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I have been looking for a more complex journaling phone app (Android user). I have found a couple of pretty good ones that allow for a decent functionality, flexibility and organizability such as Evernote. The problem is all the good complex apps I found are online based and the data is stored on external servers not to mention that cloud storing system is not that safe from attacks. Since I intend keeping the most private information one can have in there I am not comfortable with having my data stored somewhere online, I want a completely local data storage. However, all the offline apps I found lack all the complex features I need and after a while of using them they get pretty messy due to the lack of sorting, organizing, taging options. What I care most about is at least having the option to tag the files and the possibility to create multiple folders. What do you use? What would you recommend. Thank you.

“I can hardly hear myself think”, is a phrase that is often spoken when we lose our ability to concentrate while we are in the presence of overbearing noise. I think that, when we are bombarded throughout our lives with the endless commotion of external “standards”, which have scant to do with producing excellence within us as much as it has to do with producing convenience for others, “standards” that not only contained unrealistic edicts to aim for unattainable heights, but often contradictory and ever changing whims that were impossible to follow, I think that when we are repeatedly left trapped in such paralyzing double binds of intolerable humiliation, we too not only lose our ability to concentrate on our thoughts, but also our ability to concentrate on our genuine needs and preferences. In low-nurturant familial and school environments that are hostile to what we want, we comply in order to survive. So, in order to prevent each day of our childhood from becoming a new nightmare, these voices become internalized and continue to drown out the melodies of our true feelings and desires well into adulthood to keep us safe. Hence, as adults, with our sense of self still mute, we often become completely paralyzed when we are faced with opportunities and choice. Questions of what success and failure means to us become incredibly difficult to answer. These protective alters have no sense of time, but they do respond when listened to. And overtime, with persistent awareness, curiosity, and negotiation, these protective voices can learn to heed their protective layer of dissonance and produce a fine harmony of trust among the Self once again. And once more we shall be free to ask, uninterrupted by an uproar of foreign expectations, “Am I doing everything I want at the level that I want to do it?” and in being able to finally hear whatever the answer is to that question, no longer will our identity remain unheard. And once we hear it, it will never remain unexpressed. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted on medium in September. https://medium.com/@joelpatterson_52315/the-unheard-identity-uncovering-the-self-through-persistent-listening-bdcc284eb189 If you enjoy my work, I gladly accept bitcoin donations: 1ALYYHuvAUjjsXLHJRyCxGQ5E9rDoDVpx4

Intro In order to retain things better, it's best to engage multiple senses. Writing is good because there is a touch and visual component, and when it comes to journaling and self knowledge, it's useful the way that writing out math problems is good for learning math. Daniel Mackler has said that he really likes journaling by typing on a computer, which means that he can easily search for keywords later. I've known people (including the therapist I went to for 4 years) who swear that actually using a pencil or pen is massively better than typing. And I'm sure that there are pros and cons to both. I have about 3 1/2 composition books full of journals, which is nothing compared to some of the other people on the boards (e.x. @cherapple). And I don't dislike it, but one thing I have a hard time with is how fast I write. I write in all capital letters which I prefer, but with that and the fact that it's by hand, I go relatively slow. The Problem This is a problem for me because I have a train of thought I want to follow, but in writing it down, I tend to lose the momentum of the thought as the writing lags behind. And when I catch up, I'm often pulled in another direction. Sometimes it's even frustrating. I'm a pretty fast typist by comparison (I code for a living), but still, it's not as fast as simply talking. And I'm actively engaging in the activity of typing while I'm chewing through some novel thought. And I don't like to have anything distract me while I'm trying to process things. I will even turn off the lights and get comfortable in my bed and I run a rain generator in the background to relax me and cover up any ambient sounds like my roommate rummaging through the fridge or my cat scratching her litter box. The Solution Inspired by the donator only series about the Mecosystem (similar to parts work in IFS therapy) I decided to try and figure it out and see if what the all the fuss was about. My experience is apparently very different than what other people have reported on the boards, which I find very interesting (an example of how it works for me here). After doing it for a while, I started to really like the format a lot. I talk into my phone with a voice recorder app and I just talk freely. I think also that it could definitely compliment therapy. With a therapist I want to get their feedback as much as possible, and not necessarily go on a stream of consciousness rant following my thoughts to the end. Although, that too sometimes. Audio Journaling I don't always want to do mecosystem work, but I do quite like the format. And I don't really care much for just writing what I did that day in my journal; I'd rather have it be aimed at processing something. (I also don't know how to use semi-colons). And there was something Stef said that struck me. He said something like "all the memories we have, we have for a reason. There are countless things we never remembered, so why the things we do remember?" So what I've been doing is getting into a relaxed state like I described above and then turning on my recorder. I say that I'm just going to let the first childhood memory come up that wants to come up and then we'll explore it, keeping in mind that I remember it for a reason. I've been finding this incredibly valuable. And way more satisfying that handwriting in a composition book. An example of how this went for me was in exploring the following memory: I'm around 8 years old, it's midday and the sun shining a bright white light into the house, and I'm sitting in the dining room watching my mother in the kitchen cooking or doing dishes (I can't remember) and she's singing and dancing to the oldies station being pumped out by this little black radio in the window with white paint speckles on the bottom right of it's face. I'm enjoying this a lot and I go into the kitchen for some random reason and my mom grabs my hand and pulls me into a spin, and I'm suddenly dancing with her. This is one of my favorite memories. And thinking about it evoked bitter sweet feelings. It stands out in contrast to the much more common experience of my mother which was not fun and not taking joy in my company. I remembered how I resented her in my early teens, and how I judged her to be shallow, avoidant, stupid and a whore for marrying my stepdads who were alcoholic deadbeats who she didn't seem to respect very much, but had some money. I always really liked my younger sister, but my other sisters either bullied me or did other things I didn't like. The teachers I had were generally women who were not very bright and didn't try and earn my respect. And I had a "worldview" about women, that they are all, to varying degrees, like my mother, who was indifferent and inappropriate, or my sister who repeatedly humiliated me. And this presented a huge dilemma for me: I didn't respect women, more than that I often resented womankind, and I desperately wanted affection, and to be loved, and desired. I started to see how this universal judgment about women had affected decisions I had made. On one side I would get a terrifying annihilation panic when approaching girls I liked because girls are dangerous, and on the other side I was overlooking girls' really bad qualities and how disrespectful they were toward me because,... girls are dangerous, and I should not expect much virtue from them, but desperately hope that I could get that affection I wanted so badly, and be desired and loved. I've raised my standards considerably in the past few years and I don't take much shit from people, including women, but this part of me is still alive and kicking. And I had never seen so clearly how these things related until audio journaling about it (and then talking about it with @Joel Patterson). I think that the reason I remembered that event in the kitchen with my mom was because events like that one did a lot to shape my expectations about girls and dating. Questions I don't know anyone else personally who journals this way. Even people who do mecosystem work tend to do it on paper. Have you tried journaling like this before? Have you tried taking this approach to processing your past by starting with random memories? Are there other targeted approaches to journaling that would be good with this format? Do you journal in some way that isn't handwriting or typing or audio? I'm really curious. I've been experimenting with ways to level up with my work on myself, because the route I perceive as standard doesn't work for me as well as I'd like. Thanks for reading this ridiculously long post, and I'd love to know what you think

