cheated on, despite getting negative test results for STD's I would still get anxiety and worry that the test was a false negative and that I could potentially hurt my current gf. There are many other types of "doubting" themes like this that I will spend time worrying on.) I can't imagine mixing that stuff like your friend did. Just forgetting to take my dose for the day would cause me to get headaches. Yea, I'd say that my brain doesn't run like it used to before depression and SSRI's. As far as handing them out like candy - I argued with the therapist about starting them and he seemed like he didn't like me being against them. The medical doctor I had was old school (vietnam era) doc and he told me I should try just plain old CBT, but I didn't have the funds for that so I was stuck with the "free" SSRI option. I mean, in the end I made the choice to try SSRI's on the off chance they would end my ruminations and constant doubt. As a child I took IQ test and scored very well for my age, but then recently I took similar test and scored in the 110 to 115-ish area which made me even more depressed. Since most CEO types are IQ > 115 it sucks to feel like I might not have the hardware to achieve my goals. I know these online test are usually inaccurate, but it still annoys the hell out of me that I feel like my brain and cognitive abilities are in decline despite being in college for 6 years.

I am terribly sorry to hear that. Did he ever share what he was struggling with and why they prescribed him SSRI drugs? While I never felt like the SSRI was a danger to me, it definitely made me feel different than my own self. Unfortunately, SSRI's are heavily subscribed (and in MASSIVE dosages) for people who are believed to have Pure-OCD like symptoms. (Excessive research, doubt, anxiety, and rumination) They wanted me to go onto a very high dose and I flat out refused knowing that I may become dependent on these drugs.

I've researched a lot about rumination and Pure-OCD and how people treat it. Typically it's a lot of exposure and response therapy along with other CBT and mindfulness treatments. I've had different worries/obsessions that don't seem logical in the least. These thoughts feel like they are taking up CPU room in my brain, keeping me from fully focusing on things I want to achieve. Then again, the obsessions, anxieties, and thoughts could also be there to try to pull me back from getting hurt. A protective mechanism of sorts to keep me from achieving since it will shake up how people see me. Things with the girlfriend and pretty good. I'd say probably a consistent 5-9 on our worst and best days. I will have ruminations of all the things that could go wrong with the relationship, and worry about all kinds of "threats" that might sabotage what we have. So I don't like how I kinda kick myself out of enjoying the moment by always over analyzing everything. I found out when I had a small meltdown when I was in university. My girlfriend pushed to have me talk to a counselor and he told me that I have OCD symptoms but that he suspected that I was definitely depressed. He said the depression probably started first after some bad breakups with past girlfriends and that led to rumination which led to every fear seeming larger than life. They did end up putting me on SSRI drugs (Which I absolutely hated) for just under a year, until I decided to come off them and face my problems without them. It was also around this time that I discovered FDR, and watched the "Bomb in the Brain" series that led me down a path of introspection and growth.

I'm not sure it's my casual conversation abilities that's the problem. I had to have casual conversation abilities with people in retail all the time. My only problem is how much I hate self-erasing (probably due to my childhood and self erasing around my own parents to keep things peaceful.) So if I'm working and have to talk to many strangers about their political views (like doing polling,) then usually I just agree and smile and keep things nice. With her parents however, I try to be cool but at the same time feel strange that I have to self-erase around them. It's an uncomfortable feeling since I feel like I'm with their daughter, and would like to strive for a more honest relationship with them. Then again, if that's impossible maybe just accept the superficial relationship? I don't believe I have insulted them in any major way. Maybe they are insulted that I don't hold their views to a higher degree? Like change my mind on gun control when they tell me guns kill or something. The only thing I can think of is I debated (halfheartedly) on some of the topics that came up. I never use language like "Don't you understand that" or anything like that. The one thing we have done is talk about how quickly things at college have changed and the new challenges of the job market. It just pisses me off because I feel like I'm good to their daughter, but they act like I don't exist. When my girlfriend used to talk to her mom she would hear all about her sister and her sister's boyfriend, and how good he's doing trying to be a big screen writer. Where as they would show little to no interest in me. I found this odd since when I talked to my own family they would be interested in how my girlfriend and I were doing as a team. I'm not even sure my girlfriend could share my interest with them since my interest tend to fall into things they would argue about. If the relationship got better I feel like I would have more released mental energy to focus on other things. About a year before this I used a lot of energy trying to change the relationship I had with my own parents. (Still in works) However, I've dealt with very heavy ruminations and pure-ocd like symptoms for over a year now after a really hard time in my life. So even if I change these problems I'm not sure my life will improve at all, or if my attention will just change to some other area of my life to feel terrible about. I've been trying to figure out how to deal with some of the underlying anxiety and mood issues, but I can't seem to find any rumination / pure-ocd advice on FDR. It would be nice to feel like I'm myself and not in the closet around her parents. Hell, it would be nice if I was able to support myself and my girlfriend so I could feel more successful around her parents.

