MAttinoto

Thank you all so much for the support, I greatly appreciate it and I'm glad to see such welcoming empathy I have struggled with my confidence a lot and I find it difficult to crack a joke or make lighter humor because I fear that I may not make sense or may not find it funny. I think it's also difficult in the instance that if I do get a genuine response and see the other person taking interest in me that I tend to get nervous because I feel expected to be funny or intelligent in my next response to keep them interested. Eye contact is not my strongest skill, and I'm sure that is in most cases misleading when conversing with women. I talk a lot with my close family and I've gained a lot of self knowledge with our discussions and I've realized that I do worry a lot about coming off awkward or dumb. I've also realized that this comes from the models I was given growing up with my parents, as I was alone most of time and had to find something to preoccupy myself, which was usually video games. When I realized how much time I spent on them and not socializing with others as much throughout many days, I knew it was a problem and I identified it and started making some progress with being more open with other people. Still a big work in progress, but I can see a lot of the progress I have made and I don't want to stop pushing forth. I haven't written much and have only journaled a few times, but I do see that I can get my thoughts out a lot easier than trying to say them and I think that'll be a good start to getting my thoughts gathered and put in to perspective. I am trying an online dating site currently and I feel that it is easier to write and share my thoughts through messaging on there. I'm going to set some goals and start journaling and see where it leads me. I'll keep working on my discovery in self knowledge and confidence, and also my self worthiness. Thank you all again for sharing your feedback and giving me positive reinforcement, I hope you all are doing well in your journeys as well!

Hello, my name is Michael. This is my very first forum post, so I hope I'm at least somewhat clear with what I say and don't get too caught up with my rambling. I'm pretty open-minded with discussions and I don't want to come off too vague if I fail to elaborate on anything. I come from a history of no relationships, and no intimacy with women. I just want to be honest and show how this is a problem and how it has affected me. I'm trying to understand what I should be saying or questioning when I first talk/meet with a woman. I get thought trapped in thinking that I ask too many questions, or I'm being too personal, which I feel may lead to the other thinking I'm too emotional or obsessive. I feel that maybe I am obsessing or over-thinking things and that tends to make me blank out and not know what to say next. I get frustrated at times because I notice myself falling in the same pattern and wanting to care with what I say, and I feel I may come off too kind or too willing to help out. I'll usually say things like "have a nice day", or "how are you today", and I usually ask about any interests or goals they have. I try to be open and give my opinions or thoughts about things and try not to talk too much while doing so, but I feel like I'm letting on too much.I am not so talkative and usually a little nervous when meeting new people, especially women, but I feel that I can keep good conversation going when given the right circumstances. I feel that my personality may be non-alluring or somewhat dull, but I can say that I do have a big sense of humor and usually laugh a decent amount. I appreciate anyone's ideas and comments on this and I hope you've found this somewhat understandable, and maybe even relatable.