Dr. Dealgood

Emily, I'd suggest that you listen to a website called "An Ear for Men". There is a lot of practical male self-help information there that is good for any male friend, sibling, husband or child. Paul Elam can be a bit crude at times but his heart is in the right place and note his target audience is male. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXNNG0ej_6rU9SxCZ4dyq6w/featured A couple of videos he's made really stand out. On female shit testing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs6tb0D9qfg Understanding gynocentrism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iagiaimds4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNGSg1lWjlg An ear for men is by no means the only content on the web. There is a ton of it and the most intellectual comes out from the MGTOW side of the manosphere. (IMO). One of my favorites but by no means the only one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFgBt7Of-r4 Watch the movie 'The Red Pill' by Cassie Jaye to get a flavor of the Men's Rights movement. Then go to Cassie Jaye's website on youtube and see what she has to say. You may also want to listen to Warren Farrell, Karen Straughan and Jordan Peterson. There are books too that are worth reading all available on Amazon. Google these two authors to get you started. Warren Farrell, Esther Vilar. I don't envy the task you have given yourself although I do admire your honesty. While I don't suggest a MGTOW lifestyle I understand why men are driven to it. I guess the best personal advice I can give you and the most important lesson any man can teach his son is that the best self-defense mechanism any young boy can have to navigate the world of boys is to understand male dominance hierarchies. (Jordan Peterson talks about hierarchies a great deal). The best lesson a women can impart on a young boy about girls is that they should be afraid of them. Another boy may hurt him with his fist, but a young girl can destroy him with a word. To borrow a quote from Warren Farrrell: "Men’s greatest weakness is their facade of strength, and women’s greatest strength is their facade of weakness.”. Oh and finally... when your son is ready to date... one question he should always ask.... "Tell me about your parents'" or words to that effect. If a women doesn't know or respect her father she is damaged. Empathy is passed mostly from fathers to their children. A women without empathy for males is a borderline and very dangerous. Best of luck! Hope this helps. Note my list above is not comprehensive but the information I have suggested will open you to a ton of other information. Oh and welcome to the rabbit hole!

MGTOW? AWM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84ya7v5bPLk

@smarterthanone "Well they seem to want it. This is why older women are often desperate to have children." They seem to want "it"? What is "it"? Take risks or have children? IMO they want neither. Generally speaking women are not risk takers and by way of proof I offer the evidence that women overwhelmingly don't take risky jobs. I'd suggest that this is because they are wired to avoid risks. As for wanting children what's your proof? The declining population rate suggests otherwise. The majority of women don't want children. "They don't understand you cant really get them later though even though it seems pretty obvious. " You seem to be displaying some prescient knowledge about an awful lot of people. Did it occur to you that they don't have children because they want something else instead? Ticketyboo made the same argument and I agree with him. I'll grant that there definitely are some people who want children for their own intrinsic worth but for most women they have children to serve a purpose that advances HER purposes. China has a population imbalance in their genders as parents favor sons over daughters. The reason is straightforward as there is no equivalent to social security or CPP in China. By law, sons have to support their parents in their old age. The children there are an old age pension. As China has become more wealthy, the Chinese growth rate of the population is decreasing. You are now seeing the same trends there that you are in the West... women don't want kids. As more state and private resources are thrown at women the less need they have to take the risks of child birth. In third world countries population rates are still increasing. Why? Because larger families bring more resources into the family unit... working on farms, factories, weaving carpets, etc. The children exist to advance an objective purpose. Her purpose. "But the main point is, without at minimum averaging 3 children, your culture is dying. So get practical. Do you want your culture to die out? " Lower birth rate won't eliminate culture or society. It will however ultimately create economic problems and this will create social problems. Particularly as governments are driven by debt spending with fewer and fewer tax drones their wealth redistribution policies and the power they have been given to do it will end. Once the social services on which women depend evaporate and more tax drones are required, I predict that children will show up. My last point is that it is not "my culture" any more than it is your culture. It's her culture. Women are the gatekeepers to reproduction and if they don't want them then they will suffer the consequences. The male fate, for most of us is genetic oblivion and I'm OK with that. (Only 40% of males get to reproduce). I'll add too that "our culture" has no compassion for males, is utterly gynocentric and openly hostile to males. You don't get to ask me to care for something that doesn't give a shit about me.