@ Dylan Lawrence Moore Yea, I graduated high school at the peak of the great recession, so I'm not sure that helped with my confidence as the only work I was able to find while attending college was low paying retail jobs. Other than that you're pretty spot on, just trying to exercise more to keep the lethargy away as I try to figure something out. @ thecurrentyear We decided to change our plans after her (the gf) parents sat her down and basically told her that moving to Texas would be "ruining her life." (Their exact words.) My girlfriend was also worried about moving states and not having insurance, which her parents were quick to remind her about. I told her that once she got a new job she could get new insurance, but then they told her that the medical care in Texas is sub-par. So in the end, I just ended the discussion since it was more of a team effort or none. (Since I'm planning on marrying her.) @ A4E I've thought about a call in to the show. I brought it up with her and she didn't dismiss the idea, but I'm not sure how comfortable she (or I) am with being that public about things. (People might recognize our voices, etc) -The guilt trips from her parents are likely having seriously negative effects on your gf's psychological health. Yea, she's taking it rough since her sister brought up how she shouldn't be making them worry since they are old and it can effect their health. -The relationship between your gf and her parents seems tense. And so obviously they are not going to have any productive conversations between them. That coupled with the guilt trips is evidence that the relationship she has with her parents is not well. And probably has not been for a long time. I've talked to her about this and she tells me she didn't think her relationship was poor with her parents until she stopped parroting what they desire her views to be. Also, when I was with them all visiting Liberal Mecca (San Francisco) they were talking about how they controlled my girlfriends finances even while she was attending college. I found this odd since my own parents basically told me to figure it out (with a little guidance) when I was learning how to apply for college, financial aid, taxes, etc. I never had my parents doing it all for my to where I was so dependent on them. My girlfriend keeps trying to get them to see how they were hurtful to her, and trying to get an apology, but her conversations so far are just circular. It's always how no matter what they did it was out of love, and that they don't deserve her pushing away when they were god parents. - One theory I can think of that the in laws are so negative to their daughter having a conservative bf is how they will look to other people. They probably do not want their (liberal) friends or relatives to ask questions about their daughter's relationship with you. I have personal experience with how people concerned about how they will look to other people, creates a lot of problems in ie a family. There are people (with children) who are VERY scared of how other people would think about them. I was thinking the same thing - vanity. However, when I ask my gf about her parents she said they don't really have any friends besides one other couple. While that couple is also liberal, my gf said that her parents friends try to stay away from politics since her parents get so annoying with it. Her parents spend a lot of time with her sister and her sister's boyfriend, but other than that I don't think that have a lot of close friendships. I'm not sure however, just what I've been told. The one thing I did noticed after listening to FDR was how her mother talks about her brother who (defoo'd) to a degree by moving far away from the family of origin. It's all about how he was tricked into moving away by his manipulative wife, (not that he had agency and didn't want to live around his family any more.) Personally, it's bothersome since my gf's sister is dating a guy who majored in "movies" and works as a bartender, but he is very liberal so naturally the parents like him a lot. I still kinda wish her parents liked me more, or that our views were similar in some way. -Unless you actually did something substantive to make the in laws not like you, that you could apologize for, it is hard for me to see a way to improve your relationship with them. Did you spend time with her in laws? What did you talk about? Well, I did spend the holidays with them last year as a gesture of my seriousness in dating their daughter. It went decently enough. While politics came up, and it got annoying, it wasn't anything that was unbearable. However, I naturally have an anxiety for large crowded spaces, so I was a little unsociable when they would want to go out to large malls and such. At the time I was going through my own issues with my family, so I was drained and not in my best presentation to "show off" to her parents. We visited a couple months after the Christmas season, and this time it didn't go so well since my girlfriend and I had a fight while out on her sister's birthday. It was hard, but I apologized to her sister and her parents and explained to them that I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and that I was having a bad day. I didn't try to play the victim card, even though there were things that were really annoying me the whole night with how people were acting. (Just pecking away bit by bit.) I just took all the blame and sincerely apologized. We also talked about politics during this time, but I didn't really like it that much. When we did talk, I tried to keep it about them a lot of the time. Asking them questions about themselves and the area they lived. Her mother and I both enjoy plants so I gifted a small plant and such. All in all it didn't seem bad, there's just the problem of how political they get, and there's no "logic" behind it so much that republicans are bad people. Here's a quick list of things I remember. (I didn't take the bate on most and just ignored them/changed the subject when they started talking about most of these topics.) - Voter ID laws are racist. - There is no evidence that illegals have ever voted. - Scalia was a horrible person. - All Syrian refugees should be let in. (Unethical not to) - Obama's (Women make 70 cents to the dollar) comment was accurate, women are primarily discriminated against in workplace. - The ACA (obamacare) is AMAZING. "Do not question anything about obama care" I was told by my gf.) - Diversity is amazing. (As they live in a very well off white/asian community) while I grew up in a lower middle class barrio-sh area. - They absolutely LOVE gay people. (Not even sure why they told me this other than maybe thinking I was homophobic after I told them I was raised baptist. lol) - Common core is fantastic. (Actually argued with them on this since my gf is really into education, that's when I realized how bad they are with ideological stances) - Cops are shooting innocent people in the streets. (Pro black lives matter) - All guns should be banned. Even from police. - Comedians shouldn't say mean things. - They feel uncomfortable seeing soldiers walk around in their PT's? (Odd one I heard from her mother while in SF.) - People who oppose mass immigration into america are heartless and lack empathy. - The bell cure is a lie, and there is no evidence to support a race and IQ correlation. Blank slate theory all the way. - Armenians are terrible to have around, but Muslims are amazing. (I'm thinking because Armenians are conservative, in group preference, by in large) - People who are conservative are like that because they are dumb/uneducated. Basically just throw up whatever Rachel Maddow talked about on her show that night, throw in a little Salon.com headlines and you have what I have to hear for the day while visiting her parents. Oh, also neither one of her parents have really worked in the Private sector. Both worked in a HEAVILY government subsidized industry.

