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What is your "reason for being?" Why are you alive, as opposed to not alive? What do you strive for? Do you strive for anything beyond momentary pleasures? If so, what? How do you know it's worthwhile? Why do you want it in the first place? What value am I to society? Why do I care about my value? How do I know this is in fact my value? These are all questions I regularly ask myself, and while I have my own answers: I am alive because I like living more than not; I strive to build a family; I want to build a good family because I came from a terrible one; and I think it will be worthwhile because it works for Stef. I consider my language skills to be, essentially, my only real skill as, besides my ability to speak and write, I am a very plain person with only a layman's wisdom in any of the various fields I study--history, philosophy, self-knowledge, creative work, etc.--and therefore without my language skills I am not "special". And then there's that question; "Why do I have to be special?" My answer: I don't know, but I think I have to be special because I despise everything that is ordinary and mundane, and if I am mundane and ordinary, I must hate myself. These questions, I'm asking, for both personal and professional reasons. I want to know why people live. I want to know why you live. The reason being, I want to compare myself to others in order to gauge my own value relative to others who have signaled a desire for self-knowledge and self-reform by making themselves regulars of FDR. Also, I want to know more about superior people. Superior being defined as "willing and actively seeking self-improvement and evolution; as compared to inferior people who are wrongfully content with who they are. Wrongful content being determined based on the economic value and the depth of relationships one has." Therefore "right contentment" would be a millionaire following UPB and NAP along the same lines as Stef. He can be content because he has proven himself a man of quality, and established himself and his progeny above the masses. Asking again: What is your reason for being? You don't have to answer all the other questions, but I'd appreciate it if you did and shared how you determined your reason for being. After all, I'm not entirely sure if it is right for me to have this mindset that people should have a reason for being at all.

Its kind depressing to have to admit because we largely want to think the best of ourselves but I would definitely say I lack ambition. My work ethic too is something i'm not proud of. I brought this up in therapy. My therapist then asked me about what my parents were like as far as pushing me to do well. In school, I always managed to do well but only because I didn't want to perform poorly...not with the intention to do great. My parents always said that as long as we were happy it doesn't really matter how good/bad we performed in school. So school performance wasn't emphasized at all. When I look back, I always appreciate this aspect of my how parents treated me, but my therapist thinks that them not pushing me to do better likely played a role in my current lack of ambition/work ethic. Are these things innate to certain individuals? Is it learned? Both? Is there a delicate balance in terms of pushing your kid, but not too hard? What does it say about me that I am more motivated by avoiding negative consequences rather than striving to do better for betterment's sake? Currently I work for a company which would not exist if not for the state. I've been there for over 5 years now. I was a minarchist at the time I started, but a struggling one after watching an "open letter to Ron Paul supporters". Once I determined that the dark side wasn't for me, I began to feel lousy about where I was working etc. But that hasn't resulted in me making an effort to find a different job. The reason is that I don't hate it enough. The pay isn't great either. It's like its just not bad enough for me to look for something else. I'm fine with contentment even though I'm capable of doing much better for myself. I also want to point out that I don't feel like a victim about my circumstance. I'm a grown ass man. I own these problems. I just wanted some insight. Some other things: I did go to college, but again, I did just good enough to get by (2.9 GPA). I went to school to become a therapist but after taking this job, I haven't made any attempts at starting my masters. Also, I'd have to re-take some classes to get my GPA up to a 3.5 if I want to get into a program. Pretty demotivating. The state of the economy and the impending collapse is another reason I am using to avoid going back to school or seek another job, but my BA alone isn't sufficient for many descent paying jobs anyway (human development and family studies). Lastly, I have a great support system of friends who know all of this and are always encouraging for me to get active. I didn't want to make it long, but I did want to leave enough detail to get good feedback. Thanks advance for your response(s).