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In Jordan B. Peterson's 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, he expresses support for the use of corporal punishment and argues that it can be an effective form of discipline. What does the research say? Introduction: 0:00 Quotations: 0:18 Research: 3:45 Contradiction: 5:59 Ending Corporal Punishment: 6:59 Conclusion: 7:56 References: 8:52 References Durrant, J. E., Ensom, R., & Coalition on Physical Punishment of Children and Youth. (2004). Joint statement on physical punishment of children and youth. Ottawa: Coalition on Physical Punishment of Children and Youth. Durrant, J., & Ensom, R. (2012). Physical punishment of children: lessons from 20 years of research. CMAJ, 184(12), 1373-1377. doi:10.1503/cmaj.101314 Gershoff, E. T. (2013). Spanking and child development: We know enough now to stop hitting our children. Child Development Perspectives, 7(3), 133-137. Gershoff, E. T., & Grogan-Kaylor, A. (2016). Spanking and child outcomes: old controversies and new meta-analyses. Journal of Family Psychology, 1-17. doi:10.1037/fam0000191 Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children. (2017). Ending legalised violence against children: global progress to December 2017. Author. Retrieved from www.endcorporalpunishment.org/resources/global-reports/global-report-2017.html Mulvaney, M. K., & Mebert, C. J. (2007). Parental corporal punishment predicts behavior problems in early childhood. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(3), 389-397. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.21.3.389 Peterson, J. B. (2018). 12 rules for life: an antidote to chaos. Toronto: Random House Canada. Straus, A, M., Sugarman, D. B., & Giles-Sims, J. (1997). Spanking by parents and subsequent antisocial behavior of children. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med, 151, 761-767. Vittrup, B., & Holden, G. W. (2010). Children's assessments of corporal punishment and other disciplin ary practices: the role of age, race, SES, and exposure to spanking. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 31, 211-220. doi:10.1016/j.appdev.2009.11.003 Further Reading Afifi, T. O., Ford, D., Gershoff, E. T., Merrick, M., Grogan-Kaylor, A., Ports, K. A., . . . Bennett, R. P. (2017). Spanking and adult mental health impairment: The case for the designation of spanking as an adverse childhood experience. Child Abuse & Neglect, 71, 24-31. Gershoff, E. T., & Bitensky, S. H. (2007). The case against corporal punishment of children. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 13(4), 231-272. doi:10.1037/1076-8971.13.4.231
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Father brutalized his son and complied with his wife's lethal abuse- GETS RELEASED. "A man who beat his four-year-old son and turned a blind eye to the abuse his partner was inflicting on the boy as well, until she killed the child, has been granted a statutory release on his 46-month sentence. Francis Bastien, 35, was granted the release because he will soon reach the two-thirds mark of the sentence he received in February 2015, after he pleaded guilty to criminal negligence, assault causing bodily harm and assault with a weapon. A charge of manslaughter through criminal negligence was withdrawn on the same day he pleaded guilty." Guys, Gals, ... these people brutalized their child to death. This is a greater crime against humanity than abortion or negligence. I personally feel that it's not fair to spare the lives of the murderers because they couldn't be bothered to spare the child's. Though, I get the whole murder is wrong thing so I'm not sure if this is a case for a few eyes to be taken for the eyes of the child. Regardless, this level of brutality should have greater consequences. This man is going to be free to 'move on' from taking that chance from an innocent child. The monster had the audacity to make his physical appearance presentable. How could a person lift themselves from gripping onto their own death to groom after committing a crime like this?
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- the isolation of an abusive childhood
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I learned a lesson regarding how one should not confront child abusers when in a public space. My experience is to not engage with the abuser but to simply ask the abuser politely (of course) to not abuse the child, and end it there! The response to this confrontation is the focus of this single post. Here is a copy of an email I sent to Michaels (the art and craft store) regarding a confrontation I had with another customer which resulted in being bullied by an employee of Michaels. On a positive note, this experience has given me a deeper understanding of my anger and how it is the root cause of most of my problems. I'm not implying that the abusers get off "scott-free" but that I'm taking actions to correct problems and therefore the ripple effects. I recently purchased Anger and Forgiveness by Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D., a sample of the contents can be viewed @ http://www.guidetopsychology.com/af3.htm which also appears to explain how my nail biting, hair playing, pacing, and other habits formed may be connected to anger through OCD. Of course, Stef made me aware of this idea regarding anger in pod-cast http://www.fdrpodcasts.com/#/2444/freedomain-radio-call-in-show-august-4th-2013 @ ~2:19:23 in which he says, "The anger against your abusers is perfectly healthy. The danger of the anger is that it can draw you back into wanting to fix, rage against, act against your abusers." Mapping my history with anger is my self-appointed homework for the next 2 weeks before going over this with my therapist. This is my key and I'm excited to have it and cleanup what is behind the door(s).
