mmillerj

Hey folks I'll have an update for yall later today and a couple extra questions. Big thank you to everyone here for taking the time to respond to my posts.

you're welcome:)

I think it was IFS or Internal Family Systems therapy, there is also CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Well I think that helped a bit. thanks to all of those that read my posts.

gotta think for a bit, I'll post it later.

I apologize for not getting back to the posts when I said I would. I've got a lot going on in my mind lately. So, I've found that when I go down a certain line of questions, its really painful, to point where I'm trying not to cry at work. I get to this one phrase and I can't go any further. I can't find anything else that's this painful. And all the issues I'm having all lead to this one thought. And whenever I try to dig deeper or try to find something else I lock up and feel numb. How do you know when you've found the root of your problem?

I have thought about redefining it. I can see how that definition of success could imply that I wanted a hot wife, lots of money , and perfect children. But it's not about the material or the looks, or the perfect children. And I like that everyone here is challenging me, please do. It's helping a lot. I've thought about that, its like "Am I good enough to be a father." If I'm not capable of providing for a family, how is me having children or wife, a good thing? If by me doing so, those children would suffer due to the lack of my ability? Does that help the community? Would that propigate the expansion of the state? If those children end up being like me or worse, or if the woman I mary leaves and takes everything I have, how is that good for anyone? That's where I'm stuck. I've got to clock back in to work but I'll be back later.

I have 10 minutes before I have to clock in for work. How is having tons of sex and children with lower iq people a good thing? If the result is more people like me, low iq with nothing to offer? I'm not saying you should force people to not have babies based on their iq, its their choice. I'm saying, if I have the choice to have children, and those children would probably end up o welfare or vote for it, how is that good?

Not sure if that's a troll post. You made a good point someone else made though, that I had not thought of before. Move to a place where I could have the competitive edge.

That has given me a lot to think about as well, I'll have to look over the study you linked. What I do currently think is correct, is, that discipline can only give you the best of what your ability can give. So, I can be the best production line assembler, i can be the best janitor. That sort of thing. There are limits on my ability to perform any job, but discipline can only give me the best of what I could potentially do. I want to thank everyone that's responded to my post, its a touchy subject not a lot of people want to talk about it, or give me their input. So if anyone has input any at all please post, the more ideas I'm exposed to the better the result will be, it helps me think.

That's why I'm here, after digging as deep as I can go that's what I found. What part of the picture am I missing?

I thought I had submitted a reply to this one I don't know where it went. I like the 3rd point. I have not thought of that before. I've tried to do the 2nd point, and i usually get stuck, I had more in the older post but don't know where it went. I wanted to know if you could give me examples. and on the 1st point, I don't drink/drugs, don't have any friends, don't gamble. I do have bad eating habits, same with video games, and that's something that I can improve. I have an average Verbal IQ of 103 , so yes I can use words, but the rest is low and I'm borderline retarded in others. I'll have to find the copy I was given. There's a lot to tackle in that post and I'm not sure where to start. so I might ramble a bit. I took the Wechsler Adult IQ test, said it in my first post. It's not so much that the career would give me happiness, the fact that I am paid to do something i think would imply that it's not something that I would do on my own accord without payment. So, its not like I wouldn't be happy while I was not working. it is the sense that I want to give my time to something worthwhile, which would you rather do? Sit on a line all day picking plastic from the trash at a dump, or making something of value that people want? (I don't know what would for me). It is the satisfaction you get when you leave work to go home to a family, knowing that what you sacrificed was well worth it, for you, your family, the community, so on and so forth. And it is not so much that when children leave the home I won't be happy, I'll be happy knowing that I and my theoretical wife gave them everything that they needed to be good and decent people, and so they can go and hopefully make more good and decent people. And If I were to outlive my partner I would not be miserable, sure I would grieve, but a lifetime spent with that person while it would probably be challenging would be well worth the effort. When I ask myself, when would I be okay death. The only manner in which I'd be okay with my own death is If I could do all the above. And that's where I'm stuck. I can't change my IQ, I can't change the state, and I will not have children if I'm employed by the government. "hey honey, you know what I said about the government, it's immoral, its wrong, but daddy gets paid by them." Not the sort of thing I want to tell my children. And why should I sacrifice my principles just to get by? Why should you be forced to pay me to provide a service that's 3 to 5 times more expensive than it would otherwise be? and that's why I'm frustrated anyone that I try to talk to just says "welp lol, you can't be that stupid, you can use words, oh ya that test wasn't valid" When they've been proven to be pretty accurate. see where I'm coming from. here is what I've found to be objectively true. People with an IQ of 87 to 93 occupy jobs that involve simple and repetitive tasks, work that will most likely be replaced by machines by the time i'm 40. women don't date down, only up. either by looks, or resources. I have neither. How can I still get to where I want to go, despite all the above. I can't think of anything. Its either the objective facts are wrong, or your telling me to ignore reality and be irrational.