Maybe you’ve seen some of my posts here on the self-knowledge boards. You may already be aware that I offer therapy over skype, but I also offer aid and consulting with journaling. Journaling has been the foundation to my happiness and gaining self-knowledge. As much growth and healing as I’ve experienced during therapy, I’ve gained so much more on my own in my journals. I know and understand that journaling is can be a very difficult and emotionally overwhelming process for some people, and I would like to offer my services and experience to help. To mention my skype therapy practice as well, I am available at a very affordable rate--especially compared to in-person therapists--and I have something that I believe most therapists do not; I’ve done the work myself! I began listening to FDR in 2008, started journaling in 2010, sought therapy in 2011, and have dedicated thousands of hours to diving into and understanding my own psyche. I’ve seen just how much I’ve grown and changed, and I’ve likely faced challenges similar to what you may be experiencing now such as: procrastination, self-attack, social anxiety, sexual shame, uncertainty about the future, distress over a toxic home or work environment, insomnia, isolation, loneliness, vanity, emotional disconnection, and compulsions/addictions regarding caffeine, video games, and sweets. If you’re looking for a therapist or need some help journaling, and you’re feeling curious--or nervous while reading this--then you can either contact me through PM over the boards or email me through a form on my website. I hope that you find what you’re looking for, Drew Woods

Hey all, I want to share with you my new musical album, The Boy Dreams, created specifically for the journaler seeking self-knowledge. The album notes are: The Boy Dreams is an instrumental album meant for self-knowledge oriented people to journal to. It was recorded with the idea in mind that songs good for repeat listens would support sustained introspection. The songs cover a range of emotions and soundscapes and evoke inspiration, creativity, and tenderness. Please hop over to http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stevensummerstone2 to preview all the songs. I'd encourage you to purchase any that catch your fancy or the whole 18 song album for $9.99. Alternately, you could pay me what you think is fair via Bitcoin and I will send you a download link to the high quality MP3's. For the Bitcoin option, send me a PM and I'll get in touch! The album should be up on Amazon and iTunes by the end of the month. Enjoy the music, -Steve If you'd like a free sample MP3 from the album, write me a PM with your private email address and I'll send one over!

Ive been journaling and I keep having this problem. Maybe some of you also have this and could share some insights. When I'm writing i keep feeling compelled to write for others instead of for me. So im writing my experience so others could understand it. I keep catching myself and saying this is only for you Ivan ! Not for anyone else so feel conferrable. Sometimes a few days pass and i keep drifting back into the old habit. Its like I write as if there is someone watching over me reading what i write. Im having trouble with this and its making me not want to journal because sometimes I go back and i could see how i wasn't being honest or 100 percent genuine.