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Full House was a huge part of my childhood and it took 20 years to realize why: it offered a peephole into an alternate reality were children were treated with dignity and respect. Here's my review of a very unfunny show that beneath the hit or miss humour had a lot of heart.
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A new article, where I comment on a response I got that argues yelling at your child is okay, even useful. In it, I explain why this is not the case, and analyze the response itself and how it reflects on the psyche of somebody who thinks this way. Response I received: "Not that I do not agree with any of this, but as a parent (and someone abused badly as a child--in most all ways), I can say some of it is ridiculous. I am sorry. Parents sometimes yell at their children. They get punished and disciplined as the situation dictates, and ALWAYS mine know why. The world is not going to be always empathetic to ones problems. There is not going to be people around to SOOTH them all their lives...sorry, but that is true. No, if my kid has a slight scrape I won't over indulge them (they are 10, 12, and 15) as they must learn to do it for themselves too. I am not abusive, but, as most parents will admit, I am not perfect. But, the world is not an empathetic place...by and large...they should not have to learn that the hard way. I do not beat, neglect, nor have scared my kids the way I have been. Seeing as I was abused, I do make en effort to do the best I can to not repeat. I agree everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, but, people piss people off...and one should be able to correct a wrong and be heard...if yelling is needed to be heard...so be it! " Read my analysis here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/04/q-i-yell-at-my-children-and-they-will.html
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Hey guys. Im feeling a bit uncertain after confronting my best friends fiancee about tagging her in a Peaceful Parenting video. Specifically Stefans last video in the Peace Parenting playlist on his youtube account. Im feeling bitter sweet because after listening to a podcast where a caller wanted to confront his family abuse it was determined it ultimately was up to him to say something because it would result in him finding a different kind of woman. It was very touching and I could hear the tone change from hopeless to hopeful when the caller realized he probably couldnt save those kids from further damage and yet telling his family spanking and yelling is not ok would probably create a big difference in his future partner. Arguably, it was this heartfelt podcast that gave me the courage to confront another friend on his roommate spanking kids in the background while we are trying to play video games together. I ran a little practice test of challenging and how to approach the abusers when my best friends fiancee relayed she was not so happy about the Temper Tantrum video I tagged her and 10 of my other friends in who have kids and would be interested in seeing. It came down to her saying "I am not going to debate you on this, when you come into our home this summer I will not have any undermining of our parenting methods while you are in town visiting." I was not completely shocked but I had already confronted them and linked the damage abuse causes children and yet they still hold true to rarely spanking and using a stern voice when necessary to discipline their child. I guess I came on here to drag this stuff into the light because after completing therapy over the past 9 months. Im happy to say this tool of dragging some of the darkest worries into the light keeps me sane and you all have been very supportive of my other posts in here. I get a great supportive and feel for the community unlike any other and I want to expose myself and my fiancee to that as much as possible before we plan on having children following our wedding in July! We live in Sweden thank God where the abuse is outlawed, even spanking, and Im set on raising my kids peacefully and learning so much more from Stefan and the support of this community. I will follow your advice and keep talking about the issues and continue spreading this information to those I care about in hopes that they will change their views and their children will thank them or wonder quite concernedly why they didnt listen to their good friends advice.. I had huge levels of adrenaline running through my system during this entire debate conversation with the abusers and Im happy to say my fiancee supports me 100% and I support her 100% too. We are committed all the way and wonder what lies in store for our future relationships if our current ones are so set on remaining war-like parents.. Are there any tips or advice for handling this? Thank you and if this is in the wrong section of the forum I will move it or it can be moved with my permission. Lots of love, Justin
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Wow, we just got back from The Witch, and it was really, really well done. There are some very strong performances in this film, including by some very young actors -- I'm not usually a fan of films with children in leading roles...a lot of cringing...by me... Some of the themes and tropes I noticed, which I've listed in the topic tags, were very compelling and explored to varying degrees over about 90 minutes. I'll just touch on a few of these themes, and they may contain spoilers. Superstition and Theocracy and Child Abuse -- This film is set in one of the early Puritan "plantations" -- probably Massachusetts Bay colony sometime in the 1630s or 1640s if I had to guess. The opening scene is the convening of a religious court where a man stands trial for blasphemy, which leads he and his family's excommunication (a la Thomas Hooker). The farmer and his family establish a farm in a remote area, praying all the while for providence from sky daddy. Every plan, every action, every is considered in relation to God. An entire family -- a pregnant wife, a set of twins, and another brother and sister -- is cut off from the protection and the resources of the community for a mere disagreement on some mundane theological point. One of the sons of the farmer is tortured with thoughts of his dead younger brother roasting away in hell because he wasn't baptized before he was (spoiler alert) ...kidnapped by a witch, ritually