@smarterthanone Higher education leads women to choose to not want children I think is the argument you are making. I suggest to you that correlation doesn't necessarily mean causation. There is also a correlation between education, higher IQ and higher income. Higher income means more resources for the self. Provision for one's own needs means that children/husband/family are not necessary. They are optional. Let me throw the question back at you... for an individual women who has her career why should she want to take the risks of childbirth? And it is risky, even today, particularly as women have children at an older and older age. (Speaking anecdotally, a friend of mine's wife died giving birth to their first child. She was 40).

This was a great vid on the same topic:

Badly written. It rambles in an agonizing way. I had to read it twice to make sense of it. After reading it, you realize that she is feminist enough to only care about her grand-daughter but not feminist enough to care about the central core beliefs of feminist ideology. Those being: - Anti-marriage - Anti-family - Patriarchy theory - Man hatred. Her traditionalist views run counter to modern feminist dogma. She is confused actually... she thinks she is a feminist but she is actually a tradcon. So our confused wanna-be feminist who is a tradcon can't understand the modern mores she helped usher in. (Well golly gee, that's typical...) She clearly didn't realize that the feminist movement was never about 'equality'. She also never accounted for the selfishness of female nature and the selflessness of male nature. Having worked hard to dispense with males, ie: husbands, teachers, etc., you tossed out male morality as well. The feminist world she created makes women unaccountable to man and somewhat unaccountable to mother nature. (Her biology). Mind you women complain endlessly about and spend vast fortunes to postpone the effects of aging... but I digress. She is confused because no one explained to her that the 'yeah you go girl!' and 'free the nipple' culture means encouraging female hypergamy. The sexual references she makes is a symptom of unrestrained female hypergamy. Sex is reduced to a transaction. The tradcon feminist author didn't realize until the end of her life that she destroyed her own value system. She destroyed the future of the little bundle of joy she was holding in her arms. To answer the question she poses herself in the essay... Has feminism made life worse, not better for today's generation of girls? My answer. Yes and No. Yes in that there is now a large body of law that privileges women over men. The welfare state guarantees a huge welfare transfer from men to women. The whole justice system grotesquely discriminates against men. Technology and society has liberated women from childbirth and no one shames them for their choices. Society picks up the tab for all their bad decisions. No in that the backlash has started. The feminists have ushered in unrestrained female hypergamy. The 80/20 pareto has kicked in. The folks left out of this system are starting to get pissed off. The slave class of males may one day decide that they don't want to pay for services they can never use. This 'outgroup' has started to organize in what has become known as 'white nationalist' circles. Politics is polarizing and lines are hardening. Feminists depend on men to support a justice system that does not deliver justice to them. At some point the tipping point will come and there won't be enough men to support the status quo. The rebellion will begin. Hope this helps.

