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Hey everyone. I made the argument that comparable care (daycare) is like marrying your spouse and then hiring out someone to take them to dinner, etc. But then my spouse came back with the analogy doesnt hold up because daycare is for Children who cannot support themselves and therefore need someone to care for them whereas a parent or spouse does not need that care 24/7 i.e. goes to work and has a Life capable of doing things without the spouse present. I wasnt sure how to counter this argument since my spouse and I are looking to have kids soon within 1-2 years. Its clear that you wouldnt hire someone out to be your spouse but you wouldnt hire someone out to be a parent for your Child either. The situation gets harder when you need that person to understand why they need daycare. I listened to a podcast recently discussing comparable care as normalized within society whereas years ago it wasnt as commonplace since mothers could raise their Children while the father worked. Im digging hard into this and want to know what is best to do for our future Children since we live in Sweden and daycare is relatively cheap. I also work at a daycare and see how sad the Children are without their parents around. I wonder how much Money would save or what damage it would do to leave these Children in a state of maternal abandonment. I remember growing up in daycare as well and it was particularly brutal and different compared to living with my mom while my dad worked Before their divorce. My younger brother however was barely a year old when my parents divorced and I still remember him Crying and Crying in daycare... I also remember how happy and big his Eyes were when we were living at home and helping raise him. Maybe Ill drop the analogy since it doesnt meet with the same logic according to my spouse and I will focus on the facts and data since that alone is strong enough to compell others to do whats best for their Children. I love the show and this Community and figured I would come here to lay out my thoughts and drag em out from the shadows of my mind. My therapist gave me this tool to show once we drag things out into the light they dont seem so dark or scary anymore. Warm regards, Justin

I have been into the idea of peaceful parenting for about six months. I am still a recovering authoritarian parent of four beautiful children who were victims of my lack of parenting knowledge for far too long. (They're now 6, 8, 9, and 12 years old) My problem is: I am hitting a huge brick wall when it comes to getting my wife on board with the new methods and I'm not really sure how to approach it. She has already agreed not to spank or hit the children, but it's not because she "gets it." She complies with my wishes out of fear that I will get upset at her if she does. I've already let her know that I am not willing to accept this treatment for our children anymore. Another caveat is that she is heavily influenced by her friends and family who all find my new methods silly. I've tried to sit her down and explain the methodology and the rationale behind it all, but I can't seem to get through to her. I'm worried that it is my fault for being unable to properly communicate the ideas and influence her to change willingly. I realize that we need to provide a united front when it comes to parenting our children, and I'm not willing to budge on using coercion and fear to raise my kids. Anyone have any suggestions for this scenario?