murdered, and pounded into jelly, and then rubbed all over the witch's naked body, allowing her to fly. Destruction of the family -- The exile of the family embeds them more fully into the stress and hardships of living in nature, as they hack a living "out of the wilderness with their own two hands, bearing their children along the way" (Last of the Mohicans, 1992). The stress and toil have real consequences on the relationships between the family members. Thomasin, the eldest daughter is suspected of having been complicit in her brother's disappearance and another brother's death. The father sells his wife's prized silver cup to purchase animal traps, and fails to tell the truth when it would have saved Thomasin from the suspicion of her mother. Later, the mother seems to hint at infidelity back in England after the father comes clean about selling the cup. Witchcraft and Satanism and Feminism -- I couldn't help but think about Hillary Clinton, watching the witch smear bloody baby ointment all over her wrinkly old lady backside -- symbolic of the State destroying the futures of the as yet unborn tax chattel. She apparently lives alone in a remote hut in the woods and is possibly able to transform into various animals (usually a brown hare -- not sure what it's supposed to symbolize). As you may know, there was a story perpetrated by the "vast right wing conspiracy" that Hillary and her gal pal and former "spiritual advisor", Jean Huston, who is a New Age mystic and once helped Hillary conjure the spirit of Eleanor Roosevelt in a seance in the Green Room -- oh but don't worry it was just "roleplaying"...in preparation for "It Takes a Village". The pay off at the end of the movie (major spoiler) ...is Thomasin conjuring Satan, selling her soul to him, and then following him, stark naked, at night, into the woods where there, a coven of 7-10 witches are gathered around a bonfire wailing in arcane tongues and levitating against the night sky...summoning the egregore of the future America...when women will wear the pants(suits) and use the power of the state to destroy their men and extract their resources through their urethras and call NASA sexist because it crushed their dreams of flying in space. I'd give The VVitch 82 out of 100 NuvaRings. The sound editing could have been a little crisper, especially since they were speaking in the Thee and Thou form of English. Visually, it's pretty bleak, which is an obvious choice in keeping with the stark emotional tone of the film. Great debut for Robert Eggers -- looking forward to seeing what he does next.
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Part two in my three-part article series on silencing the voice of reason. "Having principles carries a lot of weight. Your thoughts and emotions dictate your behavior. So if you have a certain mindset, you will act in a certain way. When you live in a highly delusional and unprincipled society as ours, having principles and applying them consistently requires enormous inner strength and courage. Your life is different than that of most people; your priorities are different than most people’s; your relationships are different; you see things that other people don’t see. And when you describe those things, people who are highly invested in staying unprincipled and irrational—that is the majority of our population—get upset and unruly." Read more here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/02/silencing-voice-of-reason-part-2-values.html
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As a European living in Thailand, I spend a lot of time thinking about how much potential is squandered by the ubiquitous corruption in Asian cultures. Many Westerners make the mistake of thinking it is something that can be addressed directly by "crack-downs" on bent officials, that you can remove a layer of grime and undercover a modern society, but the roots of this problem run so much deeper that I have serious doubts about whether it can ever be overcome. Readers of this forum will be well-aware that the self-replicating life-blood of twisted societal structures - such as abusive policing, permanent wars, parasitic politicians, ignorant populaces - is child abuse, in its many forms ranging from early exposure to aggression to years of educational incarceration. When we intellectualize this fact, however, it is all too easy to lose touch with the visceral reality of this situation for hundreds of millions of children. Today, a highly disturbing video is blowing up on Thai social media. It shows a father "educating" his four-year-old son. It was secretly filmed using a smartphone by the man's wife, the child's mother, herself the victim of years of violence, because she could think of no other way to save him - towards the end, we hear her desperately pleading "Stop, you'll kill him". Her release of the video onto Facebook quite probably saved the child's life and the widespread attention meant that he was not able to simply pay the normal bribe of a few dollars that usually resolves such matters, the police had to actually arrest him. Tragically, however, the seeds of damage have almost certainly now been passed along to his son. As a reminder of the sheer brutality which parents are capable of inflicting upon their own children, and of the importance of fighting this evil, I would like to share the video here. This is a link to YouTube. Please be aware that this is extremely upsetting, think about whether you really need this reminder, but for me it was an important insight into a primal instinct that flows beneath life here, resulting in an apathetic acceptance of corruption in daily life, the eradication of intellectual curiosity in children and the resigned acceptance of shoddy standards in everything. https://youtu.be/UmpWWEcO7HU
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Jacksonville, Florida dentist Howard S Schneider has been harming children for decades. He has recently given up his practice, but how does he get away with this? Isn't this literally criminal? [disturbing] https://youtu.be/LXrkRiK2C-0 (Mr Metokur) https://youtu.be/aITkcyyTzlo (CNN)
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Sticks and stones, with sufficient strain, can leave bones bruised and broken. But words can even harm the brain, no matter how softly spoken. Yet, even in a body cast and rendered completely still stones can only break your skeleton, while words can break your will.