@smarterthanone Young women, like young men, generally don't know what they want. I would venture to say that we all deal with the mixed social, cultural, economic and family pressures to figure out what is important to ourselves. That maturing process generally takes place in our early twenties. Starting a family is a very long term commitment and should be taken very seriously. That level of engagement should, (granted in many cases it doesn't), involve people of sufficient maturity to decide that they want to make the necessary sacrifices. Once you get children, you can't give them back. (Unless you live in a state with a 'baby Jesus' law, but I digress...) "If you are looking for a stable relationship and to have kids and such a younger women is FAR better." I disagree. All women are hypergamous at every age. The question is will they act on it. Younger women are still in the 'pump and dump', 'party on' and 'monkey branch' stage of their lives. As a demographic they are in the highest probability group for having the least stable relationships while paradoxically, their bodies are at the best age for having children. IMO, an older more mature women who knows she wants a family and is of an age to bear the children should be what you are looking for. I would never want the mother of a child of mine to be little more than a child herself. Anecdotally, I had a brother who was 21 when he married an 18 year old. The marriage lasted two years and was a horror show. Later on, he was almost incarcerated over child support but his ex shook down my parents for thousands of dollars to keep him free. Society throws men under the bus and marrying that young has about a 100% failure rate. The point I was trying to make about unprotected sex is that it is dangerous and reckless and shouldn't be done at any age. I'm not referring to just the risks of pregnancy. As a man, it is and must be a responsibility you have to take seriously. Getting a women pregnant is the fastest way to get the State involved in your life. Destroying men who do that is precisely what the family court system is set up to do. The end result for the man is poverty, incarceration, suicide or exile by either homelessness or being forced to go abroad. I think you and I will need to agree to disagree.

@omarcrysis We all did stuff that was risky early in life. I just didn't realize at the time what was at stake or how social structures and laws are set up to annihilate men while giving women a free pass. Hindsight is always 20/20. Foresight is much harder... hence why I felt it was worth stating as you apparently overlooked what was an obvious minefield (to me) you were walking through. You got lucky but so many men get their legs blown off early. A women's responsibility to not get pregnant is to herself. Your responsibility is to not get a women pregnant and YOU must take precautions for your own reasons. Never pretend that responsibility soley belongs to a women. The courts certainly won't. The Red Pill answer to your question "how to meet girls" is straightforward. (Stephan Molyneux may disagree). All corners of the manosphere would require you to understand female hypergamy. This is truly key and you may already know it on the subconscious level. Male attraction to women across socio/economic strata is flexible. A women's attraction to a man is not. A women will generally want to marry someone of equal value or higher to her own perceived self-worth. https://www.avoiceformen.com/relationships/a-primer-on-hypergamy/ To be more attractive to women get a job/career/business going and they will come after you. The higher profile/more income then the higher status women. Do you think Melania married Donald Trump for his good looks, faithfulness, moral virtues and wonderful personality? So to answer your question, get your business going, your life in order and they will come to you. And don't put down the local girls. The ones you have met thus far are not the higher quality ones. Your success will bring out the more desirable ones who also have their lives together. If you are in business join the local Chamber of Commerce, (it's Mexican equivalent), look, dress and act the part of someone who is up and coming in the community. Be visible. Note that it is a double edged sword. You may well attract and marry the girl you want. Just realize that if you fail to maintain the promise of status and economic success then your odds of her seeking a divorce will go up dramatically. Worse than that you may find out that your kids are not actually your biological offspring. An 'Ear for Men' is a great website with practical everyday advice for guys like you. These vids are definitely worth listening to to help you choose/find a partner worthy of you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YtvxTI6j8g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H316eYM7l_c https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBu6yHcqz-Y This final vid is one I strongly reccomend. It doesn't answer your question but I suggest all males of the human species listen to it. Paul Elam is his usual eloquent self. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs6tb0D9qfg One final note. There is a segment of the manosphere known as MGTOW. The men who choose that path would not reccomend dating any women. They would ask you why you crave female validation? I don't think you are in this space at your stage of life but the question isn't unimportant. Particularly if you can't find someone... or you suffer abuse at the hands of someone you thought would make a good partner. There is some thoughtful content out there from some of their creators.

