As the growing emotional pain of fighting a viscous EX gets too much and the trauma is turning me crazy, I find myself becoming someone/thing that there is no returning from.
At what point does one maintaing benevolent participation in the social contract become pointless, and or a further producer of the pain pushing you toward a self fulfilling prophecy of false claims purported an ex in search of solo parenthood?
I believe the society constructed to protect individuals from threats greater than themselves, also harbores a pattern of ignorant injustice, letting the law be manipulated to further the agenda of narcissist new age mothers, promoting what looks like a destructive trend of "empowered" woman seeking to be "strong" solo parents.
Eight years and a collective $350,000+ into a litigious nightmare I can feel the tipping point tilting beneath my figurative feet, both my anger and sadness have reached their justified critical peaks priming what feels like a bomb of calm relief waiting to go off. I fear and find comfort in the thought of finally letting go, embracing abhorrence toward the society and culture that has failed my son and myself in favor of gendered cliché stigmas and pandering to females crying wolf.
Trapped in a conscious and brutal dissonance, I need to see the mirage of truth and reason again to keep the journey from derailing, holting to release a monster created by the circumstances consuming countless men in western culture.