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Do you guys know the study that Stef mentions saying that almost all violent criminals were abused as children? A few articles I found quote these numbers 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children. 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. Thanks!
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Hi Guys & Gals! Just like to share this recently uploaded video by DNEWS: 'How Spanking Affects Kids' (Nov 26th, 2013) www.YouTube.com/watch?v=WcO48w5Xcvo The reason why I'd like to share this is because I'd like to think that I, in part, influenced it. That's why I'm so excited to share it for my first post. (hope this is the appropriate subforum) They've been around for about over a year, and since their related to the Discovery Channel, they've grown pretty popular -and probably because they're considered "hip" too... I've been subscribed to their channel for almost a year, and I've seen them pull some BS political stunts, some related to violence, some related to specific "tools" that some violent criminals may use -and I've been hounding them about their BS since. I doubt they'll stop their propagandistic ways, but I'm glad to see that they've posted something that might influence a larger, younger, population. Enjoy! Best Regards, 10k, Vince
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My newest video: An example of a sociopathic convicted pedophile from the TV show "The Fall." http://youtu.be/h2bnuTxOMoE
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/lena-dunham-responds-to-sex-abuse-claims?bffbnews That's the article. Will be interesting to see how this gets spun, if it gets attention, etc. Hope it isn't a repost. Karl
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Be warned: These kids are about to cuss their heads off for Feminism. Oops... already a thread with this video/topic. Sorry! I'll be more thorough at checking next time.
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I've found an article (it's in russian - http://vishka.livejournal.com/217836.html) It's about sexual intercourse or relationship with a child.Author says that often it's not the sex itself that makes phychological trauma for child, but societal pressure on the case. She starts article from this story and provides links for 2 books on the subject: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/106971352/TheTraumaMyth.pdf - The Trauma Myth. The Truth About the Sexual Abuse of Children and It's Aftermath https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/106971352/HarmfulToMinors.pdf - Harmful To Minors. The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex. I thought it worth sharing.
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A witty and interesting approach to spanking. What would it look like if we were to apply these "moral" principles universally? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmKHpyo8j1Y
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Getting Children to Behave Child abuse is finally a topic in the mainstream s media. Check out this Article on NPR. It is pretty disturbing given that its focus is entirely on "getting children to behave" rather than respecting their own autonomy. One of the most disturbing things though is the fact that the author claims that "there is increasing evidence that that watching or engaging in aggressive behavior excites the reward centers in the brain, giving an incentive for aggression." What is disturbing about this claim to me is that fact that it is not mentioned that if your rewards centers are firing when you are aggressive it means that you at least have sociopathic tendencies. The author tries to pass this off as acceptable behavior, to be excited by violence. Absolutely disgusting. Another take on child abuse from our Lefty friends at NPR
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http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/05/21/quebec-man-who-slapped-his-13-year-old-daughter-so-hard-she-died-sentenced-to-60-days-in-jail/ Sounds like a freak accident but just another reason why you should not hit your kids. Also interesting is that she is 13 and there is no mention of the legality of the physical abuse. I know Stef is regularly mentioning that in canada you can hit a kid from 2-12 with an open hand and not in the face. This was a 13 year old and she was slapped twice in the face but they dont mention it being illegal. Seems like an important detail people should be aware of regardless the outcome of the case
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9 year old boy brutally beating toddlers right next to inattentive workers in Mississippi day care center (raw footage): Same case. Reactions and comments by mother and community. Father of one of the little girls enters the facility looking for her abuser and strikes a different child in a case of mistaken identity: Seperate incident from Iran I was just treated to when logging in tonight. Don't have to search very hard for this sort of thing: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=aff_1405297976
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Hey everyone, Do you know any studies of abuse in childhood of police officers, statistical data on this subject, or studies showing that a policeman is more violent than an average person? Thanks!
