Search the Community

This is a dream I had last night after self-examination. I have the goal of attending school to study psychology this summer. I have been addressing my thoughts and feelings related to why I am disinterested in building my business. Insights I found in this dream were related to why I feel intimidated by education and success. My goal with dreams like these is to be more clear about what I have to do to change my life and I'm sharing this dream to invite others to examine how we see ourselves in certain dreams. I'd like to discover what triggers weakness, smallness and frantic survival mechanisms as my interests expand so I can avoid self-sabotage Intro: From the start of this dream, I felt the fear I used to have entering and walking the halls of my elementary school during grades 3-5. Important Names: LENOX was the name of my school during that time. JAMIE was the name of a girl who lived across the street from me from the time I was born up until 4th grade. She was my age, light-haired and younger than her sister Danielle who was brunette. They used to come and play at my house with me (brunette, younger) and my sister (blonde, older) on weekends when we were staying with our father. We would be outside for a very long time. I would become bored easily as I was the smallest, weakest and slowest of us all. I would get very tired and upset when I couldn't catch any of them in TAG.My family complained that I whined all the time. DREAM: JAMIE was in the basement of a house sitting on a "Starbucks" recliner chair. She was vaguely focused on something off in the distance. I was a cross between a child and an adult- not a teenager though. I started talking to her but our convo was muted. She said "I'm waiting for Jamie". I pretended to know who Jamie was and she said "No, you don't know this Jamie". The basement was filled with students, teachers, and even some parents. I noticed a particularly familiar gentleman- overweight reading the paper in another "Starbucks" chair. He seemed to be waiting while eyeing me in annoyance. It was eerie. I felt danger, excitement, doom, anticipation, and a nonsensical calm reminiscent of short story The Lottery http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lottery . I did't know what we were supposed to be waiting for but I imagined perhaps there was an attack of zombies about to occur and people were counting down. I started to realize that maybe all the students were told they had to "prepare" for this somehow. I wasn't prepared most likely because I had known my mother to disregard any written correspondence from my school and to ignore my homework assignments. I didn't know how to prepare so when I realized everyone had pens and other materials- it dawned on me that we were definitely going to have a test. I didn't know on what. I was approached by a teacher I had known to be as sarcastic and dismissive as my family members. I expected her help during this crisis which was an ill assessment considering she ordered me outside where the zombies were going to be to get my backpack I had left out in the yard. A girl named Jessica Hamway from LENOX, who stood 4 feet tall for as long as I had known her, was in the doorway as I exited the basement through the garage. She gave me a hard time about having to go outside so close to the attack. Suddenly, I was in the front yard with Daniel Plummer- a boy I had known across the street at my mother's house at the age of 7. I was outside in the dirt yard with Daniel getting our stuff when I he was much older than myself and I got the sense he was advancing at his studies while I was floundering. I went back into the basement to see that Jamie had a pen, everyone else had pens or pencils and I didn't. I looked around in a panic to discover any rogue writing implements and I did in fact find one. I pretended that I couldn't remember if it was mine or not. I asked publicly if someone had dropped their pen. I knew I had to give it away if someone else came forward but I did ask anyway as to avoid being accused of stealing. The teacher said to me that if I went outside to get supplies it wouldn't make a difference anyway. It seemed like she didn't care if I went outside. It seemed she didn't take the threat seriously anymore and said "Nobody's going to get you out there- it's not time yet." The dream ended. .