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Hello. I often hear Stefan quoting a study that says children experience the same symptoms as children who have been maternally abandoned. I was trying to find the source for this study so I could give as reference to some friends and family of mine. Thank you for anyone who can help me find it. I have checked bomb in the brain series and online, but it is difficult to find that specific study referenced. Thanks! Warm regards, Justin

Hey everyone. I made the argument that comparable care (daycare) is like marrying your spouse and then hiring out someone to take them to dinner, etc. But then my spouse came back with the analogy doesnt hold up because daycare is for Children who cannot support themselves and therefore need someone to care for them whereas a parent or spouse does not need that care 24/7 i.e. goes to work and has a Life capable of doing things without the spouse present. I wasnt sure how to counter this argument since my spouse and I are looking to have kids soon within 1-2 years. Its clear that you wouldnt hire someone out to be your spouse but you wouldnt hire someone out to be a parent for your Child either. The situation gets harder when you need that person to understand why they need daycare. I listened to a podcast recently discussing comparable care as normalized within society whereas years ago it wasnt as commonplace since mothers could raise their Children while the father worked. Im digging hard into this and want to know what is best to do for our future Children since we live in Sweden and daycare is relatively cheap. I also work at a daycare and see how sad the Children are without their parents around. I wonder how much Money would save or what damage it would do to leave these Children in a state of maternal abandonment. I remember growing up in daycare as well and it was particularly brutal and different compared to living with my mom while my dad worked Before their divorce. My younger brother however was barely a year old when my parents divorced and I still remember him Crying and Crying in daycare... I also remember how happy and big his Eyes were when we were living at home and helping raise him. Maybe Ill drop the analogy since it doesnt meet with the same logic according to my spouse and I will focus on the facts and data since that alone is strong enough to compell others to do whats best for their Children. I love the show and this Community and figured I would come here to lay out my thoughts and drag em out from the shadows of my mind. My therapist gave me this tool to show once we drag things out into the light they dont seem so dark or scary anymore. Warm regards, Justin

I know that Stef has talked negatively about the effects of daycare in many of the shows. I'm trying to find the data that supports that position. Is that aggregated under one of the "Truth About" presentations or is it just spread around? I'd really appreciate some pointers to the research on how daycare affects children, whether it be positive, negative, or neutral. The reason why this is important to me is because my girlfriend and I have been discussing how we would want to take care of the kids if we were to choose to get married and start a family. I expressed my misgivings about the idea of giving our children to low wage workers for most of the day. I didn't have any solid data on hand to point her to when we were having this conversation though. She seems to think that it's alright because she was put in daycare when she was very little, and she turned alright. And later, after her younger sister developed health problems, her mom quit her job and ran a daycare service out of their house so that she could stay close. Naturally, she doesn't see an issue with it as long as you choose a good service. Unless I have solid data to back me up, I don't think it will be productive to push back much on this so if anyone has some good sources to share on the subject I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

Hello, thanks for clicking my topic This is my first post on freedomainradio, I'm quite excited to get involved! Il cut right to the chase... I'm having a bit of an issue with daycare. My fiance works in a daycare as an early childhood educator, in one of the "best" daycares on the island. I have witnessed their methods on several occasions, and as far as daycares go, I'm quite impressed. Their work ethics revolve around free choice and involving every child. This is the daycare that our child will go to. My fiance (Who I will refer to as Ash from now) will not be allowed to be in the same group as our child, but she will be able to frequently visit and periodically interact with them on downtime. So the main issue is: I still don't want to send my child to daycare, but considering all known variables, this daycare situation is much less like a typical one, Is it THAT bad? I know its a subjective question, I'm more so looking for people with experience with daycare that could shed some light We have talked about one of us taking time off work, or even looking for a rotating shift. I am totally fine with not working, but Ash isn't so keen on the idea right now. She is concerned financially, even though I have assured her that we can still net profit on mandatory expenses without me working. Besides, I can do some personal work from home here and there at nap time(s). I make just above minimum wage, Ash makes about 55% more than I. That being said, if we both worked for the younger years of our childs life, we would be able to move into a house sooner; we are currently renting a moderately sized apartment. So all things mentioned above, what do you guys think? P.S I'd be happy to expand on anything if there is something you feel is too vague or is confusing in any way. Thanks again

filmed in the netherlands, absolutely nauseating

When the Swedish guy who was talking about not feeling connected to people was on, I kept expecting him or Stefan to talk about how much time he spent in daycare as a small child. Clearly, I can't know about this persons situation, but it is usual for children in Sweden to be in full time daycare from the age of 1, and that doesn't help much with the connection between child and parent. School starts at 7 years old, and it finishes quite early in the afternoon (although children can stay in school for a few more hours if needed), but maybe this person went home when school finished when he was 7 and so got some more time with his parents, and maybe that is why he mentioned from 7-10 years old. Lots of maybes in here, but I hope it is useful nonetheless.

I have just been to marriage counselling with my wife. The main point of contention was whether or not it is ok to force my 3.5 year old to go to daycare if he doesnt want to. We have agreed with the daycare that he should go 4 days a week for 4 hours each day. My wife and I both agree that it is a stimulating and useful Montessori environment for him and we want him to go. We also need to work at least some hours per day to have an income. Currently, he will go to daycare if I agree to come in with him and stay for some time, yesterday I stayed for 1 hour, and then he was perfectly happy for me to go and for him to stay for the remaining 3 hours. The staff there do not like it that come in with him. I agree that it would be better to say goodbye at the door, but my son is not comfortable with that yet. However, and this is where the disagreement arises, if when it comes drop him off, he will not stay without me, both my wife and the staff and happy for him to be restrained while I walk away. We have not done this so far, as I refuse to do this. The marriage guidance person also thinks this is fine. I have to note that my wife, the daycare staff, and the marriage guidance person will not say directly - yes, we will hold him back kicking and screaming while you walk away . What they say is things like "you have to tell him that this is how it has to be and then walk away" ... they omit the physical force part. I have lots of people against me on this and I need to find some evidence - articles, research etc, that not using force is best for my son.