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Hi all, I really wanted to share some details of this event that took place earlier today. I'm feeling really proud about this and had to share it. I had just parked at my workplace and was walking through the car-park when I witnessed a man verbally abusing his children. His two sons were backed against the large 4-wheel-drive with the shopping trolley between them and a man who was probably their father. He was very tall and the children were very small, the older of them maybe 6 or 7 and he was probably over 6 foot. He was bent at the waist which invoked in me the image of a cave wall towering over the children. They were looking downward and holding their hands behind their backs looking quite afraid. I walked past them but about 20 meters away until they were obscured by a corner but after a few steps I turned back and walked toward them. I stood some distance and shouted out "excuse me". The man seemed to shrink in stature. He said timidly "huh?". He obviously knew what this was about and his demeanour betrayed an "I-I-I didn't do nuthin'." I continued with "I'm a fully grown man about 20 meters away from you and you're terrifying me." Pointing at my chest while my weight was on my front foot. Then pointing at the children but looking at him I said "I can't imagine what you're doing to those children." He didn't say anything but rather looked back down at his shopping, not at me and not at the children. He clearly knew he was doing something wrong. I hope the children were helped by this in some way, maybe they'll better understand that it is their father who is the wrong-doer and not they. I walked away with wobbly legs but feeling taller, and thinking to myself this is what life is about. I feel empowered and more confident than ever that I will not accept abuse inflicted upon myself or other innocents ever again. Thanks for reading.
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I have been taking care of my sisters kids for about 9 months while she has been in Rehab.. I am living at my mothers house during this time. My mother is a savage beast and an alcoholic. She takes no responsibility whatsoever for my sister being in Rehab. If I stay here much longer I am going to lose my mind. I want to help these poor kids who have been born into chaos. I have made the case over and over with my mother about the practicality of using time outs and yelling and the fact that it just makes things worse in the long run. I have sent her multiple links to articles and books explaining this. If I talk to her in person she just laughs at me saying something like "they need to learn they can't always have their way" She accuses me of "just letting them do whatever they want". The reality is she wants the kids to be broken so she can force them to do whatever she wants. She literally just a few moments ago put the little girl in time out because she wanted to wear her recital dress. My mother tricked her into giving her the dress by saying she was helping her take off the dress so she could go to the bathroom. But afterwards my Mother wouldn't give it back. So of course the little girl started crying and asking for it back. Because this behavior bothers my mother she picks up the little girl while she is still screaming and puts her in her room and locks the door. The little girl sobs and cries pressed up the door begging to be let out.. I am living in a nightmare. Not only am I stuck with this fucking beast of a person but I am powerless to protect the children from her. If I try to intervene she will go psychotic screaming and yelling at me threaten me insult me, she is capable of anything. I want them to have a chance in life and I am worried that I am just sealing their fate by being a part of all this. I am 100% committed to virtue and of course peaceful parenting, my mother is the exact opposite she just wants to get her way at any cost(so long as she can't get in trouble for it) I have recently come to accept the definition of the word sociopath to describe her, I could write a whole book on the horrors she has forced me to endure in childhood. The children have a strong bond with her and I worried that I am just making it stronger by tending to their wounds so she can rip them open again.. I want these kids to be able to identify monsters like this and avoid them not "love" them. I plan on moving out with the next 6 months but what then? I don't see any way of getting her out of my life so long as I am in the kids life. And when my mother is in my life I don't exist I am a just a chew toy for her insatiably sadistic appetite. Right now I am easily startled by noises, if I see my mom moving fast out of the corner of my eye I tense up and prepare for an attack. I am stressed to the point where its effecting my health. I am exhausted all the time. Anytime I am around her I feel nauseous. Its extremely difficult for me to be vulnerable and connected with the children around my mother, I can't be myself with them when she is lurking over my shoulder. Am I doing more harm then good by giving them this model even tho I am relatively able to give them the model I want when she is away Mon-Fri 6am-5pm?
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