I read an article a year two ago about a study that had been done that helped victims of child abuse overcome some of the emotional trauma from their abuse by writing about it. I guess I didn't think much of it at the time, or thought they were just talking about journaling or whatever. But reading it again recently I realized it might actually be pretty helpful. I recall some years ago trying to put together a story of my childhood to help me recall things that had happened and dramatic events traumatic events. I didn't get very far with the project partially because I type very slowly and partially because I couldn't emotionally connect with anything I was writing about. According to research that they have done at the University of Texas writing provides a means to externalize traumatic experience and make it less overwhelming. So this evening with the help of this article I wrote about some traumatic experiences from my childhood. One of being very scared by my father telling me about the boogie man when I was about three and then having a fever dream and seeing the boogie man's footprints on the ceiling. And another experience of being abandoned and lost at about the same age in a park when I was out walking with my parents. It really amazed me how much those experiences still triggered genuine emotions even though they happens nearly 30 years ago. I think that writing about the feelings that you had about traumatic events in your childhood and how you feel about them now can be immensely helpful. I'm now thinking that I will continue this project until I can get a firm grasp on much of the traumatic events that happened in my childhood. There's only so far that abstract understanding can get you. I've often wondered where Stef gets such clarity on the traumatic events of his childhood, and it's no doubts because he did a lot of therapy and journaling. I mean just this evening I've discovered that my father is a sadist or at least leans in that direction because he thinks it's a good idea or funny to tell a three-year-old about the boogie man who is going to come and get him. I have a daughter who is almost 3, and I would never tell her a malicious story of that kind. But beyond that I also realize that there are some things that will scare a child that's the parent cannot control. So for instance my wife brought home some live crabs and tried to cook them. Being inexperienced with live crabs she let them escape the pot and they ran all over the kitchen and scared my daughter when she saw them. My daughter was scared for weeks afterwards and had bad dreams about the crabs. Even now many months later she was very scared by a crab toy and we had to show her that it was just a toy and not scary. The points in telling that story is that my daughter was scared of the crabs but because she had caring and empathetic parents she has been able to deal with that, and we have not tried cooking more live crabs in the house so we are not re-inflict in any kind of scares on her. But with parents who delight in the idea of telling a child that a scary monster is coming to get them I had no one to help me process my fear or to help me feel safe. Anyhow that was a fairly long-winded way of saying that you should really look into writing about your traumatic experiences if you are having trouble processing them or if you want to gain some more self-knowledge.

Hello. I wanted to share this with the board, in the hopes of someone might have advice they could share with me. Be warned though, this could very likely be a very messy post, because my thoughts are all over the place. My situation today: I am in collage, studying at the moment two REALLY easy courses, which gives me in a sense, all the free-time in the world. This has been the case for a month now. My weeks have looked like this basically: Go to the gym 3-4 times a week, listen to pod-casts on FDR, work as a volunteer at my union's union-house as a chef's apprentice and as personal when there are night-clubs, go to parties with my friends, work within my fraternity, hang with my two closest friends in my dorm. However, the last week or so, I have noticed something that consumes enormous amounts of my time: Sitting in front of the computer, doing practically nothing. Basically pressing F5 while on facebook. And for the last few days, my mood has deteriorated. I have felt apathetic, powerless. Imprisoned within my own room, and I am my own guard. Or, my anxieties are my guards. Well, that's a hypothesis I have at least. Could be wrong of course. What I mean by that is, that I am running short on money. I am, for the first time in my life, approaching a situation where I MUST find myself a job to pay the rent and put food on my table. Problem is, I have extreme anxiety around the prospect of applying for a job. Essentially paralyzing me when I for example, try to write a resume. Today, just 20 minutes ago, I took out my camera, and recorded myself for 30 minutes straight (I used to do my journaling text, but now I am trying out video-journaling and I find it easier actually), just blurting out stuff. Stuff like ''Alright, I am really frustrated because I want something to do! But not just something to pass the time, but something I have a passion for! Something that I can devote almost all my time to, make a living out of, have as my life-goal! I want a purpose! I want meaning!'' My mind was racing at this point, I wasn't sitting down recording, but pacing about, starting to breathe like I had been running for 30 minutes as a not-so-fit-person (basically, I hadn't done anything physically that would make me breathe like that). I would stop talking during that time and start to sing instead, that I didn't know what to do with my life. I also noticed a few thoughts pop up in my mind, which did not make sense to me. Thoughts like ''Your life is over, it's to late to achieve anything, you had your chance but you passed it up!''. Even though, intellectually, I know that I still have time. I am only 21 years old, and I have passion! I have good health! But I don't know where to put all my potential! I don't know what to do with my life. Sigh. I am sorry if it is all over the place.