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My girlfriend and I had a lengthy argument last night about whether women are "responsible" for the detriments children suffer from growing up without a father. I ruled out cases due to rape or widowing, naturally. Eventually we agreed that a woman is responsible for the reasonable vetting of her sexual partners, if she is not prepared to terminate a pregnancy via morning after pills or abortion. We also agreed that the extent to which vetting is considered "reasonable" is influenced by the fact that a life hangs in the balance, therefore setting the bar for "reasonable" quite high. She still claims that the father's decision to ditch is far more important/bears more responsibility. Does anyone here think a woman is just as responsible (50/50) or more responsible than the man? If so, why? Is it useful to even discuss the extent to which one person is more or less responsible, so long as it is recognized that they bare some responsibility? Is the question of assigning moral responsibility relevant once it has been determined that, blameworthy or not, women's decisions to better vett their sexual partners can have positive and negative impacts on child rearing as a whole?

A new article, where I comment on a response I got that argues yelling at your child is okay, even useful. In it, I explain why this is not the case, and analyze the response itself and how it reflects on the psyche of somebody who thinks this way. Response I received: "Not that I do not agree with any of this, but as a parent (and someone abused badly as a child--in most all ways), I can say some of it is ridiculous. I am sorry. Parents sometimes yell at their children. They get punished and disciplined as the situation dictates, and ALWAYS mine know why. The world is not going to be always empathetic to ones problems. There is not going to be people around to SOOTH them all their lives...sorry, but that is true. No, if my kid has a slight scrape I won't over indulge them (they are 10, 12, and 15) as they must learn to do it for themselves too. I am not abusive, but, as most parents will admit, I am not perfect. But, the world is not an empathetic place...by and large...they should not have to learn that the hard way. I do not beat, neglect, nor have scared my kids the way I have been. Seeing as I was abused, I do make en effort to do the best I can to not repeat. I agree everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, but, people piss people off...and one should be able to correct a wrong and be heard...if yelling is needed to be heard...so be it! " Read my analysis here: http://blog.selfarcheology.com/2016/04/q-i-yell-at-my-children-and-they-will.html