Hello FDR members, Long time listener here. Figured I had a situation happening to me that you might all find amusing. I've recently moved into an apartment with my girlfriend of 3 years, (Both in our early-mid twenties, graduated from top 10 public university) but we are running into a problem with her parents "loving kindness." Her parents are extremely liberal, (watch Rachel Maddow religiously), get their news from salon and huffington post, and her father is a Berkeley graduate. Also they are (HUGELY) anti-gun. I don't care that they hold different views, many members of my family hold different views, the problem is they seem to be in a bubble of left wing thought and they view anyone with right wing leanings as lacking empathy and being bad people in general. It's starting to eat away at me since clearly they don't respect me. After graduation, my girlfriend and I had planned to move to Austin, Texas, in order to take advantage of the tech boom happening there. Her parents wanted none of it, and told her she would be "ruining her life" if she moved to Texas, but that left wing states would be fine to move to. (Washington, etc) They refused to listen to logic, and would get angry at her for suggesting that California would be a bad place for a young couple to live. They pushed for her to move to San Francisco or LA, but she ended up getting a great job elsewhere in the state. This made my girlfriend very upset, and she has been pushing for them to apologize since the event. However, they just double down and tell her that they dismiss her because they love her, and that her live would have been ruined had she moved to Texas. My girlfriend has visited them since, and she got in an argument with them over common core education and the recent migrant crisis. She told me her parents said her views "changed for the worst," and "Would a good person hold these kinds of views?" She got very upset by their manipulation of her views, and started limited her time around them. They got angrier, and would tell her things like how she didn't have any problems until she met me, and how they don't deserve her trying to have distance from them. (Again, I don't think I'm very liked by her family.) So recently they have been guilt tripping her, and telling her that they don't deserve her "need some space" treatment, and that my girlfriend is making them so worried that she needs to just hurry up and end this. She tried talking to her sister about it, but her sister just doubled down that my girlfriend is too smart to hold any conservative views, and that she doesn't understand how my girlfriend could go from having empathy to having none. I pushed for my girlfriend to work with a family therapist about all this, and so she is trying to work on setting boundaries. Personally, I'm lost for what to do. I'm stuck in a state I hate. (California) Hard to make friends since Commiefornia is extremely anti-conservative white male. I've been applying for jobs and get no calls back despite holding two A.S. degrees and a B.S. degree in economics. My girlfriend's parents pretty much hate me and think my views aren't just different but morally repugnant. I feel like I can't complain since my girlfriend is paying more of the bills while I search for work. (I've been taking minimum wage gigs just to get by but it's soul crushing after 6 years of education) I am just getting more and more unhappy hearing about how her family feels about my views. I've been dealing with rumination and Pure-OCD like thoughts lately also but I haven't seen any FDR podcast on rumination and OCD, and can't afford to see a CBT therapist right now. Any advice from members on how to deal with in-law type figures who dislike you?