Hi, all - I could use some advice. I am a divorced mother, I know this is not ideal by any means but trying to do my best. I have been on my journey of self improvement and growth for about a year; yet, I know I still have a long way to go. I am dating a really wonderful man and we are working hard to build an honest and virtuous relationship.
Recently, a difficult scenario has arisen. My twins are turning 5 this week, their father and I agreed to take them out for a fun dinner on their birthday night. We have come a long way, treating each other with respect now - although, I think he can still be a very lazy, uninvolved father. I know my children prefer to spend the evening with both of us.
My boyfriend asserts that we are a broken family and should handle everything separately. That when we divorced, doing things together for any reason is now inappropriate. I should do dinner with them one night, their father another. We are not at a point where he is actively doing things with my children, we want to wait until our relationship us 100% steady and ready. He also believes that by doing things with my ex-husband it creates little room for future partners to imagine their role and displays that I am not willing to stick by my values. "If he wasn't good enough to be married to, why would he be good enough to share special days with?"
I am torn - I know what my children would prefer, but I understand the message I am sending and any resulting confusion.
Thoughts? (Please be gentle, this is my first post and I know that single moms aren't the site's favorite! Rest assured I am a 100% self sufficient mother ☺️)
