Search the Community

After recently going through an indie game called undertale I’ve had lots of feelings come spur inside me that seemed to melt away my cynicism about "the world". I think this is because of my 1 year in therapy, dealing with self-knowledge relentlessly and totally new and better healthy company of acquaintances and friends. However the game was yet another spark that after listening the soundtrack trough also felt really good and came to this realization. The track in the game that finally broke the camel’s back called "Hopes and dreams" followed by "SAVE the world" And it hit me, we often speak of, wish, dream or try to save the world and fight evil or/and defend freedom trough reason evidence and logic. In my own mind i felt hopelessness about my own life and future because fundamentally i felt despair having to combat the seemingly impossible task of fighting evil. The desire in me to be good and spread goodness and to save others. I believed it was not only MY job to take on evil of the world but most importantly that it was the World that needed saving. I was wrong. The world is not needing of saving the "World" is cant have peace any more than sun can calm the fuck down. I was anthomorphising human corruption and evil STILL to reality itself. And when i finally said "Save the humans" or "Peace among humankind" i felt switch in my head like someone had suddenly turned the light up and shattered all the shadows around me. I felt as if i didn’t NEED to save the world because it was impossible, a way of making it a false hope inside me and thus greatest source of despair. If humans are the ones in trouble and human ones that DO evil then saving the ones i can save or HELP is enough. Suddenly it’s enough to help/save few because it’s no longer about being the hero that saves the world by destroying evil and overcomes all odds and come out on top. But rather about not believing in false hope or obligations that are impossible, believing in goodness that is possible for me here and now. That my life, MY hopes and dreams arent in the chains of despair, of cynicism, of nihilism, of others "eye rolling and world wearyness." That my hopes and dreams, my goals, what i value is not IMPOSSIBLE TASK and forever evading me elusive like heaven or some paradise somewhere yet out of reach. And the game itself Undertale deal with this notion exactly. It’s about society, childhood trauma, betrayal of innocence and origins of war. It deals with cynicism, with violence, pessimism, nihilism about goodness and is in many ways about the PROJECTION of ones experiences unto reality itself. I’d recommend playing the game for its profound way to speak to your feelings while taking the fourth wall and kissing it goodbye.