I don't normally offer an opinion on personal issue threads as my interest is philosophy, politics and current events. I thought I would throw in my Red Pill perspective. In my opinion, the short answer to your question is "yes". Your subconscious (and your conscious) is telling you that you should break up with your GF. Your subconscious is telling you to 'search' and your conscious is resisting. You are 25, have your life put together, a future planned and working. You have a long vision and are thinking about a partner who will help you on that path and raise a family with you. A partner and a friend. Your 19 GF is still a teenager, you met at a hostel while travelling. Likes to party and do ecstasy. She's also attractive and fun to be around. Great! The disconnect is your short term infatutation colliding with your long term vision. She doesn't fit in the picture and you know it. Perhaps you were hoping her being with you would change things and it may have but not at the pace you want. People do a lot of growing between 19 and 25 and she just isn't there yet and you don't want to wait. Now the advice you have undoubtedly heard before... Young attractive girls are like a carousel. First couple of spins around are fun but after that they are boring, one dimensional and repetitive. Oh and she is from another country... been there done that. You feel guilt because she travelled to see you. If that is the case then pay for her plane ticket back home. It's not working out and you know it... I think she knows it too. That's the problem with long distance relationships. It forces people together faster than normal before a lot of stuff has been worked out. You don't get the chance to know each other better before you move in with each other. It didn't work for me and I don't reccomend it. Last thing I thought I'd say that really stood out with what you said in your post. You had unprotected sex with a teenager! Are you out of your mind?? Cmon dude your smarter than that. Seriously fast way to ruining your life.

Is Jordan Peterson the hero we want? Is he saying things we want to hear or need to hear? Are his rugs really worth... First off who is "we"? I think you mean 'you and I'... and your telling me that you have doubts about him. You make it sound like he was personally responsible for the immigration crisis into Europe and North America. That's pretty impressive for a U of T psych professor... Is he saying things YOU want to hear? Apparently not. I'm going to go out on a limb and will suggest that he neither seeks nor cares for your approval. This being a free society he will talk about whatever he wants to talk about. The only choice you have is to be his audience or not. I judge people by their actions and the content of their speech. He so exquisitely handed Cathy Newman her ass during his interview with her that I have listened to it several times to learn how. It's possible, that just maybe Jordan Peterson has something to teach the rest of us... how to deal with feminist sophistries in public discourse. Your comment about his rugs has shades of the Nellie Bowles' NYT hit piece on JP, 'Custodian of the Patriarchy'. Wherein she criticizes him for his choice in artwork and his bedspread. Are you trying to 'women-splain' him to us? I don't care what his freaking rugs, car or kitchen dishware cost him! Bringing that up has nothing to do with content of his message and is childish.

I have to wonder if JP is 'that' good of a debater. So good in fact that he can artfully sidestep his oponents traps, ignore their barbs but let them feel comfortable throwing them. So comfortable that he allows them to descend into their racist, sexist pits. Then he strikes! Well played Mr. Peterson! Well played!

Like most feminists, your "friends" will only be happy when they have destroyed your world and turned it into a mirror of their own dystopian one. Are you happy in your relationship? Do you feel abused? It's funny but being male I have a hard time understanding women and your conversations. The scenario you describe would never happen among men I know. I am trying to imagine a scenario where any close friend of mine would have the effrontery to say to me that my partner was "oppressing" me and was a sexist. That level of brazen audacity and vileness would immediately end the friendship. It would be a GTFO of my house and never come back scenario. Now don't get me wrong. There is a place where friends should intervene but you don't sound like you are walking around with bruises and broken bones. At a minimum level, any friend worthy of that label should respect the choices of people you choose to partner with. If they don't like it then they should at least be polite and respectfully keep their distance. You definitely have a problem but it is not your husband. I'm curious to know why you have tolerated being interrogated about your choices by your "friends". Just who do they think they are? It's none of their business and you are foolish to enter into a discussion about it.

Michael Dyson came across as a raving bigot and racist. Stephen Fry pointed out correctly that his opponents didn't spend much time talking about the resolution and dwelt in their comfort zone of US politics. Peterson did his best to engage intellectually but the other side was more interested in throwing ad-homs at him.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/04/13/world/middleeast/trump-strikes-syria-attack.html?action=click&module=Spotlight&pgtype=Homepage Yet another war in the middle East. Now we hold our breath and see what the other side will do.

I haven't read his book yet but I just ordered it to find out what he really did say about lobsters....