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Hello, my name is benji (: I am a very driven person who loves to stay busy and meet new people (: . I just graduated with my bachelors degree in psychology with a minor in special education. I chose this path because I think it truly is the best way for me individually to help people and to spread the knowledge of goodness (: .In regards to what I do for fun, I love to play soccer. I have played for the UNC men's soccer team throughout my college career, which I will miss once I graduate. Although, I have just joined a Fort Collins coed soccer team!! AND IT IS SOO MUCH FUN!! hehe... I love to be active and routinely involve myself in different sports clubs and programs in order to live my life to the fullest (: . Most of all I love goodness/virtue, morality, and love. I spend most of my days researching and learning about new therapeutic methods in hopes to begin to add some good into this world (:. Simply I love knowledge,morality, honesty, and integrity. these are the some of the most important principles that make up the nature of who and what I am. Interestingly, I do enjoy partying and letting loose. But I am finding thats not exactly what makes me happy in all honesty. Although, I am very extroverted and can be the life of the party. hehe. Thusly, I enjoy long walks that involve lots of talking, i routinely video tape conversations I have, in order to preserve those moments that we all love, that we all wish to last forever (: .... What i loev most of all is creating and maintaining a deep and loving connection based on honesty. I am currently seeking a 100% honest and open relationship. Specifically my standards for relationships are only 3 honesty, courage, and kindness. These are the standards by which I am currently seeking a romantic partner and friends in my life. If your curious about anyone of my standards. I will love to discuss them further (: ... life is a series of challenges, but having people who you can share those hard occasions with is something that will only make those obstacles easier and more fun to climb together (: .... So what do you say? message me and lets do some climbing. hehe hehe, I simply love to love, . I do have a plan for the future, but of course, life and everything is always subject to change at any moment, so embrace the change, as no doubt, IT IS a beautiful time to LIVE!.... Also, I am a health nut so to speak. Eating healthy, working out, and maintaining my physical health is a very important quality of my life. (:, .... , In observation of my "Benji Nature" I am truly a cuddle bug and especially enjoy cuddling my fluffy puppy Charles, hehe. I have been told that i am a soft warm hearth to entertain ideas and enlighten the harder issues that many of us struggle with. for example, relgion, politics, life and death, purpose of life, these are all some of the most important things THAT ARE NEVER TALKED ABOUT!! therefore my goal is to change the world ........... with 1 tool love/empathy. and love is what i am seeking (: although, that will take time, so please know that truly, we are just becoming friends, because best friends make the best, life time lovers (:

Pulling the Fire alarm at the FDR Forum and the Compassion test. I have come to realize that I am first and foremost compassionate, not just to those with, but for those without, not just for those that always do good, but for those who sometimes do bad. I do not need a universal ethic to tell me “first do no harm…” but I am glad somebody else wrote it so I can put it in quotes. No one on FDR was willing to apply UPB to find a compassionate resolution to the Marry Problem. Yes, all the closed minded talk was about the Mary problem, it was all about the lack of compassion for Mary and the lack of compassion for me. Yes some of you had compassion for me, and thank you, but what I really wanted to find was compassion for Mary. I am not even sure there's enough compassion for Mary On FDR to knock her out before they put her in the Wood chipper, how very Fargo of you. I am not sure that really works, but I could not let the visuals of that slip by. Stephan, is not mean, but he does lack a good understanding of compassion, I say this because of his controlling style of conversation. Going so far as telling people they should not laugh about their problems. Sometimes laughing is all you can do, it is a coping mechanisms in this case, but it releases hormones in the brain that can help in problem solving. The funny thing about a joke is, you have to think about it. laughing is a sign of understanding and should be encouraged, not reprimanded. Seriousness is not a useful mindset, and we should not confused seriousness with focused. A comedian is focused and is in flow, when they are on stage hitting their mark, their clearly not being serious. So I hope that is proof enough for that idea. Stephan, you can not be held accountable for this behavior because you are not a licensed therapist, but please stop telling people how they should feel, it’s counter productive, and it can do real harm, and I will tell people to stop hitting their kids. Peanut gallery: “There he is going on about harm again. I just don’t get it, how can a wishy washy idea like harm have any meaning out of context.” In my mind there are 3 types of solutions in the world. Their are the perfect solutions, there are the good solutions, and then their are the solutions that work. Compassion, ranks high in my values matrix, it ranks way to low on FDR and it’s management, to support FDR, which is too bad. I will put my time money and energies in the mens right movement and the voice for men. Thank you for all you taught me in such a short period of time, it was worth every penny. Ok, maybe not, but it was valuable never the less. Oh I do have one parting Gift. Spelling? “Really” talk about a lack of Compassion, the truth is I try really hard, I have a learning disability that makes it extremely difficult to write what I have just written. “To do it, I use a voice synthesizer and I listen to what I wrote, and I catch most errors, but those fucking homophone’s piss me off. “ So let me ask you something would you tell a blind man to quit tapping his cane, because of all the noise? I don’t think so, so I suggest you get some help with your OCD, about spelling. Guilt sucks, but when people bring up spelling in a conversation about reason, I feel obligated to shame them and name them. AustinJames an acceptable Mary problem solution.