I realize that there are plenty of smart people who don't do anything. Absolutely correct, but the difference between myself and those who can but don't do. Is the fact that they can. I don't know how someone with the potential to do better than I can, with less effort would disprove the fact that I can't do what they could do. I've thought about what a successful life would be like, its not so much that I would have lots of money, but enough money where I could save and support a family without having my wife work. It's not about having a respectable job, I don't know how to put it because I have a hard time articulating what it is that I would think of as a successful job or career. The best way I've managed to explain it would be, something that I can do competently and forget the passing of time. Its kind of like, listing to a book or reading, you're so involved with what your doing the 8 or 12 hours your working you don't notice every second that's gone by. The problem I'm having is that, there is nothing that I've found that I can do competently that would yield any value or meaning, the only job's I could do would require me to work for the government, getting paid at the expense of everyone else is not something I'm willing to do. and I know I didn't ask to be born, its not like I got to sit in a mall and browse the "where ya wanna be born" catalog, If I did I certainly wouldn't of picked this. But I don't see how my perspective is wrong, if what I'm saying is objectively true, and its not like its completely deterministic, its more or less I've been given a hand of cards that I can only play 3 different ways, its my choice on how I want to play them, but all 3 ways that I could play my hand would involve Welfare state and/or being alone till I die. There are exceptions to every rule, your implying that I am one, and I'm not. I don't have any talent that I could work on to do what Ali did, I've been wrestling with this for the past 8 months. If I'm not seeing any reason to live as it is, then what I'll think on my deathbed would technically be irrelevant. I've looked into that to, the Psychologist that is referring to "grit" would be just another word for the personality trait of conscientiousness, I've only taken the Myres-briggs personality test which really isn't science from what I read, I took it at the request of my school counselor when I was 20. and there is nothing that I know of that can prevent me from becoming stupider, or smarter for that matter, like you can prevent heart disease. you can even do jogging to improve heart health. And from what I've read, it looks like IQ stays about the same no matter what you do. can you list those countries? the only ones I can think of that have a majority of low IQ folks are not doing to well.

A part of me has always known that I am not that smart, I obviously have issues comprehending complex and abstract ideas, I've failed most of my college classes. And despite the garbage they teach I should have the capacity to at least pass in an environment designed to pump out useless people. With that in mind I decided to take an IQ test, about 7 or 8 months ago I took the Wechsler Adult IQ test with a Psychologist, and as I suspected its not that great. I was given a IQ range of 87 to 93 and it has not been easy to admit or accept the fact that I'm not good enough to participate as a successful member of society. There are things in life that I really want, and I don't think that I'm being selfish or unreasonable to want these things. I want a family, children, a good wife, my own land, my own house. The problem that I'm running into is that, knowing that my IQ is low and that I'm not smart, how can I reasonably expect to achieve anything that I listed when I lack the capability to comprehend and compete in complex jobs. I've looked at the type of jobs that other people with my IQ occupy. It's not a life I'm willing to live, its either; Live alone till I'm dead doing menial, repetitive, meaningless work for next to nothing. Or, Join the welfare bandwagon and live at the expense of everyone else. Another problem is that, I'm not attractive. So, If I don't have or can't acquire the resources necessary to support a family, then what chance do I have of finding a decent woman? And its really frustrating to know that, I have an IQ that would indicate that I won't be successful and that the only way I can live is at the expense of everyone else, its not right for me to take from someone else so I can justify my own existence, and whenever I bring this up to anyone they just say "IQ does not matter"; and Its immeasurably frustrating to hear that. It makes me angry. You can't say that we have an accurate way to measure intelligence then say that its not valid just to make me feel better. I don't know what to do, or what I can do, or If its right for me to find a wife that'll have children with me, if those children will end up like me or worse. I'm trying really hard to find some reason or meaning to live and I can't find anything.

Yeah it was my dick doing the thinking for me, if the father was not around/alive/she's a widow then maybe... because I do want a family I'd love to be a father and have a caring wife. But I don't think this will work, because if i did take her I fully intend to be the father, but what if her daughter won't see me as a father? I don't think that would be a good environment for the kid. And for me as a man I'd like to instil my values and raise her to be a good person. And I just don't think I can raise a child that isn't mine/already has a father present. So I'd like to thank you all very much;) I'll watch that video on my way home from work today.