I decided to make this topic to expose and try to deal with my traumas and I hope you could participate. Even if no one sees this topic i have at least expressed my thoughts and emotions.
I have this issue around people, for some reason, that makes me very anxious whenever I try to talk about me, my thoughts and feelings and when I in fact do in fact express myself I feel very bad and anxious and I become fearfull of the other persons response. This problem makes me very reluctant to engage in social interactions as well as making me sound and act like a robot because I have to evade certain words, expressions and actions which is very stressing.
Other horrible implications about this consists of reacting in a negative fashion when people respond to my thoughts (i don't always act on it because i know some people are trying to help for example i tend to get mentaly hostile to some things that Stefan says but the way he speaks disarms my defensive mechanisms) and the inability to differentiate between abusive responses and genuine spontaneous and healthy responses.
Maybe it's just the kind of people i'm with....Any thoughts on this ?