Over a year ago I read this letter at my therapist office and I cried my guts out. I realized what I missed all my life, what my parents didn't give me: Love. This letter helped me to realize that good parents and happy (normal) childhood do exist even if they possibly are 1% of the population but knowing that their numbers will increase in the future brings me joy. With a forum like this one, Stefan Molyneux and many authors who encourage people to know their histories and take their childhood dramas seriously so each one of us can stop the cycle of violence on the self and on others and especially stop violating kids. The letter is in French titled "Une belle enfance" I translated it and tried to keep its essence. Enjoy! The letter hello mrs alice MILLER, I'm very happy to write to you, now I finished reading your book "open your eyes to our own history" The Truth Will Se You Free, that I was advised by my neighbor, who read you and at one of our great discussions on children he insisted that I read your book. I am a facilitator in prevention in the field of addiction, legal or illegal drugs, this is the first time I read a book of my life and have no regrets because you encouraged me to continue to read what you write is so true. I am fortunate to have had an uncommon education , my parents raised me like you advise in your writings and I recognized myself in the history of President Gorbachev, I am very happy I did never experienced violence and yet I guess with the stupid things I was doing, other parents would have been extremely violent, I have the proof around me, you're right we must communicate to educate children, never hit them. I'll give you a concrete example. when I was 6 years old my parents one day went to a family party which was 6 km from our suburban neighborhood (Paris) seine saint denis 93, I knew where my parents were gone and knew the way because we often went to this family with my parents, I recorded in my head the way out of habit, so I proposed to my eldest sister of two years to reach both my parents at the party by foot. My sister told me okay, we took the path and went through the main streets, many cars driving fast, a very dangerous road, we arrived safely. Our parents watching us stunned believing that we had arrived to them through someone in my family who have accompanied us. my mother asked us very quietly not to traumatize us and with a smile, how did you come? we answered her by walking! my parents looked at each other and told us you are very smart! I felt myself at that moment, a big boy and they never blamed me or my sister, now I know their heart was pounding for fear of losing us, I can tell you hundreds of stories like this, or the times they feared for me, they had a patient behavior and full of love even in unspoken words, when in the street I was attracted to bad things it always came to my mind a oral agreement unconsciously my parents and I had taken, I would have never broken that oral agreement for anything in the world., I should write a book in tribute to my parents. All my life I've wanted to work in an office near doctors, I like the atmosphere of waiting rooms, I love the humankind because my parents gave me a lot of love, I say easily I LOVE YOU I know what love is I have always received it since my birth July 21, 1969 the day Neil Amstrong put his foot on the moon planet, my parents taught me to wish well to the other person and not the contrary to teach us to not to be racist, my parents told us when you meet a black person know that you have met luck. today in my humanitarian work I everyday meet stakeholders, psychiatrists, or social workers and can even tell you mrs Miller, what you are talking about in your book is true I see it with my own eyes and I detected for a very long time, you have reassured me I felt alone in the world realizing this, stakeholders are sometimes very sick, they only think of their name at the top of the poster or to have the largest lineup to have additional money from specialized agencies they want to make patients addicted to their institution, it is too easy to play with people who have problems and manipulate them stakeholders do not want to care for them and prefer to stay in power. I have no degree and got out of school after two years of training in mechanics at 16, I got a passion for music, at 15 I was attracted by the dj mixes, I trained myself to become dj alone by myself, fortunately for me because my friends at the same time were plunging their noses into heroin, I am 39 years old I'm happy in my own skin. in my work as a facilitator of prevention I bring my knowledge that is not found in the books of Freud and Lacan, autodidact I drew from great thinkers of psychiatry, with time and thinking I created a another form of approach, gentleness, patience, empathy and listening allows me for over 20 years as a professional humanitarian, to help people in trouble, and have never known except if amnesia, any violence from the people that I meet every day. My school is the street because the school of the republic (France) I tried to forget it since the kindergarten after a spanking pants down in public, I did not do anything I was calm and respectful Fortunately I met helping witnesses throughout my life the first ones were my parents. I thank you and support you until the last breath in your fight ... fraternally MRS MILLER. alice Source http://www.alice-miller.com/courrier_fr.php?lang=fr&nid=2362&grp=1108 I hope you enjoyed this beautiful letter Lens