Search the Community

This is a question that I've long sought an answer to but could never pin down. It's a topic I've only rarely heard discussed on the show, the most recent being the interview with Gary Wilson who wrote Your Brain On Porn (highly recommended). Basically, is pornography of any kind morally wrong to consume? If so, what is the argument that pins it to the wall so we can help perpetrators see their immorality? If not, should we treat it as an addictive behavior/substance? Like booze or opiates? Or should we be hands off in addressing it? I personally see nothing morally wrong with a guy in his room consuming weird fetish pornography, just like a guy smoking on his balcony. He isn't committing rape, theft, assault or murder, so his actions don't violate UPB. It's a different case however if he's supporting (or funding) pornography in which UPB is being violated, the content of that example I'm sure you can fill in yourselves. At the same time, I can't help but get this feeling or voice in the back of my head that tells me something is wrong. That this has an air of destructiveness that can have devastating effects on a person's life. It goes deeper than a nicotine addiction does, because sexuality is something so personal and intimate. This feels like a totally different beast that I can't get good philosophical footing on. Maybe I'm over-thinking it and if twenty-year-olds wanna watch hentai then there's nothing wrong with that, but something feels off. As for Stef's views on this, I've extracted little tid-bits from shows, one about sexual fetishism where he said sexual fetishism needs to be corrected, and in the same show he questioned the listener on his openness about his fetish with his mother. He said "How do you talk about this stuff with your mom? 'I like it this way with whip cream and a dinosaur toy-' this is just something I never wanna hear from my children." And he didn't say it in an angry or condemning way, but in a joking sort of "that's private and should stay private". The show is titled The Origins Of Sexual Fetishism for those interested. In conclusion, here's my best "argument" against the consumption of pornography that I'm unsure of: Why would you need porn to be aroused if you're in a relationship? What is it about your significant other that is lacking in the sexual department? Shouldn't your lover be the only source of arousal in your life? Porn is wrong to consume because you pledge your sexual arousal to your partner, and them to you, so using porn is like going to a prostitute or cheating. All done for sexual needs at the neglect of your partner. So what are your guys's opinions on this? Link me a previous thread if it's been talked about before.

I hope to raise a discussion here on the merits of reality vs. fantasy for young children. I hope that readers at least question the effects of fantasy on kids. I have come to the conclusion that it can be harmful to children under the age of 8 to be taught fantasy. This might raise a knee jerk reaction when you first read this. It did for me. After more research though it appears that young children cannot differentiate the between fantasy and reality. If they see a movie with talking cars, the children believe that cars can talk and have emotions. If they read a book about someone with superpowers they think that is real, and believe they may grow up and have super powers. Introducing this to children then can be seeing as lying to them, since they do not understand the differences. What is the point fantasy for children? Instead of having them play around in wonderland, why not have them join you in reality? Why give them a fake cooking set, when you could have them help you cook dinner? Why show them a “Cars” movie when you can teach them how cars actually work. Why work so hard to keep them from learning about reality, and instead have them join you in it? In Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius, Angeline Lillard writes: “Dr. Montessori… believed that the goal of childhood is being able to learn and perceive the real world… giving the child fantasies… thwarts their understanding of the real world…” “So what if kids learn fantasy? I did and I turned out fine.” It is true that we can have fantasy as kids and be normal adults. We are just a little behind. Rosyln Ross explains it best: It’s all math: children who live in the real world from birth spend 8 years practicing real life instead of pretending they’re a princess. That’s a lot more expertise in real life skills than the average American child gets. The number one thing parents can do to facilitate the co-creation of a healthy relationship with their children is to welcome their children into their lives instead of trying to keep them out or trying to get them to do "children" things. Parents can bring their children with them to life while they model a life-well-lived instead of going to great lengths to invent a world for children that doesn't actually exist. When parents do this, they are on the same team as their children and parenting becomes a lot easier and more fun. I highly recommend listening to Roslyn Ross’s speech from Libertopia to learn more- Part 1 is about relationships - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCmDUquKAUQ Part 2 talks about fantasy for children (including its history) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJG1rrjD3lQ Studies and other resources: Rosyln Ross's Blog: http://roslynross.blogspot.com/ Thinking About Fantasy: Are children fundamentally different thinkers and believers from adults? Child Development, 6, 991-1011 Making Sense of Pretence in C Lewis & P Mitchel Children's Early Understanding of Mind: Origins and Development p, 211-34 British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 12, 417-27 Children's ability to distinguish fantasy events from real-life events, Samuels A and Taylor M 1994 DeLoache 1998 The Development of early symbolization: Educational implications. Learning and Instruction, 8 325-39 Piaget 1970 Science of education and the psychology of the child

I just published a graphic novel on Kindle. It is a fantasy adventure story, but I slipped a meme or two into the narrative and i am including a sample page here. Here is the link to the Kindle site for any interested: link

Hello people! I had a personal revelation a few days ago that I wanted to share with the board. Approximately 1 year ago I experienced quite a depression. My weeks would be characterized by extremes. One day I'd be really happy, and the next I'd be in extremely depressed with myself. I could actually predict when I'd get my downs, most of the time down to the day, with a few days head start. Anyway, at this time of my life, I would be drawn to certain fantasies. These would show up in my head during my depressed days. And I remember that they were really alluring, but I tried not to let myself lose myself in them, because they felt scary and uncomfortable. But, at the same time, they'd feel very good, in a bittersweet kind of way I guess (hence why I had to struggle to not go along with them)? Now, I haven't felt the urge to seek out these fantasies for a very long time. But, for whatever reason, a few days ago, I felt one of these fantasies knocking on my door. That's when I realized that I had had these kind of fantasies before (I had forgotten about them), and that perhaps they had some insight that I could benefit from. Alas, I have only (I think at least) managed to figure out the common theme in these fantasies, but not much else. But still, I feel that this is an important discovery for me. I thought I'd share the fantasies I had. So, the two most recurring types (and most detailed) of scenarios that I would indulge in where: 1: For some reason, people around me think I am mentally ill. I am dragged away to a mental hospital. I know that I am not ill, and fight all the way there. But, when I get there, the staff there injects me with different kinds of drugs to keep me in an almost coma-like state. I am physically imprisoned in the hospital, and mentally through the drugs the give me, for a long time, perhaps a few years. However, for some reason (inaccurate diagnosis or something), the staff realize they have made a mistake and I am released. But it's to late, all the drugs I were given have made me unstable, angry and emotionally distant. The rest of the fantasy, the shortest part of it, is about how I am nurtured back to mental health with great patience and empathy, often by a girl(friend?). 2: I have a girlfriend. In some way or another, someone vicious from my teenage years (a nasty verbal bully), manages to convince my girlfriend that I have cheated on her. This fantasy is a bit harder for me to remember completely, but it ends up with me being beaten down by some people that are friends with my girlfriend. Later on, she realizes that I hadn't cheated on her, and she tries to come into contact with me again. But I refuse to see her, because I am think I could be beaten down again. Now, I think I understand the theme of these fantasies. And that is that I am right, but doubted by others. This results in me getting hurt, leaving scars on me forever. Has anybody else experienced something similar to this? If so, were you able to learn something from it?